# Let's Play With My New Nigerian Friend **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 29, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456 "2004-07-29T17:16:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/1 "2004-07-29T17:16:05Z")
So I received another one of those 419 emails. For some reason, at this point it seemed time to mess with them a little bit, so I started conversing with them. Yes, I know it’s been done before, but I was bored, and at this point I’ve got a bit of a dialogue going. What I need is some Doper help to keep stringing this along as long as I can. _As the exchange is already underway, it will take me two posts to fit it all in, so please wait until I posted everything before replying…_ Here is the original email I received: > [@](#): > > Dear friend > I wish to introduce myself to you. I am ROSA JONAS SAVIMBI. I am the wife > to the late leader of the National Union for The Total Independence of Angola > (UNITA) Jonas Savimbi. My husband who was killed during combat action against > government force in the Central Eastern Province of Moxico, Angola on the > 22nd Of Feb 2002.I have the sum of One Hundred million United States dollars. > This money was realized from Diamond Royalties that was paid to my late > husband Jonas Savimbi (UNITA) From Diamond Companies Mining These Precious > Stones In The Areas We Controlled In Angola. UNITA has been in Control of > some part of Angola for more than three decade. As a result of the death > of my husband Jonas Savimbi. The government of president Santos has asks > UNITA to lay down their arms and surrender. But were reliably informed that > president Santos will embark on ethnic cleansing on the members of UNITA > if we are Captured. > > Consequently, I left Angola with members of my family through the borders > of a neighboring Country on exile, with the help of my brother in law Morris > Savimbi we were able to arrange the $100 Million USD (ONE HUNDRED MILLION > US DOLLARS) in 5 trunks boxes and took it along with us to Mauritius. > > The boxes of money has been lodged, as photo material and artifacts on behalf > of a foreigner with a security company for safe keeping here and Nobody > knows that this money belongs to the UNITA. I solicit for your assistance > and cooperation in getting the funds overseas from Mauritius. > > At the conclusion of this business you will be given35% of the total amount > while 60% will be for me and My family while 5% will be for expenses both > parties may incur in the course of making this transaction Successful. I > wish to assure you of a good business relationship and all logistic is in > place for the successful conclusion of this Business deal, on receipts of > your positive response i shall forward to you more details on the exact > role which is required of you for the successfully conclusion of this transaction’s > we look forward to your earliest response. For more information kindly forward > your secure telephone and fax number. > > I want you to reply back to this email address for security reason thank > you Email :EMAIL ADDRESS DELETED. Morris will be there to attend to your > call as I have handed over the transaction to him due to health reasons > but I will always be there. I hope to meet you soon.Thank you and god bless. > MRS ROSA SAVIMBI and here is my initial response: > [@](#): > > Hi Rosa and Morris, > > Please tell me how I can help you recover your monies. I am appalled > at the conditons your people have had to endure and I will do whatever > I can to help UNITA and the cause. Morris, I look forward to working > together with you to right these wrongs and transfer the money from > Mauritius. > > I have to ask, however, who is this Mauritius fellow? > Is he Latin? The name sounds Latin, but i thought you were in Africa. > > I look forward to hearing from you shortly. Please send me a picture > of you also, as it it customary among my people to know the faces of > those with whom we do business. > > Best Regards, > > Stephen > > Mr. _My Last Name_ > _My Last Name_ Investments > “Exploiting unproven technologies for pecuniary gain since 1921” ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/2 "2004-07-29T17:32:02Z")
Rosa’s reply: > [@](#): > > thatnk you for your response ok, i will send you our family picture tomorrow when i go out i have to scan it before i can send it to you ok, but i want you to send your phone number so that it willbe eazy for to call you from their we can know aesh other very well ok, await your response thank you! > > mrs rosa savimbi At this point I begin to mess with her a little more: > [@](#): > > Greetings, Rosa! > > I am very eager to begin to help you. As I mentioned before, it is customary among my people (I am Norwegian by birth) to know the faces of those with whom we do business. Please send me a picture of you so that the spirits of my ancestors are appeased and I may enter this agreement with a clear conscience and untroubled heart. > I have attached a picture of myself, so that you may also know with whom you are speaking. It is customary that when we send these pictures, they reflect in some way the essence of the person photographed. [This is the photo I attached.](http://www.madcityartists.com/personalpics/419/stephen_portrait.jpg) I am an Attorney, General practice, and the pillars behind me speak of the honor of justice