# Let's have fun with the TSA this holiday season! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 22, 2010, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600 "2010-11-22T23:58:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/41 "2010-11-23T19:23:51Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > I already complained to my congress critter and senate human, federal level. Who else can I whinge at? The airlines. Honestly, they have far more motivation to make this change due to feedback than elected representatives do, since they have a profit motive _and_ they have the ability push the airports into hiring private security instead of the TSA. Plus, they don’t have to worry (as much as politicians) about having political cover in the case of future attacks. Extra delays, pissed off passengers, and people opting out of air travel all hit the airlines where it hurts. I’m writing a letter to the two airlines who serve the route that I _won’t_ be flying over Christmas (I’m driving instead) and letting them know exactly why. ---
**Author:** ![atomicbadgerrace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@atomicbadgerrace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atomicbadgerrace)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/42 "2010-11-23T20:00:26Z")
> [@iamthewalrus\_3](#): > > Honestly, they have far more motivation to make this change due to feedback than elected representatives do, since they have a profit motive _and_ they have the ability push the airports into hiring private security instead of the TSA. Plus, they don’t have to worry (as much as politicians) about having political cover in the case of future attacks. Extra delays, pissed off passengers, and people opting out of air travel all hit the airlines where it hurts. Then you’re just hurting the airlines. I don’t know where you have the idea that airlines have anymore push than the average citizen, in this regard. The TSA will not listen to airline executives anymore than a group of well educated citizens. They simply have no motivation to. Airports can elect to hire private security instead of the TSA, but the cost of doing so is no doubt extraordinary compared to the cost of using the TSA agents to do the same screening. [QUOTE=[Travel Tips | Transportation Security Administration](http://blog.tsa.gov/2010/11/tsa-myth-or-fact-leaked-images.html)] All commercial airports are regulated by TSA whether the actual screening is performed by TSA or private companies. So TSA’s policies – including advanced imaging technology and pat downs – are in place at all domestic airports. [/QUOTE] So, replacing the TSA with a private security company that does the _exact same things_ the TSA does accomplishes what? I suppose it puts a few hundred TSOs out of work and raises the cost for the airport, who will in turn pass it on to the airlines, who will in turn pass it on to _you_. But if those are your goals, then far be it for me to convince you otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/43 "2010-11-23T20:12:06Z")
Here is a perfect example of how silly this extreme pat down nonsense is- last Xmas, we flew back home from London a couple of days after the crotch bomber failed to successfully detonate his hot pocket. Were all flyers subject to enhanced security checks? Absolutely- purses and bags were thoroughly inspected, coats were patted down, books and magazines were rifled, and we were reasonably and professionally frisked. Not once were anyone’s genitals or breasts touched. Why not? Pick one- unnecessary, improper, stupid, hysterical… Whichever. And yet, almost a year after that incident, the TSA decides it’s time to start groping crotches? WTF?!? Not enough :rolleyes: in the world for this. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/44 "2010-11-23T20:20:46Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > In my experience, boobs do not need to be awesome to attract male viewers. They only need to be boobs. They’re not even boob pictures. They’re a grey blob. Who the f-ing cares? > [@Moirai](#): > > And yet, almost a year after that incident, the TSA decides it’s time to start groping crotches? WTF?!? Not enough :rolleyes: in the world for this. Nobody is groping anybody’s crotch. Simmer down. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/45 "2010-11-23T20:29:17Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > I have an odd feeling that what the Washington Post _reports_ and what actually _happens_, don’t always jibe. And what is the traveller to do when told, on-the-spot, by a TSA [del]failed police officer[/del] (oh, let’s call them what they are) person who gets off on ordering others around, and in this context _gropers_, that he or she must agree to abrogate his or her 4th Amendment rights as a condition of being allowed to board a public conveyance–and better yet–of being allowed to refuse the search, thus agreeing not to travel on the public conveyance, but threatened with federal prosecution if he or she does not agree to submit to the possibly-unconstitutional search as a condition of \*leaving \*the airport? > > America–the land of the free? I’m having my doubts. How can flag-waving patriotic Americans who brag about their “freedom” justify these restrictions on their constitutional rights? I’m guessing you don’t have the slightest interest in actually knowing what constitutional caselaw applies here. But if you, or anyone, does, I will be happy to answer. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/46 "2010-11-23T20:31:25Z")
