# Let's do this criminal thing "out in the desert" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2021, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043 "2021-03-30T19:59:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2021, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/141 "2021-04-03T15:20:03Z")
And it didn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2021, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/142 "2021-04-03T21:39:19Z")
But you make one post about growing leafy plants and you get shut down… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2021, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/143 "2021-04-03T22:29:31Z")
Sure, maybe the Doper community could come up with examples of other dicey things that people may seek to do in out-of-the-way places that are not necessarily disposing of human bodies. But _that_ would increase the claim of plausibility… ---
**Author:** ![kitap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@kitap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitap)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2021, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/144 "2021-04-03T23:10:27Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > > [@abcdefghij](#): > > > > > [@msmith537](#): > > > > > > Do people not use pigs anymore? > > > > Pigs? In the desert? > > They are called “[javelinas](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peccary)” But they are not pigs. ---
**Author:** ![ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chockfullofheadygoodness/32/511_2.png) [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2021, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/146 "2021-04-03T23:39:25Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > It seems obvious that the _Fried Green Tomatoes_ solution is the best one Having access to a restaurant kitchen does help. [This chef in my neck of the woods](https://www.dailybreeze.com/2014/07/23/court-upholds-murder-conviction-of-lomita-chef-david-viens-who-killed-boiled-his-wife/) boiled his wife’s body for 4 days, poured the sludge down the grease trap and threw the bones in the dumpster. Her body was never found. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2021, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/147 "2021-04-03T23:53:14Z")
> [@ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness](#): > > [This chef in my neck of the woods](https://www.dailybreeze.com/2014/07/23/court-upholds-murder-conviction-of-lomita-chef-david-viens-who-killed-boiled-his-wife/) boiled his wife’s body for 4 days, poured the sludge down the grease trap and threw the bones in the dumpster. Oy vey. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2021, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/148 "2021-04-03T23:55:10Z")
Don’t order the pork. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2021, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/149 "2021-04-04T00:10:39Z")
I wonder if any restaurant customers were feeling worried… ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2021, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/150 "2021-04-04T02:31:41Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Don’t order the pork. I would be leery of the sausage. The hamburger, even. Put enough barbecue sauce on the burger and the diner will never notice the long pig in there. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2021, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/151 "2021-04-04T06:16:29Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > Not a fair assumption. Have you ever tried digging in the desert? Every place I’ve ever taken a backhoe/pickaxe/shovel to in the US’ southwest and the Middle East, I’ve invariably encountered [caliche.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caliche). Sometimes it was 3’ down, sometimes it was 3" down. That is why you make _them_ dig. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2021, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/152 "2021-04-04T10:29:03Z")
. . . assuming _they_ are: a) still alive, b) able to wield a shovel or pickaxe, c) you have the time to supervise, d) you are more heavily armed than a prisoner wielding a shovel or pickaxe. Tripler . . . lest the prior victim be digging thine _own_ grave after ‘bonkage’ with the aforementioned implements. ---
**Author:** ![Bootb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@Bootb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootb)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2021, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/153 "2021-04-04T14:18:21Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > The best place to hide a body is in or under your house. When killers who do that are caught, it’s always because they let one get away, not because someone found a body. Considering that decaying bodies typically smell quite badly, I strongly question whether that’s the “best” way. > **[Smell permeated Cleveland neighborhood where 11 bodies found, residents say -...](https://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/11/04/ohio.cleveland.bodies/index.html)** > > The smell permeated the neighborhood, turning the stomachs of residents and curtailing their outdoor activities. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2021, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/154 "2021-04-04T16:16:55Z")
In the case of your link, the smell was blamed on a sausage factory next door. The bodies weren’t discovered until one of the killer’s victims escaped and police arrived with an arrest warrant for rape. ---