and security. Perhaps your picture should reflect your essence, I would feel more comfortable this way. I would like to see a picture of yourself and the Honorable Jonas in your Ceremonial Attire for UNITA. Also, I would like a picture of Morris > in traditional attire, either Angolan or in the military uniform. > > I look forward to seeing your faces on my screen, and then I will help you recover your money for the great peoples of Angola and UNITA! > > -Stephen > > P.S. I AM ALSO STRONGLY CONVINCED THAT ALL USING UPPER CASE LETTERS MAKES MY WRITING MORE EFFECTIVE! And Rosa’s response - > [@](#): > > Dear Stephen, > Thank you for your response to email, i understand you that you want to know us face to face ok, this is the only one we park when the military are trying to kill us so we have to run for our life so this is the onle one we can see ok, i will wait for your response and your telephone number ok, thank you and God bless. > > mrs rosa savimbi > > [She attached some photos! This is number one.](http://www.madcityartists.com/personalpics/419/mypix.jpg) > [number 2.](http://www.madcityartists.com/personalpics/419/rosa&family.jpg) > [Number 3.](http://www.madcityartists.com/personalpics/419/rosa&morris.jpg) So Dopers! How can I extend the charade? Let’s have some fun! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/3 "2004-07-29T19:01:12Z")
Ask her if you can collect your share in Chinese currency. Ask her if she has ever heard of Amway. Ask her if she has accepted Tonya Harding as her Personal Savior. Ask her about your pal, Fred, who’s coming to see her. ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/4 "2004-07-29T19:37:24Z")
**Bosda** - good suggestions, all. I have incorporated them into my response: > [@](#): > > Dearest Rosa, > > Your family is quite beautiful. Morris is a very handsome man. And you, my dear, are stunning. Were i not happily married, I would woo you myself. You look just like a big American celebrity named RuPaul. Have you heard of her? I am of half a mind to convince you to ditch that Morris cat and come live here with me. We would make such love as the poets only dream of! We would be UNITA’d (I am sorry that is a joke in bad taste, told to me by my friend Fred who is advising me on this business opportunity) > > ``` > I have some questions to be asking of you. I will be traveling around the world for business this month, and I maybe we could meet up somewhere in Namibia. I will be having a meeting in Swakopmund. Is that near you? I will be attending a conference there for a client of mine, Amway Inc. Perhaps you have heard of them? I would suggest you try their products, they are most beneficial, especially when avoiding the rebel scum. Many of their products are actually designed to get rid of scum, did you know that? > > ``` > > Anyway, I am most anxious for us to commence our business. I would like for us to try to meet up in Swakopmund, I will be there on August 17, and I will be staying at the Swakopmund Hotel. Maybe we can meet up? The address is NR2 Bahnhofstrasse. My friend Fred will be there sooner, maybe you can meet up with him before that and we can start our business sooner, would you like that? > > As I will be traveling from Namibia to Asia, I would like for you to find a way to change my share of the proceeds into Chinese currency, at the most favorable exchange rate possible. I think that this will be most important and if you can do this we can conclude our business much easier together. > > I look forward to hearing from you! > > Stephen > > PS Oh yes, I forgot to tell you - when you say ‘God Bless’ I am a little bit offended, I do not mind telling you. (I tell you this because I think that we will become good friends, you and me. Don’t you think so? ) I am offended because I am not a Christian person - I follow a different faith. I believe in the divine love and essence of the Great One, TONYAHARDING. Are you familiar with the Earth Mother TONYAHARDING? I would like to tell you more about her, and if you come to accept TONYAHARDING as your personal saviour, i would proabably help you out as a brother in the faith, and I wouldn’t even want to take your money! TONYAHARDING Bless You and Keep You! I will post her response as I receive it. Let’s hear some more ideas, people! ---
**Author:** ![TitoBenito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2acd7d/32.png) [@TitoBenito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TitoBenito)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/5 "2004-07-29T19:39:59Z")
Give your number out as 809-###-####, and thus force them to pay a huge long distance bill. Thus you are [809ing](http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/scams/809.htm#add) the [419er](http://home.rica.net/alphae/419coal/). ---
**Author:** ![TitoBenito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2acd7d/32.png) [@TitoBenito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TitoBenito)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/6 "2004-07-29T19:46:25Z")
You should send this picture of you friend [Fred](http://www.tournamentofroses.com/images/2003-GM-FRED-ROGERS.jpg), so that they will know who he is. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/7 "2004-07-29T19:52:06Z")
