# Let's make up first drafts of famous lines **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 3, 2016, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786 "2016-05-03T16:52:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Totenfeier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@Totenfeier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totenfeier)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/341 "2016-05-19T15:07:20Z")
from Rudolph the Red-\*\*\*\*\*\*\* Reindeer (Censored Version): Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*: Rudolph with your \*\*\*\*\*\* so \*\*\*\*\*\*\*, Won’t you \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* my \*\*\*\*\*\*\* tonight! ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/342 "2016-05-19T15:12:06Z")
> [@Totenfeier](#): > > Then one foggy Christmas Eve > Santa came to \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*: > Rudolph with your \*\*\*\*\*\* so \*\*\*\*\*\*\*, > Won’t you \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* my \*\*\*\*\*\*\* tonight! Been watching [Unnecessary Censorship](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YMgW51craQ)? ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/343 "2016-05-19T15:17:38Z")
Happy fami!ies are all alike. Unhappy families are pretty much all alike too. So, really, there’s no point in telling this story, since you’ve probably heard it before. ---
**Author:** ![Totenfeier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@Totenfeier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totenfeier)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/344 "2016-05-19T15:52:50Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Been watching [Unnecessary Censorship](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YMgW51craQ)? Nope. My own idea, from a waaay back. It’s nice to know Kimmel thinks like me, though. I’ll watch later. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2016, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/345 "2016-05-19T16:20:51Z")
> [@Totenfeier](#): > > Nope. My own idea, from a waaay back. It’s nice to know Kimmel thinks like me, though. I’ll watch later. Cool. The problem now, of course, is that I’ll spend the rest of the thread riffing on this. “We shall f\*\*\* on the beaches, we shall f\*\*\* on the landing grounds, we shall f\*\*\* in the fields and in the streets, we shall f\*\*\* in the hills…” ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2016, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/346 "2016-05-20T16:41:40Z")
Dr. Grant: Tim. Tim, can you tell me what they are? Tim: They’re, Gal… uh… uh, Galli… uh, Gallimimus. Lex: Are those… meat-eating… uh, meatasauruses? Dr. Grant: The wheel uniform changes just like a flock of birds evading a predator. Tim: They’re, uh… they’re coming towards us. I see dead people, quite a lot. My name’s Mr. Bond. I could’ve been a good fighter, I might even have had a chance at the title. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/347 "2016-05-23T02:12:45Z")
We love you Conrad, oh yes we do; We love you Conrad, and we’ll be dependable. One singular sensation, every step she takes; One thrilling combination every move that she does. When the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars Then peace will guide the planets and love will steer the sun. I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty, and witty and gay, And I pity any girl who isn’t me right now. L’amour est enfant de bohème; il n’a jamais, jamais, connu de loi. Si vous ne m’aimes pas, je vous aime, et si je vous aime, prends garde à vous! ---
**Author:** ![drad\_dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/348 "2016-05-23T04:52:41Z")
Glucose Aww, Syrup Syrup You are my sweetener girl And you have me craving you ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/349 "2016-05-23T08:20:14Z")
I’m the Juggernaut, madam, pleased to make your acquaintance. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/350 "2016-05-23T13:21:43Z")
Mmmmmmm…Margi’s tits ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/351 "2016-05-23T13:39:26Z")
“My name is Buck, and I’m pleased to make your acquaintance.” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/352 "2016-05-23T14:21:39Z")
> [@SykoSkotty](#): > > “A census taker tried to test me once…once.” 😃 There’s something horribly wonderful about the idea of Joe Piscopo as Hannibal Lecter. “Alas, poor Yorick - hey look, I can make his jaw move, Horatio! ‘La la la I’m Yorick the skullboy!’” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/353 "2016-05-23T14:31:48Z")
I want it bareheaded bald, barren depilated, exposed glabrous, hairless shiny, naked, shaven, smooth, stark, uncovered like a skin head. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2016, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/354 "2016-05-23T22:14:34Z")
I am tired of these motherfucking eels on my hovercraft ! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/355 "2016-05-24T01:55:18Z")
Reporters? Outside? Sure, show them in. I may be on my deathbed, but there’s something I want to say. Hi, Sam. Hi, Lou. Good to see you. Frank! How are you? How’s your mom? Good, good. Say, boys, you know, I’m dying, but there’s something I want to get off my chest before I “slip this mortal coil,” as Shakespeare wrote. Got your pencils? Notepads? OK. So. I just want to say, and you can quote me - in fact, I hope you do - as successful as I’ve been, despite my vast business empire, despite being the idol of millions of hard-working folks who just want a fair shot at the American Dream, even after all these years, I still think back to the sled I had when I was a kid. Now, if only I could remember its name… ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/356 "2016-05-24T02:12:56Z")
“I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, pus, mucus, and the unsightly lint in my navel.” “Ask not for whom the bell tolls… Just keep your damn trap shut.” “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Uh, two.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/357 "2016-05-24T07:11:50Z")
“Flexible Flyer” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/358 "2016-05-24T07:14:23Z")
“I’m Flying Mouse Guy.” ---
**Author:** ![Totenfeier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@Totenfeier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totenfeier)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/359 "2016-05-24T11:25:28Z")
Faster that a spinning Frisbee! More powerful than a Yugo! Able to climb up tall buildings pretty quickly without falling very often! Look! Sort of in that direction over there! No - a little to the left…sort of down toward that gas station…right there! Right where I’m pointing, do you see that? Gaah! Okay, look… ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2016, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/360 "2016-05-24T17:01:05Z")
One sympathizes with the buffoon. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786.md?page=19)