# Let's Make Romney Into A "Regular" Guy **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 28, 2012, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952 "2012-08-28T18:32:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2012, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/61 "2012-08-29T17:15:00Z")
He only has one wife. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2012, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/62 "2012-08-30T03:10:08Z")
Once, during a crazy night in college, he tried coffee. He puts his silk, religiously prescribed, undergarments on one leg at a time like everyone else. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2012, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/63 "2012-08-30T04:43:45Z")
> [@](#): > > …He puts his silk, religiously prescribed, undergarments… Are they all silk, or are there Wal Mart Mormons and Bloomie’s Mormons? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2012, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/64 "2012-08-30T05:35:23Z")
> [@F.U.Shakespeare](#): > > During Jerry Brown’s first time as governor in the 1970’s, National Lampoon’s fake news announced that Brown was embarking on a campaign to make people think he was a “real man”. Items included:… [Fucking Linda Ronstadt in her prime](http://fashionfoodfeminism.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/lr21.jpg) for the win! > [@elucidator](#): > > Are they all silk, or are there Wal Mart Mormons and Bloomie’s Mormons? Those are Bloomie’s Bloomers. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2012, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/65 "2012-08-30T06:19:15Z")
His internal system clock runs at a regular 200 MHz. But they crank it up to 250 when they program in enthusiasm. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2012, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/66 "2012-08-30T14:22:29Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Well Mitt could… > > Smoke some fags and play some pool, > pretend you never went to school. > But still you’ll never get it right, > cos when you’re laid in bed at night, > watching roaches climb the wall, > if you call your Dad he could stop it all. > > You’ll never live like common people, > you’ll never do what common people do, > you’ll never fail like common people, > you’ll never watch your life slide out of view, > and dance and drink and screw, > because there’s nothing else to do. Love the [Shatner version.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ainyK6fXku0) ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/67 "2012-08-30T14:53:45Z")
Mitt would like to know how everyone’s fantasy football drafts came out. He is thinking of entering his own football league with his buddies Bob Kraft, Dan Snyder, and Jerry Jones. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2012, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/68 "2012-08-30T15:17:29Z")
> [@Measure\_for\_Measure](#): > > Heck, Romney’s fear of improvisation and machine-like speeches match perfectly with the phony attacks on Obama’s alleged dependence on the teleprompter. Ah. The underlined part helps explain something I saw on TV this week: Mrs. Romney giving a speech. My first thought was “my God, does she have Botox for breakfast?” and the gestures were so over-restrained (not like someone who doesn’t make big gestures, but like someone who’s carefully measuring every movement) she looked more like an automaton than like someone making a speech. I’d thought the movements thing was her way to manifest nerves, but I guess I’ll have to look for a speech of Mr. Romney’s and see if he moves the same stilted way. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/69 "2012-08-30T16:02:58Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Are they all silk, or are there Wal Mart Mormons and Bloomie’s Mormons? Silk-y, not silk. You can choose between 4 or 5 materials, e.g. polyester, 50/50 blend, 100% cotton. Most people just buy them from the church but you can sew your own if you really want: [http://store.lds.org/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Category3\_715839595\_10557\_21152\_-1\_Y\_image\_0](http://store.lds.org/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Category3_715839595_10557_21152_-1_Y_image_0) Although, Mitt certainly has the scratch to have his made bespoke out of silk. Or the skin of poor people. I don’t know what rich guys are into these days. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2012, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/70 "2012-08-30T17:13:54Z")
> [@Erdosain](#): > > Silk-y, not silk. You can choose between 4 or 5 materials, e.g. polyester, 50/50 blend, 100% cotton. Most people just buy them from the church but you can sew your own if you really want: [http://store.lds.org/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Category3\_715839595\_10557\_21152\_-1\_Y\_image\_0](http://store.lds.org/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Category3_715839595_10557_21152_-1_Y_image_0) I can’t find the underwear, I think I have to give them my email address first and theres no way in hell that will happen. The [baptism suit](http://store.lds.org/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Product3_715839595_10557_21034_-1__3074457345616887720) looks like a creepy painters smock. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2012, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/71 "2012-08-30T17:45:18Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > I can’t find the underwear, I think I have to give them my email address first and theres no way in hell that will happen. > > The [baptism suit](http://store.lds.org/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Product3_715839595_10557_21034_-1__3074457345616887720) looks like a creepy painters smock. No, non-Mormons can’t look at the underwear or Temple clothing at all. You have to have your personalized super secret code. (I can’t browse the underwear either.) At 10% of your income, it’s not worth it. I linked to it because that’s where Mormons do buy their underwear and I thought that even the Internet store front was super creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/72 "2012-08-30T18:01:12Z")
> [@Erdosain](#): > > No, non-Mormons can’t look at the underwear or Temple clothing at all. You have to have your personalized super secret code. (I can’t browse the underwear either.) At 10% of your income, it’s not worth it. > > I linked to it because that’s where Mormons do buy their underwear and I thought that even the Internet store front was super creepy. [They’re pretty hot](http://1857massacre.com/MMM/mormon_underwear.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/73 "2012-08-31T15:26:01Z")
When Mitt was younger, he got a sports injury, just like you! He strained his shoulder waving to his groom for a fresh polo pony. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/74 "2012-08-31T23:20:36Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Ah. The underlined part helps explain something I saw on TV this week: Mrs. Romney giving a speech. My first thought was “my God, does she have Botox for breakfast?” and the gestures were so over-restrained (not like someone who doesn’t make big gestures, but like someone who’s carefully measuring every movement) she looked more like an automaton than like someone making a speech. I’d thought the movements thing was her way to manifest nerves, but I guess I’ll have to look for a speech of Mr. Romney’s and see if he moves the same stilted way. Checked. Romney makes his wife look like an Italian mamma mid-rant by comparison… So, a contribution: When Romney gets really, really angry, he moves a hand. Only one, moving both simultaneously might be dangerous. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/75 "2012-09-01T00:55:22Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > You _might_ have a shot a Jimmy Kimmel. No way – _he’s_ fucking Ben Affleck. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/76 "2012-09-01T00:58:32Z")
Man, that Jennifer Lopez really knows how to leave a smoking trail of shattered hearts in her wake, doesn’t she? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/77 "2012-09-01T03:22:31Z")
She never calls, never writes. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952/78 "2012-09-01T03:51:14Z")
> [@leftfield6](#): > > Love the [Shatner version.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ainyK6fXku0) There are other versions? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-romney-into-a-regular-guy/632952.md?page=3)