# Let's plan our post-rapture party! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 12, 2011, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594 "2011-05-12T00:53:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/1 "2011-05-12T00:53:27Z")
As many of y’all may have heard, a good number of Xtians have decided to ignore the plain words of the Gospel and assert that they know when the Rapture is going to occur: [namely on the 21st of this month](http://www.npr.org/2011/05/07/136053462/is-the-end-nigh-well-know-soon-enough). Such persons are, of course, nincompoops. I think. But in the event they’re right we should go ahead and plan a big freaking party, since those of us who are left are obviously going to hell anyway. So if it happens I want y’all to meet me in Shelby Farms in Memphis. I’ve already made arrangements to [del]purchase beer and food[/del] loot several local Kroger’s, so we’re good on the basics. What will you bring? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/2 "2011-05-12T00:56:27Z")
Same as I bring to every Rapture – a side of beef, a case of whiskey, and an assault rifle. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/3 "2011-05-12T01:53:31Z")
It’s a long drive from Canada so just let me know what you need and I’ll steal it on the way. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/4 "2011-05-12T02:00:58Z")
Fast cars, condoms, margaritas and chocolate by the truckload. Yay!! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/5 "2011-05-12T02:14:57Z")
I actually read, for the silly entertainment value, part of the “Left Behind” series of books. I’ll bring a copy of the last book, _Glorious Appearing_, and we can toast marshmallows over it. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/6 "2011-05-12T02:38:53Z")
My best friend is getting married on the 21st, so we will be having a hell of a party afterward regardless of any rapture. I’m sure there will be rapture later that night though! Oh ho! ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/7 "2011-05-12T05:23:02Z")
The Druidess is an excellent cook–along with many other sterling qualities. We bring two each of dogs and attack lizards, some good bourbon and a reasonable facsimile thereof, a semi-random collection of classic tunes on CD, and I’d probably “find” a few weapons with ample ammo along the way… ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/8 "2011-05-12T09:05:51Z")
Um, shouldn’t the party be held on the [Plains of Meggido](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armageddon)? ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/9 "2011-05-13T00:09:04Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > My best friend is getting married on the 21st, so we will be having a hell of a party afterward regardless of any rapture. I’m sure there will be rapture later that night though! Oh ho! If you get a hangover ,you might be pulling for the rapture. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/10 "2011-05-13T01:28:45Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Um, shouldn’t the party be held on the [Plains of Meggido](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armageddon)? The article confirms what I thought- Meggido is a hill not a plain. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/11 "2011-05-13T01:38:27Z")
Sorry, I’ll be away then. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/12 "2011-05-13T04:34:13Z")
I’ll bring deviled eggs, and angel food cake, and lasagna. That should cover all bases. Also I’ll bring along any heavy metal CDs I can dig up. Especially Judas Priest. I’m listening to [“Diamonds and Rust”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OHJP1BSVgM) right now. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/13 "2011-05-13T13:25:55Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > … We bring two each of dogs and attack lizards… Excuse me, but could you enlarge upon the theme of “attack lizards?” What, typically, are they trained to attack, and should the other party attendants worry? Are they house-trained? Do we need to stock up on Lizard Chow? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/14 "2011-05-13T13:34:56Z")
Would love to make it, but I’ll be too busy stealing Aston Martins from those who have been Taken Up. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/15 "2011-05-13T14:51:45Z")
> [@Oy](#): > > Excuse me, but could you enlarge upon the theme of “attack lizards?” What, typically, are they trained to attack, and should the other party attendants worry? Are they house-trained? Do we need to stock up on Lizard Chow? I sold Oak the attack lizards, so I’ll answer. Of course they’re not house-trained. I don’t even understand the question there. As for whom they’re trained to attack, unless the counselor has hinked with them, they attack what they are commanded to attack, when commanded, or in self-defense, but not otherwise. We tried doing it other ways but there were a lot of lawsuits. And they provide their own chow during attacks. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/16 "2011-05-13T15:08:28Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I sold Oak the attack lizards, so I’ll answer… > > they attack what they are commanded to attack, when commanded, or in self-defense, but not otherwise… Unless they get hungry. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/17 "2011-05-13T15:11:26Z")
How big are the attack lizards? Are we talking Komodo Dragons, or geckos, or somewhere in between? And, while I understand that lizards, being cold-blooded, require less food to sustain them than most mammals of equivalent size, do you expect us to have sufficient occasions to command the lizards to attack (or situations in which their lives are threatened) that they will have enough prey-food to sustain themselves? And, silly, by house-trained, I mean can we leave them on sentry duty in the house without waking up to lizard fewmets (scat, faeces, turds) all over the place? Don’t know about you, but I’m not all that taken by the idea of waking up to go to the bathroom and stepping into lizard poo. I live alone in an urban area. Maybe I should consider acquiring one of these attack lizards. Have you any more for sale? ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/18 "2011-05-13T15:15:23Z")
Sorry, on the 22nd, I’ll be stuck going to a postponed Mother’s Day dinner. (And now I’m picturing a cartoon with all of the Family Circus characters up in heaven. The Mother has her hands on her hips, saying “You postponed my Mother’s Day dinner knowing this would happen, didn’t you?” The rest of them look sheepish.) > [@jjimm](#): > > Would love to make it, but I’ll be too busy stealing Aston Martins from those who have been Taken Up. Are people who own Aston Martins likely to be Taken Up? I don’t think so, but good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/19 "2011-05-13T15:15:59Z")
> [@Oy](#): > > …do you expect us to have sufficient occasions to command the lizards to attack (or situations in which their lives are threatened) that they will have enough prey-food to sustain themselves?.. With all the people poking their noses in and asking questions about stuff that’s none of their business, the lizards will be amply fed. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594/20 "2011-05-13T15:16:57Z")
These particular attack lizards are of the Bearded Dragon variety. Very well trained, and don’t causes issues with fewmets. Poop is rare, and usually just a pellet. When not eating intruders or other annoyances, they eat super worms and salad greens. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-plan-our-post-rapture-party/581594.md?page=2)