# Let's Help Trump Raise Some Money **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 23, 2016, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121 "2016-06-23T06:59:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/1 "2016-06-23T06:59:26Z")
Since Trump has less money in the campaign bank than a lot of California congressional candidates, he needs some good fund raising ideas. The traditional donors seem to be telling him to get lost. So here are two. 1. Have a telethon, where for every $50K donated Trump agrees to sing “If I were a rich man.” $100K, he sings it twice. $150, thrice. etc. 2. Have Mel Brooks write a new musical, done in colonial dress. The hero decides that he can make a lot of money by running for president, getting lots of donations, not spending very much, and then losing big. But irony of irony, he wins the nomination and now faces having to spend it all and more on the election. We can call it Scamilton. Any more. (Mods, feel free to move if this is too jovial for Elections.) ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/2 "2016-06-23T07:04:50Z")
Groin Kicking Booth. Donate $100, you get to kick Trump in the groin. For $500 you can wear golf shoes. For a grand, baseball spikes. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/3 "2016-06-23T07:16:13Z")
Kissing booth with Ivanka as the pucker-partner? ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/4 "2016-06-23T10:24:58Z")
I think this will do better in The BBQ Pit. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/5 "2016-06-23T11:16:33Z")
What if I simply donated money to one of Trump’s favorite charities? Whad’ya mean he dosen’t have any favorite charities? ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/6 "2016-06-23T12:49:01Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > Kissing booth with Ivanka as the pucker-partner? Can I wear a Donald mask while I’m kissing her? ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/7 "2016-06-23T13:09:31Z")
Trump Circus Peanuts Trump Urinal Cakes ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/8 "2016-06-23T13:46:48Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > Trump Circus Peanuts > Trump Urinal Cakes But caveat emptor: they’re both orange, and taste about the same. “But don’t worry, we’re gonna have huuuuge warnings! In only the best fonts.” ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/9 "2016-06-23T14:21:06Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > Kissing booth with Ivanka as the pucker-partner? Pimp that daughter out. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/10 "2016-06-23T14:24:33Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > What if I simply donated money to one of Trump’s favorite charities? > Whad’ya mean he dosen’t have any favorite charities? What about Territorial Recovery Under Monetary Policies? I understand it’s sort of like Robin Hood… Only in reverse. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/11 "2016-06-23T14:29:02Z")
I’m reminded of the SNL sketch, way back when, about Ross Perot raising money for his bid for the presidency. I don’t remember all the details, but it was something like him holding a rally and people get all riled up, some guy writing him a check, then dead-pan into the camera: Wait a minuted-- I just gave money to a billionaire… ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/12 "2016-06-23T15:12:15Z")
Why can’t Trump just get Mexico to finance his political campaign? ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/13 "2016-06-23T15:15:20Z")
I’d gladly promise him $50,000 to redo my kitchen, provided I could pay him the same way he paid his contractors. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/14 "2016-06-23T15:26:24Z")
> [@andros](#): > > Can I wear a Donald mask while I’m kissing her? Wear a Sanders mask. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/15 "2016-06-23T16:47:53Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Wear a Sanders mask. Wear a Hillary mask. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/16 "2016-06-23T16:54:29Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > Trump Urinal Cakes With his picture on them. I guarantee, they’d get lots of use. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/17 "2016-06-23T16:54:46Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Since Trump has less money in the campaign bank than a lot of California congressional candidates, he needs some good fund raising ideas. The traditional donors seem to be telling him to get lost. So here are two. > > 1. Have a telethon, where for every $50K donated Trump agrees to sing “If I were a rich man.” $100K, he sings it twice. $150, thrice. etc. Only if he sings it in Yiddish. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/18 "2016-06-23T17:23:40Z")
Make Mexico pay for his campaign! ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/19 "2016-06-23T17:29:36Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Why can’t Trump just get Mexico to finance his political campaign? > [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Make Mexico pay for his campaign! Guys, girls, and promoters of redundancy: Mexico’s finances are all committed to some massive construction project along the border. They don’t have so much as a spare peso any more. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2016, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121/20 "2016-06-23T17:31:43Z")
I’d happily participate in a televised fundraiser for The Donald. The way it would work is, you pledge $5000 and in return you get to hurl insults at him on national television, and he only gets the money if he stays nice and quiet for five full minutes and smiles the whole time. You can use any insults you like, but “short-fingered vulgarian” must be mentioned at least once. If he passes and is still smiling after five minutes, you get to make him a “deal”. You spin a wheel that has varying amounts between $0 and $50, and that’s all he gets, because you are a Deal Maker and he is a Loser. The wheel will also have a position marked “Bankrupt”, which requires The Donald to give up everything he’s earned in the game so far, and the player is required to declare “Huzzah! Another _ **brilliant** _ bankruptcy!” while giving The Donald a swift kick in the ass. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-help-trump-raise-some-money/758121.md?page=2)