# Let's design THE heart-unhealthy meal of all time! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 4, 2003, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485 "2003-10-04T02:54:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/21 "2003-10-04T07:34:58Z")
THE ultimate “Death by Chocolate”. Dulce le Leche Ice cream by (I think) Haagan Daaz, a large freshly baked giant chocolate/chocolate chip cookie. Hot Fudge sauce, Hot Caramel sauce. Put the still warm cookie in the bottom of a bowl. Pile ice cream on top. Pour warmed up fudge and caramel sauce over the top. Top with other ice cream “condiments,” such as pralined pecans, nuts, chocolate chips, toffee chips, as desired. Don’t forget the real, or mocha whipped cream!! Happy heart attack!!! ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/22 "2003-10-04T07:36:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by squeegee \* > \*\*So, let’s say that, just for one meal, I get to cheat and eat the most unhealthy, cholesterol soaked, transfatty, evil stuff imaginable. What would be the most unhealthy meal for your heart that could be designed for one sitting? > > Anyone have a “heart attack on a plate” to recommend? Help me be reckless, just this once! \*\* (psssssst) “Body for Life” helps you lose weight, gain muscle, AND you get a “free day” to splurge once a week. NOT just “once”. ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/23 "2003-10-04T09:51:16Z")
Well, I’m going to take this one ultra-seriously, and create an actual menu. How’s about a formal, eight course meal of utter decadence and complete sybaritic abandon? First Course: Pate de Fois Gras served with buttered, toasted rounds of French bread Second Course: Hearts of Palm and pear salad with walnuts, garlic croutons and bleu cheese dressing Third Course: Homemade Seafood Chowder (bacon, clams, scallops, shrimp, crab, potatoes and heavy cream) Fourth Course: Butterflied shrimp stuffed with scalloped crab parmesan Fifth Course: Sauteed wild mushroom linguine with Asiago cheese, drizzed with white truffle oil Sixth Course: Lime Sorbet – just to cleanse the palate Seventh Course: Roasted duck, stuffed with spicy red pepper and chestnut dressing Eighth Course: Old-fashioned bread pudding with apricots, topped with homemade vanilla ice cream Darnit, now I’m ridiculously hungry. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/24 "2003-10-04T14:25:00Z")
What, no Hollandaise Sauce? ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/25 "2003-10-04T14:36:38Z")
Hollandaise is so five minutes ago. Notice the reliance upon the holy triumvirate of dairy foods: butter, cheese and cream. Dairy is where you get the best of all worlds, tanginess, mellowness, saltiness, top-rated mouth feel (in tests, dairy foods are typically said to “feel” most pleasant in the mouth) and lots of enjoyable and satiating fat and calories for good measure. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/26 "2003-10-04T15:12:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lavenderviolet \* > \*\*I’m sure it’s not tasty enough to be a good “reward meal”, but the subject line immediately made me think of the Swanson “Hungry Man” frozen breakfast. It’s \>1000 calories just for a BREAKFAST! I see them in the freezer every time I go to the store, so I guess there is some kind of demand for them. I get sympathy angina pains for whoever it is that keeps buying that junk. \*\* Speaking of frozen dinners, there’s a REALLY REALLY good Marie Callendar’s frozen dinner (I think that’s the brand…the one in the big green box) of fried chicken and mashed potatos and mmmm…country gravy! If I remember right it clocks in at about 800 calories and is around 50% fat. I’m guessing that’s if you use the entire gravy packet though, which is like a cup and a half of gravy. As for killer breakfasts – not sure if they still have it but Denny’s used to have something called the “Triple Play Grand Slam” which was ham, bacon, sausage, eggs and hash browns (and maybe toast, heavily buttered no doubt!) We used to refer to it as the “Triple Bypass.” My own death-inducing concoction: Bacon-wrapped fried mozzerella sticks, with alfredo dipping sauce.\* Wash down with some Royal Gate vodka (or similar rot-gut) so you will also go blind in the process. (\*I’ve never actually made/eaten this, but wouldn’t it be something?) ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/27 "2003-10-04T17:37:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TeaElle \* > \*\*Well, I’m going to take this one ultra-seriously, and create an actual menu. How’s about a formal, eight course meal of utter decadence and complete sybaritic abandon? > > First Course: Pate de Fois Gras served with buttered, toasted rounds of French bread > > Second Course: Hearts of Palm and pear salad with walnuts, garlic croutons and bleu cheese dressing > > Third Course: Homemade Seafood Chowder (bacon, clams, scallops, shrimp, crab, potatoes and heavy cream) > > Fourth Course: Butterflied shrimp stuffed with scalloped crab parmesan > > Fifth Course: Sauteed wild mushroom linguine with Asiago cheese, drizzed with white truffle oil > > Sixth Course: Lime Sorbet – just to cleanse the palate > > Seventh Course: Roasted duck, stuffed with spicy red pepper and chestnut dressing > > Eighth Course: Old-fashioned bread pudding with apricots, topped with homemade vanilla ice cream \*\* Marry me. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/28 "2003-10-04T17:47:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by voguevixen \* > … As for killer breakfasts – not sure if they still have it but Denny’s used to have something called the “Triple Play Grand Slam” which was ham, bacon, sausage, eggs and hash browns (and maybe toast, heavily **buttered** no doubt!) We used to refer to it as the “Triple Bypass.” … [sup]MEPHASIS ADDED[/sup] As if! Deny’s (as I call them) does not use butter. Everything that comes out of their kitchens is all soaked in the same combination of margarine and axle grease. The last (and I do mean _last_) time I ate there some five years ago, every single item on by breakfast plate all tasted exactly the same. All of them had been slathered with this hideous industrial lubricant they try to pass off as their house “butter.” ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/29 "2003-10-04T17:52:57Z")
