# Let's Hide Parade Magazine **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 21, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-hide-parade-magazine/533258 "2010-03-21T18:44:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-hide-parade-magazine/533258/41 "2010-03-22T17:56:18Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > You forgot > > - Loretta crashes the car and come in with the steering wheel > - Leroy is a loser who makes almost no money > > There, that brings it up to 98% of the strips Good call. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-hide-parade-magazine/533258/42 "2010-03-22T23:48:15Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Part of my letter to the Tribune noted that there are six so-called jokes which account for 90% of “The Lockhorns”: > > - Leroy gets drunk > - Leroy likes to flirt with pretty girls (who are all apparently 2 feet taller than he is) > - Leroy is lazy > - Loretta cannot sing (and is a poor piano player, as well) > - Loretta is a poor cook > - Loretta shops too much Substitute “Andy Capp” for “Leroy” and you had about 95% of _that_ strip. ---
**Author:** ![gazpacho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@gazpacho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gazpacho)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-hide-parade-magazine/533258/43 "2010-03-23T00:02:23Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Substitute “Andy Capp” for “Leroy” and you had about 95% of _that_ strip. You really feel that Loretta and Leroy hate each other and find little or no joy in life and haven’t for years and years. The Lockhorns really impart a feeling of soul crushing misery that Andy Capp does not. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-hide-parade-magazine/533258/44 "2010-03-23T01:13:29Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > The great Larry Miller. “It was a goat!” ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-hide-parade-magazine/533258/45 "2010-03-23T01:26:46Z")
> [@gazpacho](#): > > You really feel that Loretta and Leroy hate each other and find little or no joy in life and haven’t for years and years. The Lockhorns really impart a feeling of soul crushing misery that Andy Capp does not. That’s my impression of the comic, too. I’ve never seen it as a comic to be “followed”, though- just an (allegedly) amusing “one-off” that occupies some space in the paper and makes older people smile whimsically when they come across it occasionally. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-hide-parade-magazine/533258/46 "2010-03-23T08:11:09Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Part of my letter to the Tribune noted that there are six so-called jokes which account for 90% of “The Lockhorns”: > > - Leroy gets drunk > - Leroy likes to flirt with pretty girls (who are all apparently 2 feet taller than he is) > - Leroy is lazy > - Loretta cannot sing (and is a poor piano player, as well) > - Loretta is a poor cook > - Loretta shops too much > [@Voyager](#): > > You forgot > > - Loretta crashes the car and come in with the steering wheel > - Leroy is a loser who makes almost no money > > There, that brings it up to 98% of the strips > > As to the OP, consider yourself lucky. Parade is the New Yorker compared to USA Weekend, which is what I’m stuck with. I’ve got to mine the pile of ads for the coupons as well as the comics and magazine, and in any case considering the state of newspapers today I’m happy to see some ads. You both forgot that - Loretta is ugly with a capital Ug, no matter how much time and money she spends in beauty parlors/on beauty products > [@gazpacho](#): > > You really feel that Loretta and Leroy hate each other and find little or no joy in life and haven’t for years and years. The Lockhorns really impart a feeling of soul crushing misery that Andy Capp does not. It’s been years since I’ve read Andy Capp, but I always got the impression that he and his missus did actually care for each other, even though they fought a lot. On the other hand, I always felt that the Lockhorns were a prime example of why no-fault divorce is a GOOD thing. Loretta is clearly ambitious, and if she’d gone into business instead of being stuck as a housewife (and since she’s stuck in middle age in the 1960s, she doesn’t have much of a choice) she might have been moderately successful. Leroy, on the other hand, is a party animal. He might have been perfectly happy to remain a bachelor, and flirt with young girls all his life, and stay in a dead end job with no hope of promotion. As long as he can get his drunk on, he’s happy, with or without the flirting. And this sort of loveless marriage was pretty common before no-fault divorce. ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-hide-parade-magazine/533258/47 "2010-03-23T15:28:47Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Actually, the way the Sunday paper is assembled is not to screw around with you, it is done that way for very practical reasons. > > The Sunday edition of most papers is actually printed over a period of several days, often in three main sections. First to be printed are features like comics, Parade, Style and Food, and coupons. These are all things that can be locked in early in the week… Dude, I’ve been reading the Sunday paper for over 50 years. I know how it works. It’s only lately that they have decided to purposely make it difficult for readers to find popular sections by putting them in the midst of the ad inserts, or by wrapping the funnies in ads, or using other annoying tricks. ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-hide-parade-magazine/533258/48 "2010-03-23T15:31:35Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > Oh, man…Now I can’t make fun of **Dan Blather** for being the type of guy that could get a beat down from Andy Rooney. > > Screw it, I’ll risk it. > > "Did you ever notice people complain about the most benign things, nowadays… > P.S. **Dan** , I’m just fucking with you for the weak pit thread. Take it for what it is. Also, congrats on your tenth patent. 🙂 The 11th one is going to be a Parade finder and number 12 will be a way to keep kids off my lawn. To think I used to be avant garde. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-hide-parade-magazine/533258/49 "2010-03-23T15:33:18Z")
[Beats how newspapers were arranged in the past](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=545858). ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-hide-parade-magazine/533258/50 "2010-03-23T18:27:20Z")
> [@gazpacho](#): > > You really feel that Loretta and Leroy hate each other and find little or no joy in life and haven’t for years and years. The Lockhorns really impart a feeling of soul crushing misery that Andy Capp does not. That’s what gets me about the Lockhorns. Semi-dysfunctional marriages are a staple of comedy, but for the comedy to work (Edith and Archie, Homer and Marge, Fred and Wilma) there has to be an underlying feeling that the spouses care about each other and fight because of personality quirks or misunderstanding. Whereas Leroy and Loretta just flat-out hate each other, and stay married because . . . well, I guess because respectable people didn’t get divorced when the strip was created. But now they do, and it isn’t funny any more. ---
**Author:** ![fiddlesticks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddlesticks/32/18129_2.png) [@fiddlesticks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fiddlesticks)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-hide-parade-magazine/533258/51 "2010-03-23T19:32:09Z")
The couple in the _[Bliss](http://www.gocomics.com/bliss/)_ strip (or panel) hate each other, but do it in a much more fresh and interesting way than the Lockhorns. Plus they have a cute doggie. ---
**Author:** ![brix11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c37758/32.png) [@brix11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brix11)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-hide-parade-magazine/533258/52 "2010-03-24T14:59:04Z")
Does anyone else find Parade to be the perfect bathroom-reading material? To me, that’s why it’s so frustrating to have to dig for it…I gotta go, damnit! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-hide-parade-magazine/533258.md?page=2)