# Let's play Death is not an Option! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 24, 2004, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/270860 "2004-10-24T03:37:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/270860/21 "2004-10-24T16:23:43Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Storm or Jean Gray? Both please. :eek: šŸ†’šŸ™‚šŸ˜ƒ Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/270860/22 "2004-10-24T16:34:42Z")
> [@MrFantsyPants](#): > > Lord Jesus, again for the self-sacrificing, good for the world kinda thing. > > Joseph Stalin or Benito Mussolini? (alive or dead, your choice) Uncle Joe Julia Child or Emeril (BAM) ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/270860/23 "2004-10-24T17:17:33Z")
Emeril. Iā€™d rather cross over into heterosexual waters than necrophiliac waters. Ozzy Osbourne or Sharon Osbourne? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/270860/24 "2004-10-24T17:34:01Z")
Stalin vs. Mussolini: Mussolini. Italians have a reputation for being good in the sack. Boss or spouseā€™s best friend: Spouseā€™s best friend. See above comment. Besides, heā€™s an attractive guy. Ozzy vs. Sharon: Ozzy. First of all, I just prefer guys. Secondly, heā€™d probably fall asleep within the first minute or so. Charles Manson vs. John Wayne Gacy: Charles Manson. He didnā€™t murder his little band of groupies, did he? Besides, heā€™d probably be interesting to talk to. :eek: Michael Jackson vs. Elizabeth Taylor: Elizabeth Taylor. Iā€™d rather be with anybody who is at least identifiably human than Michael Jackson. Then again, if I was with Michael Jackson, I could get a look at his weenie and sell my story for big bucks. And he probably wouldnā€™t be able to ā€œperformā€ at all, given that I am all woman, baby. So, Iā€™ll change my vote to Michael Jackson. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/270860/25 "2004-10-24T17:41:08Z")
Apu vs. Moe Chief Wiggum vs. Mayor Quimby Disco Stu vs. Artie Ziff The Comic Book Guy vs. Mr. Burns Reverend Lovejoy vs. Principal Skinner Principal Skinnerā€™s mother vs. Patty _and_ Selma ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2004, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/270860/26 "2004-10-24T23:29:39Z")
> [@Zjestika](#): > > Ann Coulter or Barbara Bush? > > Your first grade teacher or your high school principal? To the first: If you mean the Barbara Bush featured on [this page](http://www.thefirsttwins.com/summer2003.html), then her. But Ann if the alternative is [this gal.](http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/firstladies/bb41.html) To the second: My first-grade teacher was a fairly young woman when I was in her class. If sheā€™s still alive, sheā€™s in her mid-sixties. My high school principal was a man (now dead, but the OPā€™s instruction to ā€œ[a]ssume everyone in history is alive and wellā€ presumably applies to the ordinary as well as the celebrated). Regardless, Iā€™m a straight guy, so Miss Roth over Mr. Wise any day! Lee Harvey Oswald or John Wilkes Booth? Rasputin or Lucrezia Borgia? Wilma Flintstone or Betty Rubble? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/270860/27 "2004-10-25T03:34:59Z")
For the bear lovers out there: David Copperfield or Chris Carrabba? ---
**Author:** ![wickky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@wickky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wickky)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/270860/28 "2004-10-25T03:58:44Z")
Richard Simmons or Carrot Top? (definitely a thread killer!) ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/270860/29 "2004-10-25T04:16:15Z")
> [@wickky](#): > > Richard Simmons or Carrot Top? > (definitely a thread killer!) Carrot Top Helen Thomas or Madeline Albright? ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/270860/30 "2004-10-25T04:41:54Z")
> [@lee](#): > > Carrot Top > > Helen Thomas or Madeline Albright? Ditto Carrot Top. He uses props. And I just donā€™t like the idea of ā€œsweatinā€™ to the oldieā€. Madeline. Definitely Madeline. Nowā€¦ under the category ā€œWeird, Weirder, and Weirdestā€: ā€œa duckā€ or ā€œthat noiseā€? Ashley or Mary-Kate? A Boy Scout troop or a troop of bonobos? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/270860/31 "2004-10-25T05:02:49Z")
> [@Sample\_the\_Dog](#): > > Nowā€¦ under the category ā€œWeird, Weirder, and Weirdestā€: > ā€œa duckā€ or ā€œthat noiseā€? > Ashley or Mary-Kate? > A Boy Scout troop or a troop of bonobos? A duck, Ashley, and a Boy Scout troop. You lot have perverted my mind, now. _holds head_ Dobby or Gollum? Hannibal Lecter or Jack the Ripper? Cheney or Edwards? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/270860/32 "2004-10-25T12:41:33Z")
Cheney vs. Edwards: Edwards. Would anybody pick Cheney? I mean, I canā€™t imagine that even the most partisan person would choose a creepy old geezer with cardiac trouble over a good-looking and fit kind of guy. Clinton vs. Al Gore? Ralph Kramden vs. Ed Norton? Joe/Josephine vs. Jerry/Daphne? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-death-is-not-an-option/270860.md?page=1)