# Let's modernize jousting! **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [January 8, 2009, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361 "2009-01-08T12:18:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/1 "2009-01-08T12:18:08Z")
Jousting is an event that has fallen completely out of fashion. It may have been because the dudes in heavy armor didn’t score enough chicks or because they decided they needed to breath in addition to being pretty well protected. Or maybe the horses went on strike? No matter the reason; we need to bring it back! It would be a great spectator sport, and brilliant for Television (since most matches would only go for a few seconds). So how should we modernize jousting and bring it into the 21. Century? I have a couple of ideas to start things off: [ul] [li]Motorcycles instead of horses (horses are soooo 12.th century)[/li][li]Lances with soft ends (since we wouldn’t want our start players killed)[/li][li]Full motorcycle protection gear, maybe made from Kevlar (to go on with the protection angle)[/li][/ul] So whaddaya say? What else would we need? ---
**Author:** ![seodoa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@seodoa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seodoa)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/2 "2009-01-08T12:24:45Z")
Somebody crazy/stupid/rich enough to try to finance it all? Where’s Vince McMahon when we need him? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/3 "2009-01-08T12:37:33Z")
Reactive armor. (Seriously, though, with just a bit of safety modernization, you could probably do it with horses…I’ve thought for awhile that this’d make an AWESOME olympic sport.) Failing that, _elephant_ jousting. If you want to make it really hardcore, don’t let the _riders_ be the ones who wield the lances. :eek: 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/4 "2009-01-08T12:50:27Z")
I’m with\*\* Ranchoth\*\*. Horses are the way to go. A significant element of jousting was the horsemanship needed to execute such an event. Motorcycles make it too easy. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Call_Me_Shirley)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/5 "2009-01-08T12:56:32Z")
What will they use for the unbeatable(?) pterodactyl? ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/6 "2009-01-08T12:56:35Z")
Too easy? Try balancing a motorcycle while carrying a lance and a shield (considering the horse can keep balance without assistance). And with motorcycles, we wouldn’t have PETA on us from day one 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![seodoa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@seodoa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seodoa)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/7 "2009-01-08T12:58:46Z")
> [@WormTheRed](#): > > Too easy? > > Try balancing a motorcycle while carrying a lance and a shield (considering the horse can keep balance without assistance). And with motorcycles, we wouldn’t have PETA on us from day one 🙂 It’s not a good time until some activist group is protesting. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/8 "2009-01-08T13:37:52Z")
Now you’ve got the idea! ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/9 "2009-01-08T13:44:06Z")
Ok, I give in. Let’s go with horses (even if I think it would be easier to find daredevils who ride motorcycles). So basically we are upping the equipment to modern standards. Then, how should we set up the competition? Cup-style like in tennis or league? Seeding previous champions or a free for all? I’m leaning towards a seeded group stage, where the winners then qualify for the knock out (down) rounds. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/10 "2009-01-08T13:50:47Z")
We’ll need something that at least brings the possibility of spectacularly bursting into flames. ---
**Author:** ![critter42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@critter42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/critter42)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/11 "2009-01-08T13:55:55Z")
They already had a commercial last year/couple of years ago that was as modern as it could get 🙂 A group of construction workers gathered around while four guys - one in a wheelbarrow, one on a two-wheel dolly and each pushed by one of the other two guys faced off with… Extended tape measures. Yeah… ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/12 "2009-01-08T13:59:03Z")
[quote=“WormTheRed, post:1, topic:480361”] [li]Lances with soft ends (since we wouldn’t want our start players killed)[/li][/QUOTE] Ooh, time to fight some ignorance! Oh boy! There was a difference between jousting poles, which were made for jousting, and lances, which were made for killing. Jousing poles were not made to kill, they were meant to break. They usually had a blunt end, or even a coronet, for the sole purpose of not turning the knight on the other end into shish kabob. And points were scored not for killing an opponent, but for breaking your pole on him. Having said that, bring it on. I’ve seen live jousting a number of times, and it never fails to entertain me. I even started a thread a few years ago about making it an Olympic event. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/13 "2009-01-08T14:09:00Z")
Kayak jousting is a blast – drift down through an easy rapid while standing up in your kayak, jousting with your paddle against another paddler going down the rapid while standing up in his or her kayak. First one in the drink loses. Yes, we really do this. Less adventurous types do this from canoes on flat water. ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/14 "2009-01-08T14:14:55Z")
I say motorcycles as well. I know of some crazy FMX guys that would love to get in on this. IMHO, jousting on a motorcycle would take much more skill than on a horse. And it would be more entertaining - with the possibility of bursting into flames! The tricky part would be the start. You need most of your limbs to get a bike moving - right hand on throttle, left hand on clutch, left foot for gear shift, right foot to hold you up til you get moving. I’m thinking that you’d have the pole mounted to the bike somehow, and you’d get it into position once you started moving. Oh yeah, lets get this goin’! ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/15 "2009-01-08T14:20:54Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Ooh, time to fight some ignorance! Oh boy! > > There was a difference between jousting poles, which were made for jousting, and lances, which were made for killing. Jousing poles were not made to kill, they were meant to break. They usually had a blunt end, or even a coronet, for the sole purpose of not turning the knight on the other end into shish kabob. And points were scored not for killing an opponent, but for breaking your pole on him. > > Having said that, bring it on. I’ve seen live jousting a number of times, and it never fails to entertain me. I even started a thread a few years ago about making it an Olympic event. How utterly disappointing ☹ My medieval fantasy is destroyed… even though I figured they just got injured and not killed; most of the time. Still I think it would be easier to have a soft edge that just bruises the hittee (?) instead of having lots of splinters all over the field. Maybe carbon fiber lances with a light weight “sack” up front? And thank you for the motorcycle support, **Brewha**! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/16 "2009-01-08T14:24:04Z")
Just as a side note, one of the reasons jousting fell out of favor was that the King of France banned it because he noticed that too many knights were dying. Not to be too much of a downer, but you’re not going to be able to make this a safe sport. Safer than it was then, maybe, but people are still gonna die. Then again, people die & get crippled playing high school football, so knock yourselves out. ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/17 "2009-01-08T14:28:17Z")
Well, I’m far too much of a wuss to play myself. Wouldn’t mind sitting in the Throne on the sides waving my hand though, like the Kings of yore did 🙂 And people die and get crippled in pretty much all sports; so as long as we get enough money into it, I wouldn’t worry about getting contenders 😉 ---
**Author:** ![seodoa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@seodoa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seodoa)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/18 "2009-01-08T14:29:31Z")
> [@WormTheRed](#): > > Maybe carbon fiber lances with a light weight “sack” up front? I’m visualizing American Gladiators-inspired weaponry here. I think we need to get their producers involved. The target demographic will most likely be the same, so that’s a bonus! ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/19 "2009-01-08T14:30:42Z")
But let’s keep in theoretical at the moment and ignore the possibility of too much blood and gore. How to make it bad ass cool? ETA: This post meant to answer **Ethilrist** ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2009, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361/20 "2009-01-08T14:34:02Z")
I’ll let a few secrets out. I worked for a third party company that made the lance poles for a certain medieval entertainment venue here in Orlando. They are made from a hard, two part foam. They are then cross sawn and bound together so they explode magnificently when they hit the opponent. They still have plenty of knock down power though, needing to bend significantly before the bindings break under the strain is more than enough to catapult a knight off his charger. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-modernize-jousting/480361.md?page=2)