# Let's make up Biblical quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 3, 2016, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060 "2016-02-03T16:25:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2016, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/21 "2016-02-04T14:01:06Z")
> [@Totenfeier](#): > > In my _very_ humble opinion, you have already won the thread. … And the people spoke. “Amen”. And it was good. -Clowns 13:69 ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/22 "2016-02-05T22:42:29Z")
When hanging the bundled leaves that cleanse thine nethers Care be given to thine dwelling’s creatures of clawed foot For over and beyond shallt thou hang it Else bearance of shame of unravelled comforts shalt thou face - Provisions 3:17 ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/23 "2016-02-05T22:59:46Z")
Thusly spake the LORD to the holy child: “Verily in thine waxen script am I pleased, For I see thine dwelling For I see thine cloud For I see thine animals In joy do I hang thine script on the root cellar door With lodestone do I afix it” -Homeworks 4:23 (couldn’t resist another one…) ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/24 "2016-02-05T23:16:41Z")
Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff. I think it’s the eleventh commandment. Not mine, but I don’t know to whom to give the credit. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2016, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/25 "2016-02-05T23:37:43Z")
Beyond the gates and among the pastures do I strive for my daily bread; yea, I do toil like the oxen for my sustenance. Yet I need not fight to shew mine truth to others, nor do I seek the forgiveness of man. Weep not, then, let not thine eye be raised to the heavens, for it is but the wilderness of youth. The Book of Daltrey, Chapter 5 Verse 15 ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/26 "2016-02-06T03:26:00Z")
I roused me in a wine-shop doorway, yet the watchman knew my name. Spake he, “Slumber abed this night, if thou canst raise thee from thy shame”. Who art thou, O, tell me who thou art. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/27 "2016-02-06T05:49:37Z")
Archaic: **James 5:16** Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Modernized: **Jerry 5:16** Therefore confess your sins to each other on my syndicated talk show and betray each other so that your crassness may be revealed. The payer of TV ads is powerful and infective. ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/28 "2016-02-06T17:58:14Z")
And the lions shall lie with the lambs and the forsaken lambs shall covet the oxen. And whosoever may doubt the wisdom of the concerned lawyers of the lions, lambs and oxen shall be assured that the prenuptial agreements of the thrice named shall be voided and cast unto Hell. Book of Calculus - 17:21 after two quarters. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/29 "2016-02-06T18:38:38Z")
When playing cards, or board games, I often remind people: “Trusteth not thine opponent, for he bears false witness.” ---
**Author:** ![GreenElf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@GreenElf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenElf)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/30 "2016-02-07T04:01:19Z")
“Be fruitloops, and multiply by 42, thenceforth divide by pi.” - Boomshakalaka 22:20 ---
**Author:** ![Toxgoddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Toxgoddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxgoddess)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/31 "2016-02-07T04:41:20Z")
Thou must consume all of the meats and grains set before thee, else thou may not partake of the honeyed fruits. Mothers 19:63 ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/32 "2016-02-07T04:48:20Z")
And thou shall enter the Holy Land bypassing New Jersey entirely. Dalmatians 4:33 ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/33 "2016-02-07T04:57:37Z")
I wasn’t going to use it but one I remember from hearing it back when I was a little kid: The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away Which seems to maketh the Lord an Indian-giver Forget where it was originally from. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/34 "2016-02-07T15:12:01Z")
Ask not for whom the bell tolls - unless ye haveth a hearing aid. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/35 "2016-02-07T15:13:03Z")
> [@Toxgoddess](#): > > Thou must consume all of the meats and grains set before thee, else thou may not partake of the honeyed fruits. > > Mothers 19:63 LOL! Good one! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/36 "2016-02-07T15:16:32Z")
> [@MacSpon](#): > > I’ve always found it hard to top Proverbs 26 v18-19: > > Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death > is one who deceives their neighbor and says, “I was only joking!” But, what if the truth happened to be they were only joking? What then? Forsooth! ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/37 "2016-02-07T15:17:45Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > Song of Songs 9:1-2 > > [sup]1[/sup]I liketh large back parts, truth be with ye. You who are my brothers, I say this unto you. > [sup]2[/sup]She who cometh in health with her glory round about her, she is beloved. You do? Well … I liketh large black parts - especially those on the chests of large black women! ---
**Author:** ![WildBlueYonder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WildBlueYonder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildBlueYonder)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2016, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/38 "2016-02-08T20:11:13Z")
Jesus Slept, so what? Or was that Jesus Wept? If so, so what! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2016, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/39 "2016-02-08T23:22:22Z")
Skywalker 2:3-7 And all went to be taxed, everyone unto his own City. And the people lamented crying “Where is the Tea Party that shall deliver us from this unjust burden?” And Joseph went unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem. And he sought knowledge of accommodation through the words of TripAdvisor. And Mary his wife was great with child. Which displeased Joseph, for he had not known her. And he was troubled by this and sought to speak with a Wise Man whose name was Springer. And so it was while they were there that she should be delivered. Yet this too troubled Joseph, for medical insurance had he not. And she brought forth her first-born son and laid him in a manger, because there was no room at the Inn. And Joseph spake harshly to the Inn-keeper, saying “I shall write a bad review and this shall haunt ye, yea even unto the tenth generation. No hen parties shall ever cross your threshold, nor any convention. Instead they shall all travel into the desert, to the city known as Vegas.” ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2016, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060/40 "2016-02-09T01:06:05Z")
> [@Toxgoddess](#): > > Thou must consume all of the meats and grains set before thee, else thou may not partake of the honeyed fruits. > > Mothers 19:63 "Do not wear the Undergaments of Uncleanliness, in case one should be stricken by the Omnibus of Fate and taken, yeah verily, to the Healing House’. Mothers 19:72 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-biblical-quotes/745060.md?page=3)