# Let's make a modern pantheon of gods **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [October 25, 2024, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179 "2024-10-25T00:40:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/1 "2024-10-25T00:40:16Z")
Ancient pantheons of gods represented those forces that were important to the lives of their devotees but beyond their control: rain, fertility, health, love, death and so on. Back when my better half and I lived in an apartment building, we would hope for an open washer and/or dryer when we would go down to the building laundry room to do our laundry. Eventually we would “pray to the almighty **Laundra** ” that machines would be available and in-service. A similar dynamic happened when driving to different parts of the city — “praying” to the god **Aspacia** that we could find a parking spot. This got extended a bit by me cursing **Dora** the mischevious sprite (not a god per se), for everytime my car door would fail to stay open when I had just opened it when getting out of my car or other door locking, sticking, and closing phenomena. It struck me that Dopers were a wonderful blend of nerdy, scholarly, humorous, and imaginative types that could really come up with a bunch of wonderful and amusing “gods.” And what is a religion anyway but the result of the contributions of people of a society adding to folk traditions. So while the classic gods of sun, storm, war, love, harvest, etc. are reasonably relevant to todays society, what about specific uniquely modern myriad forces beyond our control? Are there a god of internet connectivity? A goddess of annoying cow-orkers? Anybody want in on this? * * * Caveat: It should go without saying that I am not advocating actual devotion to yet another religion based on make-believe fantasies of people who don’t know any better. Which is all of them. Except for the one _you_ happen to follow. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/2 "2024-10-25T00:56:13Z")
**OG** , once _God Of Cavemen_, can now be _God of NASCAR and tailgating_. The sloped brows are similar… ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/3 "2024-10-25T00:58:48Z")
I refer you to “Small Gods” – one of the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett. In it, he alludes to the creation of gods … for example, the god _‘Bilious’_ – the god of hangovers, called into being when someone suffering from an overserving of wine cried out to the gods to relieve him of his misery. The gods remain in existence so long as someone believes in them, and their power and influence is directly related to the number and faith of their believers. Incidentally, on the Discworld demons are _also_ gods, as a thousand believers cursing you as an evil djinn has the same effect as a thousand people singing psalms in your honor – and perhaps even more, as fear tends to be a more powerful motivator than love. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/4 "2024-10-25T01:03:54Z")
Murphy, the God of invoked bad luck. Babe Ruth, Demi-God of baseball. ---
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/5 "2024-10-25T01:26:56Z")
Catalyeseus The god of vehicle exhaust and emissions testing. Currently have candles lit in hopes of keeping old car alive another year. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/6 "2024-10-25T01:29:16Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > Babe Ruth, Demi-God of baseball. We could have a lot of these. Michael Jordan, Demi-God of basketball. ---
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/7 "2024-10-25T01:49:22Z")
Nutti Bonne Bonne goddess of munchies ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/8 "2024-10-25T01:50:46Z")
Jockeius and Equinia. Hey, I’d pray to them if I was having a bad day at the horse racetrack. ---
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/9 "2024-10-25T01:53:54Z")
Glitznu goddess of all things bling ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/10 "2024-10-25T01:55:02Z")
Tik and Tok. Gods of social media. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/11 "2024-10-25T02:00:14Z")
Peter, the god of inevitable business failure. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/12 "2024-10-25T03:25:12Z")
What about Elevetra? I’m really getting tired of living in a 5th floor walk-up. (Building in Beijing are not required to have elevators unless they have more than six floors.) ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/13 "2024-10-25T04:23:21Z")
**Sredni Vashtar** , the god of being allowed to enjoy one’s morning toast (and by extension, one’s coffee) in peace… no matter the cost ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/14 "2024-10-25T04:30:21Z")
Nice reference! I don’t have a name for him, but whenever I drop food on the floor while making supper, I say that the kitchen god was hungry. He is particularly fond of raw onion ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/15 "2024-10-25T04:32:56Z")
A humungous cat with a piece of buttered toast tied to it’s back would be the god of Perpetual Motion. ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/16 "2024-10-25T05:23:37Z")
Pray to **Sluicia** when you’ve visited the lavatory in your new in-laws house. Lighting a scented candle in her honour is part of the ritual. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/17 "2024-10-25T12:57:22Z")
Technologica Goddess of all things technological, including televisions, phones, computers, info kiosks, websites, etc… She’s who you pray to when you reboot it and hope everything’s right after the reboot. Or beforehand, if you’re powering down something with hard drives and you’re hoping you don’t lose a significant or painful number of drives. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/18 "2024-10-25T16:05:28Z")
> [@bump](#): > > Goddess of all things technological, including televisions, phones, computers, info kiosks, websites, etc… Considering the wide variety and widespread use of technical things, I think we’ll need more than one goddess for them all. How about **Laptopia** for PCs and **Palmtopia** for smartphones as a starter set. ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/19 "2024-10-25T16:13:15Z")
I thought the god of smartphones was Nokia. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179/20 "2024-10-25T16:53:17Z")
> [@Tatterdemalion](#): > > I thought the god of smartphones was Nokia Could be, could be. Or maybe we just have a patron saint of smartphones: Steve Jobs. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-a-modern-pantheon-of-gods/1009179.md?page=2)