If you want the rules changed, please torture your Congressional Representatives, not the poor folks on the front line. Thank you. ETA: Bricker - I’d like to know. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/47 "2010-11-23T20:45:38Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Nobody is groping anybody’s crotch. Simmer down. Maybe not in coach, but that’s why I’m flying first class.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/48 "2010-11-23T21:02:04Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > I’m guessing you don’t have the slightest interest in actually knowing what constitutional caselaw applies here. > > But if you, or anyone, does, I will be happy to answer. Actually, I would be interested–a plain reading of the 4th Amendment tells me one thing, but I honestly don’t know how the 4th Amendment has been interpreted by American courts. So, if you’re willing to explain further, I’d be interested. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/49 "2010-11-23T21:07:20Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Nobody is groping anybody’s crotch. Simmer down. Yes, they are, that’s the whole point of the opposition to the new procedures. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/50 "2010-11-23T21:31:29Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > Yes, they are, that’s the whole point of the opposition to the new procedures. Your definition of crotch-groping differs from mine if you’re talking about that brief pat down they do of your inner thighs, followed by a brief tap of your crotchial area with your clothes on. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/51 "2010-11-23T21:46:33Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Your definition of crotch-groping differs from mine if you’re talking about that brief pat down they do of your inner thighs, followed by a brief tap of your crotchial area with your clothes on. I can remember my youth, when that was all it took for a happy ending. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/52 "2010-11-23T22:00:03Z")
From [this article](http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/894845--airport-pat-down-worse-than-going-to-a-gynecologist) in the Toronto Star. > [@](#): > > An ABC News employee described an underwear search Sunday morning at Newark Liberty International Airport that was “worse than going to a gynecologist. > > “The woman who checked me reached her hands inside my underwear and felt her way around,” she said. So some people are getting groped. From the same article - > [@](#): > > Security agents, meanwhile, told an airline blogger how the pat-downs are destroying their morale. > > “I want to tell these people that I feel disgusted feeling other peoples’ private parts,” one told Steven Frischling. > > “I go home and cry,” said another. “I have been hardened by war, and in the past week I am slowly being broken down by the hateful comments.” ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/53 "2010-11-23T22:42:09Z")
Body paint. go wild. purple balls, red dick. paint your ass checks blue. Yellow on the chest. that’ll brighten up the TSA perverts day. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/54 "2010-11-23T22:50:45Z")
[Here’s a little fun](http://current.com/entertainment/music/92815544_poway-grammy-winner-pens-tsa-pat-down-protest-song.htm)–a video and a parody song, set to the country standard, “Help Me Make It Through The Night.” Sample lyrics: _Take the ribbon from your hair Shake it loose and let it fall. Leave your shoes right over there Now, get up against the wall I’ll run my hands inside your thighs Up your legs and out of sight But you can trust the TSA To help you make it to your flight._ ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2010, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/55 "2010-11-23T23:57:08Z")
We keep redefining the argument from “This isn’t doing much if anything to make us safer – this is ridiculous,” to “Oh, it’s not that bad.” I think we seem to be losing some sense of “No. This is unacceptable.” ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2010, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/56 "2010-11-24T03:56:26Z")
I keep hearing Dave Chappelle in my head- “Okay n\*\*\*\*r, spread your cheeks and lift your sack!” 😉 I was thinking of wearing a Whizzinator. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2010, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/57 "2010-11-24T04:12:19Z")
> [@Moirai](#): > > I was thinking of wearing a Whizzinator. Hopefully filled with pure liquid LSD… (Dance party in Concourse L) ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2010, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/58 "2010-11-24T04:25:43Z")
Slight hijack. Does anyone know what the actual rules are (and are they written somewhere?) regarding protestations of treatment by TSA? After reading the “touch my junk and I’ll have you arrested” guy’s story, where they said he’d be fined 10k. For what? For protesting the potential to have his person violated? Is it really a law that you, as a traveler, have to submit to any/everything they want to do, and that if you protest in any way you’ll be booted from your flight, fined and possibly face legal action yourself? I mean, if a person WERE to pull a Meg Ryan, what would they be able to charge you with? Unlawful snark? IANAL, so I’m not sure what that sort of thing is called in legal jargon, but what sort of breaking the law IS snarkiness? ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2010, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/59 "2010-11-24T08:10:36Z")
You can’t use the word hijack in here! ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2010, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600/60 "2010-11-24T10:29:27Z")
> [@](#): > > I mean, if a person WERE to pull a Meg Ryan, what would they be able to charge you with? Unlawful snark? IANAL, so I’m not sure what that sort of thing is called in legal jargon, but what sort of breaking the law IS snarkiness? Obstructing a federal officer in the execution of his/her duty, or something along those lines? Realistically will the TSA give way on this one? I know it’s gaining momentum but they’ve presumably invested a lot in the back-scatter machines, and the enhanced pat-downs are a way of making people opt for the scan, so they clearly want everyone through to go through the scanners. Plus it’s a huge loss of face if they do change the process, and I can’t seem them being happy with it. So which is more likely: TSA softens its approach, or people eventually get used to it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-have-fun-with-the-tsa-this-holiday-season/561600.md?page=4)