# Let's make up absurd names for SUVs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 24, 2004, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985 "2004-02-24T21:54:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![moejuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@moejuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejuck)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2004, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/21 "2004-02-25T17:25:19Z")
So, it seems that we are saying that SUV’s are large and annoying… The Chevy J-Lo Booty Suburban The Cadillac Rush Limbaugh The Lincoln Randy Jackson Navigator The Ford Star Jones Explorer and so on… ---
**Author:** ![Monkeytoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Monkeytoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monkeytoes)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/22 "2004-02-25T17:36:02Z")
'Round our place, we call 'em **Ford Exploiters**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/23 "2004-02-25T17:41:02Z")
the Jeep Juggernaut the Cadillac Royale (if you’re shopping for a Cadillac SUV, you’ve officially got too much money.) the Dodge Ball 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/24 "2004-02-25T18:11:47Z")
\*\*The Subaru BreakBack The Volkswagen UuberSchweinstukkerAutoBahnHoggenStrecker The Ford Leviathan The Ford Leviathan XL The Ford Leviathan GXL The Aston-Martin Steely Dan 😉 The Macro-Cooper, with a 32 valve DUHC The DeLorean Snootfull The Chevy Largesse The Chevy Noblesse Oblige The Chevy GirlMagnet BMW’s All-New Bavarian Diesel-Stoker The Lincoln Abraham, with Polycarbonate Headrests. :eek: The H-4, by Freuhauf The Dodge Pythagorus The Dodge Boudoir ( available only with tinted windows ) The Dodge Prostate- larger, longer, firmer ride than ever before… The Saturn U.S.S. Enterprise ( god knows, this one’ll sell, sell, sell ) The Lexus John Holmes Deluxe Edition And, as a nod to what I drive… The Nissan Inquest. :D\*\* Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Walkabout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/46a35a/32.png) [@Walkabout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walkabout)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2004, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/25 "2004-02-25T18:12:48Z")
> [@Enola Straight](#): > > Land Rover Contempt XL > > Dodge This! I love that one. How about the Mercury Mountain? ---
**Author:** ![Winnie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e480ec/32.png) [@Winnie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnie)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2004, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/26 "2004-02-25T18:16:19Z")
> [@Yamirskoonir](#): > > Instead of the Ford “Explorer,” I call it the **Exploder**. > > Because of the Firestone tires, don’tcha know. 😃 Years ago, I used to work in the service department of a Ford dealership here in DC and we called them **Exploders** because it truly seemed like every Explorer that came in for service was on the verge of exploding. I think almost 75% of the vehicles that came in for service were Explorers. About 20% were the short-lived Aspire, which we happily called the **Expire**. ---
**Author:** ![Chicago\_Faucet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chicago_faucet/32/13910_2.png) [@Chicago\_Faucet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicago_Faucet)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/27 "2004-02-25T18:54:21Z")
Hey, I would buy a Honda Particle in a moment. With a name like that, it’s gotta be hip. My wife claims that the Astec, that really ugly SUV, is what a hippopatamus would look like if it evolved wheels. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2004, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/28 "2004-02-25T19:20:58Z")
I like the nic Neal Stevenson came up with in “Snow Crash” - “Bimbo Boxes”. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/29 "2004-02-25T19:21:59Z")
Dodge Juggernaut Chevy Entitlement ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2004, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/30 "2004-02-25T19:41:11Z")
The Ford Excess ---
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2004, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/31 "2004-02-25T19:45:12Z")
Lincoln Continent Saturn Destroyer-of-Worlds GMC Dyson Sphere Hauler Ford Light Year Isuzu Megaparsec Chevrolet Universe and finally the Lexus AEO (All Encompassing Object) ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2004, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/32 "2004-02-25T22:25:48Z")
Ford Exhauster GMC Pi SS Chevy Super Colon Ford Ranchette ---
**Author:** ![Mastema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@Mastema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mastema)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2004, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/33 "2004-02-25T23:24:20Z")
This could possibly be another thread entirely, but are there SUV’s that seem less annoying than others? I personally drive a Jeep Cherokee (and yes I take it off road, and yes I tow things), and I still feel like I’m driving through the valley of the shadow of death when sandwiched between Expeditions or Excursions, but I don’t feel particularly offended by, say, a GMC Scout, which actually has some off-road potential. For me, the ultimate in offensive SUV’s list reads thusly: [ol] [li]Hummer H2[/li][li]Cadillac Escalade[/li][li]Lincoln Navigator[/li][li]Ford Excursion[/li][li]Ford Expedition[/li][/ol] What are your thoughts? ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2004, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/34 "2004-02-25T23:43:44Z")
**The Crushinator** Some Doper who posted this in a similar thread a year or two gets credit, but I’m too lazy to look it up: **Rolls-Over Royce** ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2004, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/35 "2004-02-25T23:45:05Z")
> [@Mastema](#): > > This could possibly be another thread entirely, but are there > For me, the ultimate in offensive SUV’s list reads thusly: > > [ol] > [li]Hummer H2[/li][li]Cadillac Escalade[/li][li]Lincoln Navigator[/li][li]Ford Excursion[/li][li]Ford Expedition[/li][/ol] > > What are your thoughts? I would substitute the Chevy Suburban for the Expedition. Anything with a stinking diesel engine knocks any of them off the list. And hey, let’s not forget the monster pickups on the road with the dual wheels in back. My brother has a huge truck with four doors, a full-sized bed, a towing package front _and_ rear, and a Big Foot cabover camper. The goddamn thing is a block long! ---
**Author:** ![wakimika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f08c70/32.png) [@wakimika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wakimika)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/36 "2004-02-26T00:27:29Z")
I like to play on real names: **Toyota Land Raper** **Porsche Cayntfitinthegaraga** **Lincoln Naval Blockade** ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_Samaritan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bad\_Samaritan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_Samaritan)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/37 "2004-02-26T02:31:00Z")
GMC Yukon Valdez Dodge Blimpie Cadillac Land Yacht Ford Flamethrower Lincoln Factorial Hummer Roadtrain Chevy NeoCon, Big Oil Edition Hyundai Percheron Bring back the Ford Family Truckster! ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/38 "2004-02-26T02:57:06Z")
> [@Winnie](#): > > About 20% were the short-lived Aspire, which we happily called the **Expire**. Hey! Don’t be dissin’ my car! I’ve owned two of those little golf carts. The first one had gas mileage in the high 40s and passed my, erm, privately conducted crash test, which is why I bought the second one – which has 8 years and 170K miles on it and is showing no signs of stopping. Sure it doesn’t have a lot of poop, but it has served us well. That said, I did enjoy the automotive review that said the Aspire “aspires to be a real car.” ---
**Author:** ![Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raymond_luxury_yacht/32/4099_2.png) [@Raymond\_Luxury\_Yacht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raymond_Luxury_Yacht)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/39 "2004-02-26T07:53:36Z")
The Pontiac Pachyderm My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiat ---
**Author:** ![Thirty-Nine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f0a364/32.png) [@Thirty-Nine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thirty-Nine)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2004, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985/40 "2004-02-26T21:26:07Z")
Saturn Sandcrawler Dodge Death Star Ford Fortress Volkswagen Panzer Nissan Exponential Chevy Critical Mass GMC Globalist [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-absurd-names-for-suvs/230985.md?page=3)