# Let's get some good jokes goin' on here! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 29, 2006, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-get-some-good-jokes-goin-on-here/354757 "2006-04-29T18:43:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2006, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-get-some-good-jokes-goin-on-here/354757/41 "2006-05-02T04:18:34Z")
I went to the in-plant Safety Office to buy some steel-toed boots. They didn’t have the model I wanted in 13EE. I was about to leave when Safe-T Grrl said, “Wait a minute. I have some supervisor boots in your size. They’re similar to what you wanted.” “What’s the difference?” “The supervisor boots have instructions written on the heel.”\* \*(refers to “too stupid to pour piss out of a boot with instructions written on the heel.” ---
**Author:** ![hawksgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2006, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-get-some-good-jokes-goin-on-here/354757/42 "2006-05-02T05:17:21Z")
> [@jake1964](#): > > Students at Texas A&M University are called Aggies. Here in Texas we tell Aggie jokes. Hey now, California has their Aggies too (UC Davis Aggies!). But around here, we don’t much like Sac (Suck) state. So… The Sac State professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late. Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student’s immediate family. A smart ass student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. ‘But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?’ As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look. ‘Well,’ he responded, ‘I guess you’ll just have to learn to write with your other hand.’ ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2006, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-get-some-good-jokes-goin-on-here/354757/43 "2006-05-02T07:10:04Z")
> [@Kotick](#): > > Pekka is driving down the road when ‘boom’ he gets a flat tyre. “Perkele” he says, and after discovering he doesn’t have a jack, he decides to walk down the road and try to borrow one from someone. > > As he’s walking, he’s thinking “Damn, they probably won’t have one.” He walks a little further, and the growing suspicion increases… “I BET they don’t have one”. He walks further… “DAMN IT, I’m sure they won’t have one, and if they did they wouldn’t lend it to me anyway.” > > Finally he reaches a cottage, picks up a rock and hurls it through the window, shouting: “KEEP YOUR BLOODY JACK!!” I so do not get this joke… mm ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2006, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-get-some-good-jokes-goin-on-here/354757/44 "2006-05-02T12:35:58Z")
> [@jake1964](#): > > Students at Texas A&M University are called Aggies. Here in Texas we tell Aggie jokes. And if you want to hear lots of good Aggie jokes, just call 1-800-AGGIE-IQ! Have you read Helen Keller’s best-selling novel? It’s called _Around The Block In 80 Days_. There was a man who, on his 90th birthday, decided to visit the local whorehouse to celebrate. He walked in and told the madam, “I want one of your youngest and prettiest girls for the whole night!” The madam, who didn’t want to hurt the old guy’s feelings, sought out a sweet young thing and told her, “This fellow will probably fall asleep before he accpomplishes too much, but treat him nice and don’t upset him. Make him happy and I’ll pay you a bonus.” The girl agreed, and the two of them headed for a room. As she lay on the bed and the old guy approached her, he halted and went to retrieve his pants. He reached into the pocket, saying, “I wouldn’t want to start without protection!” But to her surprise, instead of a condom, the man took out a clothespin and a pair of earplugs. Puzzled, she asked, “Why in the world do you need those?” He replied, “Well, Little Missy, if there’s two things I hate, it’s the smell of hair burning, and the sound of a woman screaming!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-get-some-good-jokes-goin-on-here/354757.md?page=2)