# "Let's name this thing what we already call that thing." English language stoopidity. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 20, 2019, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351 "2019-07-20T14:52:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jaycat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat/32/3015_2.png) [@jaycat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaycat)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/21 "2019-07-21T01:01:13Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > . . . Although I did learn today that “playing the mandolin” is French slang for female masturbation . . . Do you have a cite for this? My bluegrass-playing buddies would love to know. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/22 "2019-07-21T01:04:42Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > I read it several times and I don’t have a clue for what you meant. Why not try again using a completely different set of words? Ok, that was funny. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/23 "2019-07-21T01:08:42Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > ^ If you have more than one of those, do you have “mice” or “mouses”? > > Dr. Seuss is smiling in the Great Beyond. I read somewhere that the plural of a computer mouse is mouses. I don’t know if that is actually true, but I like it. Another relevant anecdote: Movie producer Sam Goldwyn needed a pair of mongooses for a film. He didn’t know how to ask for them, plural-wise, so he just said, “Get me a mongoose. And while you’re at it, get me another one.” mmm ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/24 "2019-07-21T02:12:48Z")
I (as a computer programmer) got a very nice charity solicitation letter from the Salvation Army one Christmas that started… > [@](#): > > T’was the night before Christmas, > and all through the house, > not a creature was stirring, > not even a mouse… ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/25 "2019-07-21T02:28:42Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > And _monitor_! All I wanted was a new computer display, and now I have to catch this damned lizard! Which ironclad did you get that off of? ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/26 "2019-07-21T02:33:50Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I read somewhere that the plural of a computer mouse is mouses. I don’t know if that is actually true, but I like it. I like it too, but there’s some disagreement over that. It is true that it’s common for words with an irregular plural to take a regular plural when used in a figurative sense - for example an insect has two antennae but my wireless router has two antennas. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/27 "2019-07-21T02:35:40Z")
…but the reception was incredible! ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/28 "2019-07-21T03:43:51Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > And _monitor_! All I wanted was a new computer display, and now I have to catch this damned lizard! Or someone is demanding to see your hallway pass. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/29 "2019-07-21T03:57:22Z")
There is a language that many engineers and technical writers use called “Simplified Technical English”. The reason for this version of English is precisely because it is a tricky language, therefore it’s incredibly confusing for those who speak it as a second or third language. In STE, a language of about 30,000 words, one word has only a single meaning. It can only mean that specific definition. It was created by NASA and is used by air traffic controllers around the world, rather than rely on colloquial English to prevent confusion and mid-air collisions. We write technical manuals with it, so that someone in Manila, Chennai, or Nairobi can read the English manual and assemble or repair a piece of equipment and all three get the same results. Once we learn the language, it can be very difficult for our friends and loved ones to get along with us because we are always insisting that they aren’t saying things correctly.:rolleyes: Job hazard. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/30 "2019-07-21T04:07:03Z")
Interesting. Is there a grammar/punctuation guide to go with that? ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/31 "2019-07-21T04:14:03Z")
30,000 words? [That is far too many](https://xkcd.com/simplewriter/). ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/32 "2019-07-21T04:14:33Z")
Grammar yes, punctuation no. Actually, we usually follow a specified style guide at each company for grammar and punctuation. It can vary wildly from company to company. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/33 "2019-07-21T04:19:02Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > 30,000 words? [That is far too many](https://xkcd.com/simplewriter/). I agree with you for the most part. I like the KISS principle. However, depending on the industry there are very specific terms for very specific items that you would not want to get mixed up. Imagine the differences that exist between a heart pump and the Mars rover. Now, keep in mind that one word has one meaning only. Extrapolate from there. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/34 "2019-07-21T09:35:50Z")
[Hesitates Because The Warning Was Heard, But Wasn’t Understood] “Uh, _hot_-hot, or _spicy_-hot?” ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/35 "2019-07-21T09:43:25Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > What I know is that you didn’t read the OP very carefully. > mmm Your note was in italics AND below your “mmm”, my brain took it as a sig. And you missed in your research that they \*weren’t \*originally spelled differently. So you knew the answer, and knew neither word was actually English, so why have this frigging thread, and especially that thread title? ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/36 "2019-07-21T09:51:56Z")
> [@jaycat](#): > > Do you have a cite for this? My bluegrass-playing buddies would love to know. Sure. [Definition 3c](https://www.cnrtl.fr/definition/mandoline) ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/37 "2019-07-21T11:30:39Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Your note was in italics AND below your “mmm”, my brain took it as a sig… Like I said, you did not read the OP carefully. > [@MrDibble](#): > > …And you missed in your research that they \*weren’t \*originally spelled differently. This I did not know. Not sure what that has to do with my topic, though. > [@MrDibble](#): > > …So you knew the answer, and knew neither word was actually English, so why have this frigging thread, and especially that thread title? I knew how the mandoline got its name. What I’m puzzled about is why they didn’t name it a _schmertzer_. Also, read the OP once more. Hint: it’s not about mandolins. It’s about the English language. On second thought, please do not read the OP again. Thanks. mmm ---
**Author:** ![minlokwat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minlokwat/32/2844_2.png) [@minlokwat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minlokwat)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/38 "2019-07-21T11:51:20Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I read somewhere that the plural of a computer mouse is mouses. I don’t know if that is actually true, but I like it. Similarly if a verb is used in a different-from-original context and has an irregular participle, the new usage should revert to a regular formation. Example: “The baseball player flied out to third.” not “The baseball player flew out to third.” As for the computer mouse/mouses/mice, there doesn’t appear to be an iron-clad rule. To me “mouses” sounds better. Example: “In the computer lab, there are several mouses that are not working.” sounds more proper than “…there are several mice that are not working”. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/39 "2019-07-21T12:21:04Z")
Wait, it’s not “mousen”? And today I learned something. I knew that there was a kitchen tool called a “mandolin(e)”, but I had assumed that it was the thing that you use to slice a hard-boiled egg. Because, you know, that thing has a bunch of parallel strings. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2019, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351/40 "2019-07-21T13:19:41Z")
And don’t get me started on “thong”. > [@Chronos](#): > > Wait, it’s not “mousen”? Rodentia. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-name-this-thing-what-we-already-call-that-thing-english-language-stoopidity/837351.md?page=3)