# Let's program a REAL guy TV network **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 10, 2006, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186 "2006-09-10T18:08:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/1 "2006-09-10T18:08:31Z")
Y’know, Spike just isn’t all that. You get past the Bond reruns, and it’s pretty durned dull. Might be a money thing. Or maybe all the other cable networks snagged up all lthe good guy TV type programming. So let’s pretend we’re network execs for a new guy TV programming channel and you have unlimited money and can snag any program you like, current or out of air date. Just one rule. No sports. There’s already four frickin’ ESPN channels or ESPN wannabe channels on my local cable network, we don’t NEED any more frickin’ sports programming. I thought of this while reviewing some of my old videotapes for … reasons … and I discovered that I liked the action adventure series that used to be all over the cable dial back in the late 90s a LOT more than I like what’s on nowadays. So that’s where I’ll start. Feel free to give reasons for your picks and to propose changes that would make a program work better for guys. But don’t get silly. That’s my job. **The Lost World** (Jennifer O’Dell in a leather bikini WITH DINOSAURS. Really frickin’ hard to beat.) **Xena** (I know other groups have staked a claim on this one, but really, hot fighting chicks in skimpy outfits … they could just be waiting for the right guy to come along, really …) **Cleopatra 2525.** Hot fighting chicks in the future. Victoria Pratt. Gina Torres. Jennifer Sky. It’s like they had the FORMULA for hotness. **Birds of Prey.** Put 'em in some skimpy, sexy outfits this time and turn ON the lights when filming. Also get Oracle outta the wheelchair. You can’t see her butt if she’s sitting in a wheelchair all the time. **Dark Angel.** Jessica Alba goodness. 'Nuff said. **Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.** Because hey, Bruce Campbell. **VIP** Pamela Anderson brings her enormous talents to TV. Goodness for all. There’s lots more, but this’ll do for starters. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/2 "2006-09-10T18:49:00Z")
[QUOTE=Evil Captor] **Birds of Prey.** Put 'em in some skimpy, sexy outfits this time and turn ON the lights when filming. Also get Oracle outta the wheelchair. You can’t see her butt if she’s sitting in a wheelchair all the time. [/QUOTE] While I agree that Dina Meyer is a beautiful woman, and while I admit I never saw the Birds of Prey TV show, to say that Oracle needs to get out of the wheelchair is missing the point of the Oracle character. As Batgirl, she was a competent, if redundant heroine – looked good in the tights, but there was nothing she could do that Batman or Nightwing can’t do better. However, as Oracle, she became a force to be reckoned with in DC Comics continuity – an information broker for superheroes, the girl with all the answers, the ultimate brain in a universe populated by detectives and super-intellects. And she’s a librarian by trade, as well as a rare portrayal of a strong, capable, sexy woman who just happens to have a disability, which makes me extra-fond of her character. It doesn’t make much sense that she’d continue to be wheelchair-bound in the same continuity where Batman recovered from a broken back and everyone and their mother walks around with body armor or cybernetics, but it makes her more unique and special just the same, and I’m fine with it. Also, allow me to nominate She-Spies for your channel. Similar to V.I.P. and the Charlie’s Angels movies, it featured a team of three sexy female secret agents led by Natasha Henstridge, in funny, campy adventures. There was a lot of humor in the show, including constant breaking of the fourth wall, and Carlos Jacott (one of the few actors who appeared in Buffy, Angel, and Firefly as different characters) was awesome as their goofy Bosley-esque boss. ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/3 "2006-09-10T19:22:24Z")
One thing is certain. It shows nothing but porn from 11 pm until 7 am. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/4 "2006-09-10T19:28:45Z")
I’m assuming that the rest of the time would be devoted to movies with lots of explosions and car chases, and the occasional showing of \*Brian’s Song \* available for catharthis purposes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/5 "2006-09-10T19:59:44Z")
[QUOTE=Oy!] I’m assuming that the rest of the time would be devoted to movies with lots of explosions and car chases, and the occasional showing of \*Brian’s Song \* available for catharthis purposes. 😃 [/QUOTE] And the Three Stooges. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/6 "2006-09-10T21:02:08Z")
Oops, forgot about them. But then, I’m not a guy, so I don’t have my priorities straight. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/7 "2006-09-10T21:12:59Z")
[QUOTE=Big Bad Voodoo Lou] While I agree that Dina Meyer is a beautiful woman, and while I admit I never saw the Birds of Prey TV show, to say that Oracle needs to get out of the wheelchair is missing the point of the Oracle character. As Batgirl, she was a competent, if redundant heroine – looked good in the tights, but there was nothing she could do that Batman or Nightwing can’t do better. However, as Oracle, she became a force to be reckoned with in DC Comics continuity – an information broker for superheroes, the girl with all the answers, the ultimate brain in a universe populated by detectives and super-intellects. And she’s a librarian by trade, as well as a rare portrayal of a strong, capable, sexy woman who just happens to have a disability, which makes me extra-fond of her character. It doesn’t make much sense that she’d continue to be wheelchair-bound in the same continuity where Batman recovered from a broken back and everyone and their mother walks around with body armor or cybernetics, but it makes her more unique and special just the same, and I’m fine with it. [/quote] Maybe if she sat in a wheelchair made of transparent plastic which she could push by wiggling her butt while still keyboarding … > [@](#): > > Also, allow me to nominate She-Spies for your channel. Similar to V.I.P. and the Charlie’s Angels movies, it featured a team of three sexy female secret agents led by Natasha Henstridge, in funny, campy adventures. There was a lot of humor in the show, including constant breaking of the fourth wall, and Carlos Jacott (one of the few actors who appeared in Buffy, Angel, and Firefly as different characters) was awesome as their goofy Bosley-esque boss. That was one of the ones I was thinking of. I wonder why they always have THREE hot chicks on those shows … ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/8 "2006-09-10T21:22:51Z")
