# Let's play death is not an option **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553 "2003-05-11T21:20:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/61 "2003-05-14T04:33:55Z")
I’m afraid to ask, but what is “felching”? ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/62 "2003-05-14T04:37:07Z")
I’m afraid I’d have to go with the felching. There’s always mouthwash. Burn scars last forever. * * * Fall down a stopped escalator and have your shins shredded like a cheese grater. OR Fall down consistently on an ice rink until you break your tailbone, then fall down ten more times. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/63 "2003-05-14T04:39:20Z")
Added notes: Sorry, **verbenabeast** , but I didn’t want to wait for **Bippy’s** answer. **Blaron,** felching is sipping ejaculate from someone’s or something’s anal cavity. ---
**Author:** ![musicguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@musicguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/musicguy)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/64 "2003-05-14T05:28:21Z")
Escalator Be stuck in an elevator for 12 hours while Whitney Houston’s “I will always love you” plays over and over. OR Be handcuffed to Carrottop for a week ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/65 "2003-05-14T05:43:39Z")
I’ll take the elevator. Find your parents viewing porn you made on the internet OR Finding porn of your parents on the internet? ---
**Author:** ![musicguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@musicguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/musicguy)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/66 "2003-05-14T06:01:55Z")
**phraser** , Are you deaf by any chance? Just wondering 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/67 "2003-05-14T06:09:19Z")
Find porn of parents. Have your legs amputated or Have you arms amputated? ---
**Author:** ![superstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f4b2a3/32.png) [@superstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/superstar)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/68 "2003-05-14T07:39:23Z")
Sally Jesse Raphael. Spend 20 years in jail for a crime you did not commit? or Spend the rest of your life on the run? ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/69 "2003-05-14T10:55:11Z")
(Holy Cow, **superstar** , I know you’re in Oz 'n all, but that’s some _serious_ delay you’ve got there! - The Sally Jesse Raphael question was like 19 posts ago!!) :eek: ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/70 "2003-05-14T11:13:25Z")
**musicguy** : I don’t have great hearing (too many moons sitting in front of the trombones in orchestra… I’m a clarinettist and it’s an occupational hazard). I don’t actually know who Carrottop is, so I figured wrt Whitney “better the devil you know” (yes, I know that’s Kylie not Whitney, but it makes the point 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![mr.splitfoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@mr.splitfoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mr.splitfoot)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/71 "2003-05-14T11:29:28Z")
I’ll answer both above so we can get back on track Amputated legs Spend the rest of my life on the run. (how ironic is the difference between those 2) Would you rather: Be stoned to near death with pickles, revived and nursed back to health, then restoned again to near death with pickles, then nursed back to health and forced to eat all of the pickles non stop until they were gone? or Have a living group of cannibalistic china dolls that make horrid squeeking noises chew tiny chunks out of non fatal parts of your body, including genitals, for 5 years straight, but never causing death? ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/72 "2003-05-15T00:18:27Z")
Pickles. Be completely castrated, not just testicles but penis also. If you are a woman, get the clitoris and ovaries removed. In other words, all sexual pleasure gone forever. OR Have a face resembling that of the Elephant Man? ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/73 "2003-05-15T00:28:49Z")
Gonna go with elephant-face… at least I can please my own damn self… dipped in a vat of human spit or made to listen to vanilla ice records exlusively for the next year ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/74 "2003-05-15T00:53:43Z")
## dipped in a vat of human spit: I value what is left of my sanity. Be Carrot Top’s sex slave for a year. or Become a quadriplegic. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/75 "2003-05-15T01:04:46Z")
Be Carrot Top’s sex slave. At least that isn’t forever. Be able to see nothing on the Internet but the SDMB or Be unable to see the SDMB ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/76 "2003-05-15T03:56:38Z")
I know this is blasphemy, but I’ll have to choose being without it for a year. There’s just too much out there. * * * Front row center at a Celine Dion concert OR Front row center at a Gallagher show ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/77 "2003-05-15T03:57:44Z")
Sorry, I must have hallucinated the “for a year” stipulation. But my decision stands. ---
**Author:** ![Guybud5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Guybud5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guybud5)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/78 "2003-05-15T04:49:57Z")
Front row center at a Gallager concert… hey, it’s one of those wierd things I’ve always wanted to do (missed my op when he just recently came to Salinas) Have the voices of Sonny and Cher incessantly babble inside your brain… Or Have a sex change operation sans anesthesia. ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/79 "2003-05-15T14:08:35Z")
I’ll take Sonny and Cher Be forced to have a permenant housemate/family member/child learning to play the violin in your home and practising badly for at least two years OR Be unable to play any instrument except the accordion? ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553/80 "2003-05-15T15:02:26Z")
I’d prefer the bad violinist. Have your underwear turn into sandpaper in the middle of an important business meeting OR Eat poison ivy? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/174553.md?page=5)