> [@TitoBenito](#): > > Give your number out as 809-###-####, and thus force them to pay a huge long distance bill. Thus you are [809ing](http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/scams/809.htm#add) the [419er](http://home.rica.net/alphae/419coal/). The telephone number for the Office of the Attorney General is 202-353-1555. ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/8 "2004-07-29T19:57:26Z")
Yes, I will send a picture of my friend Fred in my next email, I think that is very important. As for the phone numbers, I love the idea of the 809 area code, but it appears that not all of the 809 numbers bill at that rate - only a portion of them. How can I find an expensive one? The AG phone number is funny, but I’m afraid that using that too early might throw them off and cause them to break contact. Now who’s got a good religious picture of the Earth Mother TONYAHARDING? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/9 "2004-07-29T20:00:02Z")
You might use “The West Bank of the Mississippi” as your bank. (Not original, but a nice tradition.) Or you could talk up your character by mentioning your good works with the [Spanish Prisoners’ Advocacy Association](http://www.hidden-knowledge.com/funstuff/spanishprisoner/spanishprisoner.html). 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TitoBenito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2acd7d/32.png) [@TitoBenito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TitoBenito)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/10 "2004-07-29T21:12:53Z")
Page 6 of [this report](http://www.adminresources.com/psa/PSA00035.PDF) will give you a good idea for a number. As for Tonya try this [lovely 80’s one](http://www.abervegas.com/Tanya%20Harding/photo01.jpg) if you want the real Tonya. Or you can just be weird and send a picture of [Queen Amidala](http://www.galactic-voyage.com/images/Phantom%20Menace/Amidala%20on%20throne.jpg) and tell them she is weird your religion’s most holy garments. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/11 "2004-07-29T22:33:42Z")
Or, you could tell her that due to your high-level business connections, you don’t give out your phone number via e-mail. Tell her you will mail it to her. Start pushing her…that it’s important you get things set up quickly, as you may be in the process of looking for a new job come the fall. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/12 "2004-07-30T01:35:28Z")
Here’s a link to another person who decided to fuck with these scammers. It’s actually pretty funny and may have some good ideas for you. Give 'em hell. [http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=411](http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=411) ---
**Author:** ![Lando\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f17d59/32.png) [@Lando\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lando_Griffin)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/13 "2004-07-30T01:46:56Z")
See if they’re interested in a [P-p-p-powerbook](http://69.93.112.102/~pbook/)😃 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/14 "2004-07-30T02:27:40Z")
You people give me bad ideas. I think I’m going to e-mail “my friend” Sarah Rowland from Malaysia. 😃 I will report back if I get a response. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/15 "2004-07-30T19:34:20Z")
Tell her about your scientific experiments in the field of 1920’s Style Death Rays. Offer to build her one, so you can drive th rebels into the sea. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/16 "2004-07-30T19:56:02Z")
You might want to take a look at the kind of stuff [this guy](http://ebolamonkeyman.com/) has done to the scammers. One of the things he does is get them to send him photos of themselves holding up signs that say things like Get Up Flacid Willie and Will U Phystme. My favorite is when he pretended to be a [rap producer](http://ebolamonkeyman.com/soki.htm). He even made up an [album cover](http://ebolamonkeyman.com/images/foeonninealbumcov.jpg) featuring a picture of the scammer. ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/17 "2004-07-30T20:57:05Z")
> [@TitoBenito](#): > > Give your number out as 809-###-####, and thus force them to pay a huge long distance bill. Thus you are [809ing](http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/scams/809.htm#add) the [419er](http://home.rica.net/alphae/419coal/). Of course, one has to make sure that they give a valid number. Otherwise, brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2004, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/18 "2004-07-31T04:16:13Z")
You need to tie in something about [Dihydrogen Monoxide](http://www.dhmo.org/) into your story. Perhaps something about how over exposure to this potentially deadly substance has caused the death of somone in your family? ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2004, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/19 "2004-07-31T05:00:50Z")
I got my first one toady! I am so excited! Here’s what I said: Wow, that sounds fabulous! Please call me at 867-5309. Ask for Jenny. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2004, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456/20 "2004-07-31T06:18:09Z")
Check out [the Spam Letters](http://www.thespamletters.com/search.php?search=Nigerian) for more hilarity courtesy of the Lads From Lagos. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-play-with-my-new-nigerian-friend/257456.md?page=2)