For breakfast: 2 Scotch eggs, with a side order of bacon. After that, it’s all pretty much redundant. ---
**Author:** ![Spram](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@Spram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spram)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/30 "2003-10-04T18:05:33Z")
Spram’s choco sandwhich: INGREDIENTS: 2 Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts One Hershey’s Milk chocolate bar Nutella Peanut Butter (optional) Leave the chocolate bar at room temp. Toast the pop tarts after the pop tarts are done, put the chocolate bar between them as if it were a sandwhich, put Nutella on both sides to serve as a adhesive. Use peanut butter if wanted. put on microwave for enough time to make soft, but not enough timeso it explodes etc… EAT WITH CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM or COOKIES N CREAM! ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/31 "2003-10-04T18:24:42Z")
Does anyone remember the article about chicken fried bacon served in some roadhouse in Texas? IIRC, it was described thusly: “…take some fat, dip it in fat, roll it in some more fat, cook it in fat, then ladle some fat over it” So how about a chicken fried bacon chimichanga except instead of a tortilla, you use freshly cooked chicharron? Mmmmmm porky. Don’t forget the avocado, sour cream, cheese, and country gravy toppings;) ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/32 "2003-10-04T18:56:53Z")
Here you go: [Chicken Fried Bacon](http://www.s-t.com/daily/01-99/01-16-99/a05op025.htm) . I was thinking about that exact same article when I read the thread title and OP. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/33 "2003-10-04T20:06:09Z")
There’s always [Turducken](http://thanksgiving.allrecipes.com/AZ/Turducken.asp). 1639 calories per serving, 577mg cholesterol. ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/34 "2003-10-04T21:22:04Z")
Well, I couldn’t decide, so I just had half a pizza, a coupla Guinesses, and a chaser of Ben & Jerry’s New York Double Fudge Chuck Ice Cream. buuuurrrp. Ah, sweet victory. Back to the gym & oatbran tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![WortMeWorry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@WortMeWorry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WortMeWorry)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/35 "2003-10-04T21:31:53Z")
For fast food you could always have the no longer available, Cheddar Bacon Sausage McMuffin with Egg.Or as I named it " The Widowmaker".It was an english muffin saturated in butter, two slices of cheddar cheese, three pieces of bacon, one piece of sausage, and a poached egg. Add the Hashbrowns, and a coke, for extra goodness. It actually sold very well. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/36 "2003-10-05T00:10:57Z")
I’m always amazed at what the fat content of a good ol chicken-fried steak meal must be. It’s red meat, not a real recognizable cut granted, but still it’s read meat, then it’s battered or breaded, then it’s fried in grease, then it’s covered in gravy made from grease and cream with, you guessed it, extra meat in it?! Mmmm with a fluffy huge serving of creamy smashed potatoes and more gravy…oh my. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/37 "2003-10-05T00:44:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lynn Bodoni \* > **If you still have leftover bacon grease, fry up some potatoes and onions in them.** And if you _still_ have leftover bacon grease: Drink it. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2003, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/38 "2003-10-05T01:26:43Z")
Dr. Nick: “Hi everybody!” Dr. Nick: “Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology.” Dr. Nick: “You’ll want to focus on the neglected food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group and the chocotastic!” Dr. Nick: “Well…be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use poptarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon, …” Dr. Nick: … And remember, if you’re not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it’s your window to weight gain. Bye bye, everybody!" > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Queen Tonya \* > I’m always amazed at what the fat content of a good ol chicken-fried steak meal must be. It’s red meat, not a real recognizable cut granted, but still it’s read meat, then it’s battered or breaded, then it’s fried in grease, then it’s covered in gravy made from grease and cream with, you guessed it, extra meat in it?! Mmmm with a fluffy huge serving of creamy smashed potatoes and more gravy…oh my. And your point is? Zenster [who is frying up a chicken fried steak as he types this] ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/39 "2003-10-05T02:14:42Z")
**ResIpsaLoquitor** -the “Good Morning Burger” was my first thought. How about lounge fries: french fries with melted cheddar and mozarella cheese and bacon bits on top. With ranch dressing for dipping. (I LOVE those fries!) ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2003, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485/40 "2003-10-05T02:56:12Z")
I also have to recommend a genuine Philly Cheesesteak from Pat’s in South Philadelphia. (Accept no substitutes, particularly if you really want to lube your arteries.) I believe Pat’s can mail them, but you really want to eat them fresh. Better yet, get two, with extra everything, and eat it immediately without dripping any of the grease. Although if you DO lose any grease, there’ll be plenty leftover. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-design-the-heart-unhealthy-meal-of-all-time/205485.md?page=3)