**Author:** ![Pork\_Rind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pork_rind/32/111_2.png) [@Pork\_Rind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pork_Rind)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2021, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/155 "2021-04-04T16:58:52Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I was going to suggest that a couple/few days ago, but there’s a catch. There’s radar coverage over much of U.S. airspace. Even if you’re flying VFR outside of a traffic area, there’s a good chance you’ll be bouncing waves. And I’m pretty sure the FAA saves radar ‘tapes’ (maybe digital now) for a short time. The story’s even worse now in these days of ADS-B and the eventual deprecation of most radar. Now everything is recorded, not just by the FAA, but by guys like me who set up ADS-B receivers and share data to the various public aggregators. ---
**Author:** ![abcdefghij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/43a26b/32.png) [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2021, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/156 "2021-04-04T17:38:39Z")
If you fly out of an uncontrolled field and you never turn on ADS-B or your transponder, does anybody notice? Way back when I was flying a little bit, military radar could get a return, but ATC didn’t see much of anything that wasn’t transponder-enhanced. ---
**Author:** ![abcdefghij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/43a26b/32.png) [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2021, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/157 "2021-04-04T17:39:30Z")
How many bodies can you get in an ultralight? ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2021, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/158 "2021-04-04T17:44:41Z")
At least one. Just don’t kill them first…and teach them to fly. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2021, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/159 "2021-04-06T19:29:38Z")
> [@DPRK](#): > > The point of going out on the desert to dispose of a corpse, or, more generally, to conduct some type of clandestine activity, is to be able to work unobserved. Problem is, civilization is teeming with ubiquitous CCTV cameras. So, while much of this thread has been about the elimination of remains, it seems that at least as much attention need be paid by our hypothetical gangsters or serial killers to the fact that activities such as hauling body bags or bin bags to the back of their car (or accompanying a recognizable individual for a little trip!) will likelier than not be video recorded, as will the victim’s last movements, and anyone attempting to trace the disappearance of our Jimmy Hoffa will certainly go looking for such evidence. Meh, not necessarily. I have an attached garage & only one neighbor between me & the end of my street/development with a cam. He bitches about how it’s doesn’t work more than it does so there may not be any footage of me leaving. At the main road I could go left or right. Even if I wanted to go left, I could go right & around the block. Any investigator looking at surveillance footage to the left wouldn’t see anything, & remember they don’t know the time or even day I (allegedly) left. Living in the city there’d probably be more camera but further out in rural areas there’d be even less. There probably aren’t camera where you’re getting out of your car. George Santayana said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” Let’s see what we can learn from the past. The recent past - three months ago today. - Don’t post pics/video of your crimes to social media - Don’t tell anyone, especially your **ex** about your crimes, double especially if you’re going to insult them while [confessing](https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/zoetillman/an-alleged-capitol-rioters-ex-turned-him-in-next-day). (Who’s the"moron"?) - Don’t take your cell phone w/ you as it’ll show where you went & the route you took to get there based upon cell tower pings. > [@LSLGuy](#): > > ISTM the hardest part of dumping a body at sea or in the desert is loading it into your car back in civilization. And in the case of disposal at sea, transferring it later to your boat or airplane for the trip out to the water. > > Bodies are heavy, awkward, and if you subdivide them to be lighter and easier to handle, they’re very, very messy. - A large cooler, maybe weighed down with ice to keep your hoped for catch fresh wouldn’t be that suspicious to take out on a boat. Just remember, that they’re frequently made of foam, which floats. Shooting a couple of holes into it isn’t going to sink it. Something [Tommy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Capano) didn’t take into account. - Finally, unless you’re a professional, the body you’re trying to get rid of is somehow connected to you, a spouse, a lover, an ex, a boss, annoying cow-orker, or a friend or neighbor. The first couple you’re _definitely_ going to be a person of interest to be cleared The police can charge [you…& your lover…& your lawyer with murder & related crimes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappearance_of_Jennifer_Dulos#Initial_arrests) even w/o a body. IOW, successfully getting rid of the body is only part of the equation. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2021, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/160 "2021-04-06T20:55:51Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > Finally, unless you’re a professional, the body you’re trying to get rid of is somehow connected to you, a spouse, a lover, an ex, a boss, annoying cow-orker, or a friend or neighbor. The first couple you’re _definitely_ going to be a person of interest to be cleared Yeah - This is the _real_ problem with body disposal. They don’t need to find any body other than yours. And you won’t be hard to find unless you’re already hard to find or take it on the lam. Said another way, in the case of a murder or disappeared person, the old police trope “round up the usual suspects” is truly applicable. But they don’t mean their favorite list of local mopes. They mean the deceased’s friends, lovers, ex-s, estranged family members, neighbors, and co-workers. Damn good bet the killer is in that usual list someplace. The very occasional @Stranger_On_A_Train notwithstanding. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2021, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043/161 "2021-04-06T21:27:11Z")
Something about this thread reminds me of a [Brian Eno/John Cale song](https://youtu.be/rfANkyYqU1s). I like Eno and Eno/Cale, but this is far from their best work. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-do-this-criminal-thing-out-in-the-desert/939043.md?page=9)