# "Let's name this thing what we already call that thing." English language stoopidity. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 20, 2019, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351 "2019-07-20T14:52:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/1 "2019-07-20T14:52:04Z")
We who speak English have 26 letters at our disposal and an infinite number of ways to arrange those letters. Why, then, must we call a stringed instrument a mandolin and a kitchen slicer a mandoline? We couldn’t be arsed to create a new word for it? Not only is it unnecessary to apply the same name to the slicer that already exists for the instrument, but there is potential danger. \*“Hey, toss me my mandolin!” “Ouch!!! WTF???!!!”\* We should have labeled the mandolin a _schmertzer_. Problem solved. There are countless other examples. mmm \* _Please note: I spent a good 20 seconds doing Google Research before posting. I understand they are spelled differently, and I understand that the mandoline got its name because the hand motion used is similar to the motion used when playing the mandolin. Neither of these facts are relevant to my story._\* ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/2 "2019-07-20T16:10:16Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > We who speak English have 26 letters at our disposal and an infinite number of ways to arrange those letters. > > Why, then, must we call a stringed instrument a mandolin and a kitchen slicer a mandoline? We couldn’t be arsed to create a new word for it? > > Not only is it unnecessary to apply the same name to the slicer that already exists for the instrument, but there is potential danger. > \*“Hey, toss me my mandolin!” > > “Ouch!!! WTF???!!!”\* That’s not a bug, that’s a feature. Any asshole that demands their instrument be thrown doesn’t deserve the fingers necessary for playing it. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/3 "2019-07-20T16:36:08Z")
I’d just like to mention that the mandoline is the most dangerous piece of kitchen equipment ever invented. I love my mandoline but despite being extremely careful when using it, I’ve cut myself a couple of times. A friend of mine once cut himself fairly badly while using a mandoline, _while he was explaining_ how careful you need to be when using one. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/4 "2019-07-20T16:41:38Z")
Not quite what was asked, but we really fucked things up with “inflammable”. If there’s one word you don’t want to be ambiguous, it’s that one. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/5 "2019-07-20T17:07:43Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > We who speak English have 26 letters at our disposal and an infinite number of ways to arrange those letters. > > Why, then, must we call a stringed instrument a mandolin and a kitchen slicer a mandoline? We couldn’t be arsed to create a new word for it? I had to look up “mandoline”; I wasn’t familiar with that word. (Since I’ve never needed it before, maybe I can just pretend the word doesn’t exist—problem solved.) If it’s an English word, the “line” part should be pronounced like “line,” not like “lin.” So, two different words. On the other hand, if it’s not an English word, then don’t blame the English language for it—blame the French. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/6 "2019-07-20T17:51:59Z")
Same thing with a lyre. Hey, toss me that lyre! And an elected official crushes the life out of you. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/7 "2019-07-20T18:17:45Z")
“English doesn’t borrow from other languages. It mugs them in an alley and riffles their pockets for loose grammar and vocabulary.” And never mind being careful about naming a bird, a genital organ, a device to stop a spigot, and part of a gun’s lock, and a verb referring to tilting something. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/8 "2019-07-20T20:22:05Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > “English doesn’t borrow from other languages. It mugs them in an alley and riffles their pockets for loose grammar and vocabulary.” > > And never mind being careful about naming a bird, a genital organ, a device to stop a spigot, and part of a gun’s lock, and a verb referring to tilting something. You completely understand my OP. mmm ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/9 "2019-07-20T20:43:59Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > “English doesn’t borrow from other languages. It mugs them in an alley and riffles their pockets for loose grammar and vocabulary.” > > And never mind being careful about naming a bird, a genital organ, a device to stop a spigot, and part of a gun’s lock, and a verb referring to tilting something. As a native speaker of American English, I’ve always resented that bit about mugging in alleys (allies? mugging our allies?) I like to think we English speakers (in the US anyway) are quite honest and open and fearless about shaking down other languages for phrases and words. No need for back alley shenanigans. The rest of your post I have no quibbles with. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/10 "2019-07-20T20:51:42Z")
We already have a perfectly good word that means _ **"figuratively"** _, I don’t see why we also use a different word to mean the same thing. And of all the words we could choose, why did we go with\*\*\* “literally”\*\*\*? I see the potential for confusion and/or idiocy. Ah well, you win some you loose some :D. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/11 "2019-07-20T21:11:25Z")
Indubitably! ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/12 "2019-07-20T21:32:55Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Why, then, must we call a stringed instrument a mandolin and a kitchen slicer a mandoline? We couldn’t be arsed to create a new word for it? You do get that the one thing is named _because of_ the other thing, right? And they used to be spelled exactly the same. And “we” didn’t name either. The French did. So not _English_ stupidity at all. Although I did learn today that “playing the mandolin” is French slang for female masturbation, so this thread isn’t a _total_ loss. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/13 "2019-07-20T21:57:21Z")
If you confuse a frog for a frog, it could lead to some really morbid flower arrangements. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/14 "2019-07-20T21:59:45Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > You do get that the one thing is named _because of_ the other thing, right? And they used to be spelled exactly the same. And “we” didn’t name either. The French did. So not _English_ stupidity at all. > > Although I did learn today that “playing the mandolin” is French slang for female masturbation, so this thread isn’t a _total_ loss. What I know is that you didn’t read the OP very carefully. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/15 "2019-07-20T22:01:14Z")
Because we’re lazy. And because, what are you going to do? He, toss me that – thing – that, over there, The thing I just invented. The schmertzer. You know, the kitchen thing you play like a mandoline… ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/16 "2019-07-20T22:13:30Z")
Also, the mouse. Don’t you hate it when you want a computer pointing device and someone hands you a small rodent? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/17 "2019-07-20T22:37:49Z")
^ If you have more than one of those, do you have “mice” or “mouses”? Dr. Seuss is smiling in the Great Beyond. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/18 "2019-07-20T23:24:04Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Also, the mouse. Don’t you hate it when you want a computer pointing device and someone hands you a small rodent? Or vice versa. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/19 "2019-07-20T23:34:46Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > What I know is that you didn’t read the OP very carefully. I read it several times and I don’t have a clue for what you meant. Why not try again using a completely different set of words? ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2019, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/20 "2019-07-20T23:41:19Z")
And _monitor_! All I wanted was a new computer display, and now I have to catch this damned lizard! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351.md?page=2)