# Let's make up first drafts of famous lines **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 3, 2016, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786 "2016-05-03T16:52:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/101 "2016-05-04T15:39:31Z")
Hey, Sam, how 'bout you tickle the ivories with that song you played for us in Paris, huh? That shark is pretty big, so maybe we ought to upgrade our watercraft. I suggest, gentlemen, that you aim carefully so as not to botch our execution. Thank you. (I once saw a photographic, page-by-page replica of the original MS draft of Orwell’s _1984_. The first page was almost solid ink, he wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote the book’s opening so much). ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/102 "2016-05-04T15:57:15Z")
Edicimoh! Edicimoh! ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/103 "2016-05-04T16:07:36Z")
Look, don’t try to get around it: Pay your temple offerings AND pay your taxes. There used to be nothing, then God put something in there, but it was kind of an ill defined mess. Hope that thing doesn’t blow up, John Glenn! The effects of the substances started being felt as we drove into the less inhabited parts of San Bernardino County. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/104 "2016-05-04T16:14:37Z")
I’m absolutely, l00 percent, guilty. I killed the bitch. If the glove doesn’t fit…well, you know what they say about men with big hands. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/105 "2016-05-04T16:18:30Z")
I’m rather fond of the odor of a highly flammable sticky jelly used in incendiary bombs and flamethrowers, consisting of gasoline thickened with special soaps, in the early hours of the day. ---
**Author:** ![drad\_dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@drad\_dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drad_dog)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/106 "2016-05-04T16:44:28Z")
I regret that I have to give my life for my country! Don’t shoot until we get really close. We don’t have a lot of ammunition. Give me Liberty or F off! We better stick together on this because if we don’t we will be executed! You can’t deal with frankness! Whoops, can I take that back? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/107 "2016-05-04T16:49:04Z")
The smell, you know that gasoline smell. Smells like… my ex-girlfriend’s underpants. ---
**Author:** ![Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90ced4/32.png) [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waltzes_with_Cacti)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/108 "2016-05-04T16:49:22Z")
It was, like, almost ninety years ago that some old dudes decided to invent a new country that was, you know, free and where everybody was supposed to be excellent to each other. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/109 "2016-05-04T16:51:47Z")
> [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](#): > > It was, like, almost ninety years ago that some old dudes decided to invent a new country that was, you know, free and where everybody was supposed to be excellent to each other. Post #54 above: > [@](#): > > This one’s from an old cartoon on Playboy: > > “Eight dozen minus nine years ago… no, no, no — thirteen years less than a century ago… No. I need something better…” ---
**Author:** ![Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90ced4/32.png) [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waltzes_with_Cacti)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/110 "2016-05-04T16:57:25Z")
The winter solstice festival won’t be the winter solstice festival without an exchange of trinkets in gaily wrapped boxes. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/111 "2016-05-04T17:14:06Z")
My calculations of the overall length of the shark based on the part of the dorsal fin above water suggest that we’ll require a larger vessel to complete our task. ---
**Author:** ![Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90ced4/32.png) [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waltzes_with_Cacti)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/112 "2016-05-04T17:32:50Z")
I traversed the barren sandy wasteland on an anonymous equine. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/113 "2016-05-04T17:53:49Z")
There were plants and birds and rocks and heat…wait, that makes the line _better_ and removes the need for The Heat Was Hot line. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/114 "2016-05-04T17:54:24Z")
“Arrest him, Daniel, and charge him with first degree homicide.” “Well, the airplanes wouldn’t have got him if he hadn’t cracked up and gone sappy for the dame.” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/115 "2016-05-04T17:59:04Z")
“I give up. tell me the name of the guy playing First Base.” “To tell the truth, I don’t care, Scarlett.” ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/116 "2016-05-04T18:05:48Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > “To tell the truth, I don’t care, Scarlett.” The entry in the [Meaning of Liff](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Meaning_of_Liff) for “epworth”: > [@The Meaning of Liff (Douglas Adams and John Lloyd)](#): > > Epworth (n.) > > The precise value of the usefulness of epping (q.v.) it is a little-known fact than an earlier draft of the final line of the film Gone with the Wind had Clark Gable saying ‘Frankly my dear, i don’t give an epworth’, the line being eventually changed on the grounds that it might not be understood in Cleveland. Now, whenever I hear or see the actual line, I can’t help substituting “epworth” in my mind. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/117 "2016-05-04T18:11:35Z")
“We’ll tell him he has to accept our offer or we’ll do something really bad to him.” ---
**Author:** ![Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90ced4/32.png) [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waltzes_with_Cacti)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/118 "2016-05-04T18:12:14Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > “To tell the truth, I don’t care, Scarlett.” Post #29 above: > [@Dante\_G](#): > > “You know what, Scarlett … that’s not my problem.” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![psychonaut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psychonaut/32/4655_2.png) [@psychonaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychonaut)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/119 "2016-05-04T18:13:14Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Let’s make up first drafts of famous lines Been reading [The Far Side](http://www.electricalaudio.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=7247&start=40#p1922709)? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2016, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786/120 "2016-05-04T18:15:03Z")
Forget it, Jake - it’s downtown San Francisco. Or maybe Toodles, Shodan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-make-up-first-drafts-of-famous-lines/753786.md?page=7)