# Let's play death is not an option **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553 "2003-05-11T21:20:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Catalyst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Catalyst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catalyst)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/41 "2003-05-13T02:22:59Z")
Only awake for a day. Unable to like anyone (in any sense) or disliked by all? ---
**Author:** ![Quonk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ed655f/32.png) [@Quonk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quonk)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/42 "2003-05-13T02:52:24Z")
Unable to like anyone. – Chronically smell like sewage (to everyone else, but not to you) or have saliva that tastes like sewage (to everyone, including you)? ---
**Author:** ![Goodbeem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/958977/32.png) [@Goodbeem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goodbeem)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/43 "2003-05-13T03:03:08Z")
## Saliva. She (and I) will just have to get used to it in the same vein… loose control over your bladder function OR loose control over your sphincter ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/44 "2003-05-13T04:00:11Z")
Bladder. There’s always Depends. * * * Re-enact every non-lethal urban legend ever told (including ramming a gerbil up your colon and being served your own pet) or Re-enact every _Jackass_ stunt ever performed. ---
**Author:** ![Goodbeem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/958977/32.png) [@Goodbeem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goodbeem)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/45 "2003-05-13T04:28:51Z")
Jackass. At least I get to be on TV (that’s **MTV** for you, KCSuze 🙂 ) Be forever banned to an inhabited Pacific (no, make that: Arctic) Island or Be forever banned from the SDMB ---
**Author:** ![Kyann22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a4c791/32.png) [@Kyann22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyann22)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/46 "2003-05-13T04:34:02Z")
I’ll take the island (it would be a nice break from hot as heck Texas) Listen to Gilbert Godfrey talk for 24 hours straight or Listen to Dick Vitale commentate on sports for 24 hours straight ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/47 "2003-05-13T04:37:52Z")
Gilbert Godfrey. He’s occasionally funny. * * * Write closed captioning for _The Osbournes_ (also on MTV 😉 ) OR Serve as Fred Phelps’ Public Relations agent. ---
**Author:** ![Goodbeem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/958977/32.png) [@Goodbeem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goodbeem)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/48 "2003-05-13T05:06:36Z")
I’ll stick with the MTV, horrible as it may be. now for some serious business: having the one you truly love leaving you for someone (s)he is more happy with, being left in agony or leaving that one for someone you are happier with, leaving him/her in agony ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/49 "2003-05-13T19:54:46Z")
Leaving that person for someone I’m happier with. I’m an asshole, I admit it. Spend five years living in poverty in Afghanistan or Spend five years living in Antarctica ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/50 "2003-05-13T20:13:54Z")
Antarctica * * * Perform analingus on Jerry Springer -or- Perform cunnilingus on Sally Jesse Raphael ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/51 "2003-05-13T20:24:37Z")
Sally (love those glasses) Sleep in a port-a-john located at a hot outdoor heavy metal show or Spend an evening with suburban, baggy pants wearing Eminem wannabees at the local mall? ---
**Author:** ![Bongmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Bongmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bongmaster)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/52 "2003-05-13T20:28:07Z")
I’ll take the wannabees, it sounds less lethal. Would you rather… …be connected to your siamese twin via the mouth OR …be connected to your siamese twin via the anus ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/53 "2003-05-13T20:31:42Z")
## hafta go with Sally… I ain’t gonna go ANYWHERE near Springer’s sphincter! become one of those bag persons that wander around town, clearing having lost touch with reason or host a large 3-year-old birthday party at chucky cheese every week ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/54 "2003-05-13T21:52:45Z")
Just checked back and saw my simul-screw-up… > [@](#): > > …be connected to your siamese twin via the mouth > > OR > > …be connected to your siamese twin via the anus connected via mouth I suppose… both options suck pretty bad, though. and to try mine again become one of those bag persons that wander around town, clearing having lost touch with reason or host a large 3-year-old birthday party at chucky cheese every week ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/55 "2003-05-13T21:52:50Z")
Just checked back and saw my simul-screw-up… > [@](#): > > …be connected to your siamese twin via the mouth > > OR > > …be connected to your siamese twin via the anus connected via mouth I suppose… both options suck pretty bad, though. and to try mine again become one of those bag persons that wander around town, clearly having lost touch with reason or host a large 3-year-old birthday party at chucky cheese every week ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/56 "2003-05-13T22:44:39Z")
## Wander around town. In the end, I’d probably be less crazy :p. Get your fingernails pulled out OR Get mace sprayed in your :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/57 "2003-05-13T22:45:53Z")
Crap! My second option should be “Eat human feces”. Sorry bout that. ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/58 "2003-05-13T23:44:49Z")
## Easy. Get your fingernails pulled out. Be COMPLETELY ALONE and IMMORTAL on a ship going to the nearest star. OR Be COMPLETELY ALONE and IMMORTAL on Earth. Except you’re blind. ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/59 "2003-05-13T23:50:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by verbenabeast \* > **hafta go with Sally… I ain’t gonna go ANYWHERE near Springer’s sphincter!** Incidentally, **Springer’s Sphincter** would make a great band name! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/60 "2003-05-14T01:51:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Be COMPLETELY ALONE and IMMORTAL on a ship going to the nearest star. > > OR > > Be COMPLETELY ALONE and IMMORTAL on Earth. Except you’re blind. hrmm… alone, immortal, starship, I reckon. Least I ain’t blind. beaten until very near death by malevelant dwarves, and then set afire or felch a goat (this question is primarily for **Bippy the Beardless** ) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553.md?page=4)