[QUOTE=Push You Down] One thing is certain. It shows nothing but porn from 11 pm until 7 am. [/QUOTE] Well, we kinda run into the ESPN problem here, i.e., there already are whole channels devoted to porn. How about this instead … using the tech described in [this news article](http://www.freedomforum.org/templates/document.asp?documentID=17528) we ADD IN bom chika wow wow scenes to various TV shows and movies that DIDN’T have them before, thus making them more guy friendly. Like, how about instead of the first half of Titanic, we just had 45 minutes of bom chika wow wow between Kate Winslet and, oh, Scarlett Johansen? Or a version of “I Dream of Jeannie” where Jeannie gets it on with … the rest of the cast! INCLUDING Dr. Bellows, he looked like he could use some … ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/9 "2006-09-10T21:24:59Z")
[QUOTE=Oy!] I’m assuming that the rest of the time would be devoted to movies with lots of explosions and car chases, and the occasional showing of \*Brian’s Song \* available for catharthis purposes. 😃 [/QUOTE] I don’t think we’d have room for Brian’s Song what with broadcasting every last SF movie ever made, and all those adventure shows… And oh, yeah, we’ll pick up “Blade” from Spike as well. It’s all right … ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/10 "2006-09-10T21:39:47Z")
I’d infinitely prefer the guy who made [this movie](http://theforce.net/fanfilms/nonsw/grayson/index.asp) (the files are big but well worth it) be given a budget and a 26-episode committment than see _Birds of Prey_ again, which I thought was kinda tedious. Heck, _any_ show where we get to see someone wag a finger in Superman’s face and yell “Stay outta this, Clark!” is worth watching. SDMB discussion of the movie [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=269562), with spoilers. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/11 "2006-09-10T21:45:13Z")
I want Diana Rigg in a catsuit. Some hilarious and rude comedy. And some cookery programs. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/12 "2006-09-10T21:51:40Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] I want Diana Rigg in a catsuit. Some hilarious and rude comedy. And some cookery programs. [/QUOTE] Diana now, or Diana then? I don’t think she quite fills the suit the way she used to. Rude comedy always has a place. “30-Minute Topless Meals with Rachael Ray.” ---
**Author:** ![Scruloose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@Scruloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruloose)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/13 "2006-09-10T21:55:05Z")
3 hours, every afternoon, of women’s college volleyball. If you run it in constant slow motion, I don’t think that, technically, it’s considered “sports”. Oh - and “Get Smart” re-runs. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/14 "2006-09-10T22:03:37Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] Diana now, or Diana then? I don’t think she quite fills the suit the way she used to. [/quote] Ooh. Good point. Then, please, not now. > [@](#): > > “30-Minute Topless Meals with Rachael Ray.” Gotta watch that spitting fat. And definitely no flambé. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/15 "2006-09-10T22:03:58Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] Diana now, or Diana then? I don’t think she quite fills the suit the way she used to. Rude comedy always has a place. “30-Minute Topless Meals with Rachael Ray.” [/QUOTE] Good thought. If we’re gonna have cooking shows the cooks have to be attractive, female, and wearing a thong bikini … at most. ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/16 "2006-09-10T22:30:31Z")
The **Star Trek** reruns it currently shows are probably a pretty shrewd judgment for a guy’s TV network. Maybe some WWII history program borrowed from the History Channel – a constantly cycled run of **“The World at War”** for example. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/17 "2006-09-10T23:03:53Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] “30-Minute Topless Meals with Rachael Ray.” [/QUOTE] “Oops! I spilled EVOO _ALL OVER MYSELF_!!” ROWR! ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/18 "2006-09-10T23:06:27Z")
I also propose a full hour special wherein snips from _Maury_ all run back-to-back… …and all the snips end with the words “You are NOT the father!” ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/19 "2006-09-11T14:52:53Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] I’d infinitely prefer the guy who made [this movie](http://theforce.net/fanfilms/nonsw/grayson/index.asp) (the files are big but well worth it) be given a budget and a 26-episode committment than see _Birds of Prey_ again, which I thought was kinda tedious. Heck, _any_ show where we get to see someone wag a finger in Superman’s face and yell “Stay outta this, Clark!” is worth watching. SDMB discussion of the movie [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=269562), with spoilers. [/QUOTE] We put the guy in charge of the renovated Birds of Prey. I think we need an SF series made by the people who made “The Nebula Rangers.” They’re not listed on the IMDB, maybe because they’re Canadian, but they did wildly imaginative SF on an incredibly tiny budget … think “Youtube video.” Only they got broadcast somehow. Think walls made out of that stuff painters use to keep paint off floors, floating hypnotic devices that consists of a dildo glued to a vacuum cleaner canister and suspended by a wire … cheap fun. But very imaginative plots. They could probably get a show in under budget. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186/20 "2006-09-11T15:15:43Z")
I demand one night a week dedicated to Jackie Chan / Jet Li / Tony Jaa flicks. That’s pretty much all I’d add. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-program-a-real-guy-tv-network/372186.md?page=2)