# Let's play death is not an option **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553 "2003-05-11T21:20:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/1 "2003-05-11T21:20:30Z")
The rules are: You state two very bad things. The next poster has to choice which of those things he’d rather do. Then he gives two more things, and the next poster posts which he’d rather do, and so forth. And you can’t choose to die instead, hence the game name. I’ll start: Would you rather: Be sodomized by the entire LA police department or Perform oral sex on Fred Phelps ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/2 "2003-05-11T21:34:55Z")
Perform oral sex on Fred Phelps (VERY drunk) Watch a marathon of Madonna movies or Attend every boy band concert ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/3 "2003-05-11T21:38:13Z")
Watch a marathon of Madonna movies (there weren’t that many, fortunately) - Eat a half pound of live worms or - Soak in a vat of cow snot. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/4 "2003-05-11T21:57:45Z")
Cow snot. Watch **Steel Magnolias** in a theater full of PMSing Southern women and comment loudly and often that “Chick movies suck balls!” or Listen to the audio book of _War and Peace_ read by Fran Drescher ---
**Author:** ![Daoloth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/82dd89/32.png) [@Daoloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daoloth)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/5 "2003-05-11T22:01:23Z")
Watch _Magnolias._ Guzzle a bucket of smegma… OR: Watch a remake of _Waterworld_ starring Elvira. A hundred times in fifty days. ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/6 "2003-05-11T22:18:23Z")
Waterworld * * * Playfully jiggle Robin Leech’s man-teats to the strains of Mambo # 5 ~or~ Return your next movie to the video store during the rush period completely nude? ---
**Author:** ![Payton\_s\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@Payton\_s\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payton_s_Servant)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/7 "2003-05-11T22:47:32Z")
Jiggle Leach’s man boobs * * * Have Rosanne sit on your face for 5 hours after she has finished a huge bowl of chili with extra peppers and onions Or Attend a 2 week long conference of lectures, where the lecturers are Jerry Falwell, Fred Phelps, Pat Roberston, Michael Savage and Benny Hinn. (Note: You may not fall asleep during any lecture, in fact you must take notes.) ---
**Author:** ![d12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/71c47a/32.png) [@d12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d12)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/8 "2003-05-11T23:05:07Z")
Lectures ====== Eat the waste from your city for a week Or Go without the SDMB forever. ---
**Author:** ![Omorka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Omorka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omorka)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/9 "2003-05-11T23:14:40Z")
I’ll take the lectures. Know Thine Enemy. – Teach 8th grade remedial math for a week OR Be a corporate drone for a year without making any disparaging comments about your cow-orkers, your immediate boss, or the CEO. ---
**Author:** ![sivispacem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@sivispacem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sivispacem)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/10 "2003-05-11T23:21:50Z")
8th Grade remedial math. * * * Felch an entire herd of sheep that’s just been visited by Texas’ Death row - without a straw. or Yell, “Jerry Falwell was right about Muhammad!!” in downtown Teran. ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/11 "2003-05-12T00:51:51Z")
\ [Sluggy Freelance](http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=970917) did something like this waaay back when. “Locusts or frogs?” “Frogs.” “Famine or leprosy?” “Famine.” “Paparazzi or telemarketers?” “DEATH!” “Okay, we’re in agreement then.” 😃 \ ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/12 "2003-05-12T01:03:58Z")
Yell Jerry falwell was right!(with a tank!) Be forced to each type of sadomasochistic sex in every way imaginable by The Jack Chick god. Drown in semen,menstrual fluids,each type of ejaculate, feces, and urine. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/13 "2003-05-12T02:55:44Z")
Yellow flag… hebesphenomegacorona, your post is disqualified. Remember death is not an option, this means none of the activities involve death. I will pick up with sivispacem’s post. I would choose to yell Falwell was right. Can I say it in Norwegian? Castration or Sexual gratification every waking minute of the day. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/14 "2003-05-12T03:15:23Z")
[hijack] Isn’t there some kind of book out along similar lines? [/hijack] F\_X ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/15 "2003-05-12T03:25:15Z")
Lucky for you I’m male, **racer72** , so I can answer your question. Castration. * * * Identifiable pictures of you fellating Dick Cheney circulating the Internet, which will eventually be uncovered by all your friends, family, and enemies. OR Getting pegged in the ass by Hillary Clinton in the middle of Times Square on New Year’s Eve. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/16 "2003-05-12T04:01:33Z")
Getting nailed by Hilary. At least I agree with her politics. * * * Get smashed on the head with a two-by four wrapped in barbed wire on a Japanese wrestling program. OR Attend a triple feature showing of _Crossroads_, _Kangaroo Jack_ and _Battlefield Earth_ while wearing nothing but a bikini made of steel wool. ---
**Author:** ![TVGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@TVGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/17 "2003-05-12T04:12:53Z")
The movie marathon - but only because the bikini thing sounds intriguingly kinky… Standing up in a crowd of staunch democrats and being required to yell “There ARE WMD’s in Iraq, just like the president said” for 24 hours straight. or Being _REQUIRED_ to install each and every AOL CD that arrives in the mail. ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/18 "2003-05-12T05:46:39Z")
I’ll take the AOL cd… we don’t get any of those over here yet _smirk_ * * * Amputuate your own arm with a rusty and blunt multitool Or Be tied up, disembowelled, and left for wildlife to eat chunks out of while still alive (a la Promethius) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/19 "2003-05-12T05:48:39Z")
Phraser, wouldn’t that kill you? “Death is not an option!” ---
**Author:** ![TheFunkySpaceCowboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9a28c/32.png) [@TheFunkySpaceCowboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFunkySpaceCowboy)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/20 "2003-05-12T06:01:14Z")
Yeah Phrasers options are disqualified so I’ll pick up the one before him. ## I’d take the AOL CD’s. All my PC’s run Linux, I could _try_ to install the AOL software everytime one arrived 🙂 Share every single thought you have with everyone around you for a month straight. -or- Be completely nude for a whole month, everywhere you went, work, shopping, family dinners etc… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553.md?page=2)