# Let's recast movie roles **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 16, 2006, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904 "2006-06-16T08:41:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/1 "2006-06-16T08:41:00Z")
What roles might have been better served by a different actor? What roles would have been utterly ruined by a different actor, but in a funny way? [ul] [li] **Keanu Reeves as Rufus T. Firefly** : Really, Keanu Reeves in _any_ Groucho Marx role. It would be hilarious, in a trainwreck OH DEAR GOD NO kinda way, to watch Keanu try to deliver the wordy gags Groucho made seem so natural.[/li][li] **Nathan Lane as Major Alan ‘Dutch’ Schaeffer** : Arnie’s role in _Predator_. Lane’s career (or the part I’ve seen) has been one long gay joke. Bonus points if he manages to work in ‘yoo-hoo’.[/li][li] **Johnny Knoxville as Charles Foster Kane** : Let the desecration begin.[/li][li] **Woody Allen as Humbert Humbert** : Based on a true story.[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/2 "2006-06-16T11:45:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Keanu Reeves as Rufus T. Firefly: Really, Keanu Reeves in any Groucho Marx role. It would be hilarious, in a trainwreck OH DEAR GOD NO kinda way, to watch Keanu try to deliver the wordy gags Groucho made seem so natural. Detective: Practically a Hermit, eh? I notice your table’s set for four. Keanu/Otis B. Driftwood: Whoa! That’s, like, nothing. My alarm clock’s, like, set for ten! … ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/3 "2006-06-16T13:56:00Z")
I’m still a little annoyed that Sharon Stone didn’t get the lead in **Far From Heaven**. Julianna Moore was serviceable, but Sharon Stone would have brought the necessary Hayward/Turner brittle glamour the role needed. I was also godsmacked to read in a recent Tallulah Bankhead bio that she’d been considered for the leads in the films of **A Streetcar Named Desire** and **The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone** , but she was already too unreliable. Damn, you, Tallu, for cheating us of those performances! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/4 "2006-06-16T14:20:44Z")
Christopher Reeve was offered the role of Roberta Muldoon in Garp. I wish he hadn’t turned it down. While watching “House” on Tuesday, I thought “Nobody but Hugh Laurie” could play House. A little voice in my head whispered “Michael J. Fox.” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/5 "2006-06-16T15:09:59Z")
After seeing _White Christmas,_ I found myself wishing some of the Road movies had been made with Danny Kaye rather than Bob Hope as Bing’s sidekick. I’m also really glad they _didn’t_ go with Genevieve Bujold as captain of the Enterprise in STNG. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2006, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/6 "2006-06-16T15:51:51Z")
Chris Farley as Spiderman. Jerry Lewis in Gladiator (just to watch him drop his sword and run from the lions). ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/7 "2006-06-17T01:37:44Z")
**Hampshire** : Good ones. 😃 **Annie-Xmas** : From what little I know about ‘House’, Michael J. Fox would be an … _odd_ choice. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/8 "2006-06-17T02:03:38Z")
Patrick Stewart as Lex Luthor. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/9 "2006-06-17T02:50:25Z")
Christopher Walken as Willy Wonka. ---
**Author:** ![ululate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/59ef9b/32.png) [@ululate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ululate)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/10 "2006-06-17T02:53:33Z")
Dustin Hoffman as Lt. Columbo. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/11 "2006-06-17T02:54:00Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > After seeing _White Christmas,_ I found myself wishing some of the Road movies had been made with Danny Kaye rather than Bob Hope as Bing’s sidekick. > > I’m also really glad they _didn’t_ go with Genevieve Bujold as captain of the Enterprise in STNG. Actually, I think Bujold was originally slated to play Janeway, captain of Voyager. Still, I’m glad she didn’t do that either. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/12 "2006-06-17T04:23:09Z")
John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson as Neo and Morpheus in _The Matrix_ – would’ve been a lot cooler than Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishburne. Instead of Keanu Reeves as the title character in _Constantine_, I would have greatly preferred Daniel Craig, James Marsters, Ewan McGregor, Paul Bettany, Gary Oldman, or even Kiefer Sutherland. Any of them would have been far better in the role (which was originally supposed to be a cynical, bastardly blond-haired Brit). ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/13 "2006-06-17T05:00:24Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson as Neo and Morpheus in _The Matrix_ – would’ve been a lot cooler than Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishburne. > > Instead of Keanu Reeves as the title character in _Constantine_, I would have greatly preferred Daniel Craig, James Marsters, Ewan McGregor, Paul Bettany, Gary Oldman, or even Kiefer Sutherland. Any of them would have been far better in the role (which was originally supposed to be a cynical, bastardly blond-haired Brit). I think you’re missing the point of the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/14 "2006-06-17T06:43:37Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I think you’re missing the point of the thread. Oh no, I was just in a strange mood when I made _my_ list. Recasts that _improve_ movies are just fine by me as well. I haven’t commented on any of them because I don’t know the relevant actors, roles, or both. That’s all. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/15 "2006-06-17T12:31:41Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#): > > Patrick Stewart as Lex Luthor. I would so pay to see that. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/16 "2006-06-17T13:56:08Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I would so pay to see that. I think Kevin Spacey is a much better choice, personally. He can do that smarmy charm better than Stewart could. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/17 "2006-06-17T14:08:02Z")
Pauly Shore **is** Conan the Barbarian! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/18 "2006-06-17T15:51:59Z")
An all Muppet Star Wars! ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/19 "2006-06-17T15:59:44Z")
A all-Muppet _Pulp Fiction._ _Mulpp Fiction._ ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2006, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904/20 "2006-06-17T18:03:24Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > Actually, I think Bujold was originally slated to play Janeway, captain of Voyager. > > Still, I’m glad she didn’t do that either. I think they actually shot the pilot with her. I don’t remember the whole story, something like she was very aloof with the crew, spent her off-camera time in her trailer, and either refused to return to the set or asked to be relieved of her contract. Did she every give a reason? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-recast-movie-roles/360904.md?page=2)