# Let's say I wanted to fight pirates, the Somali kind. **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 20, 2008, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629 "2008-11-20T08:10:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/21 "2008-11-21T03:33:38Z")
The International Chamber of Commerce (Yep, I didn’t know that, either, until now!), has a crime services web site. Specifically, check out the [Live Piracy Map 2008](http://www.icc-ccs.org/index.php?option=com_fabrik&view=visualization&controller=visualization.googlemap&Itemid=89) to find all the baddies. It sure beats the AAA TripTik. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/22 "2008-11-21T04:08:19Z")
Want to rid of the Somali pirates? Take one US Navy cargo ship add paint to make it look like a civilian ship Load one SEAL team Have either a US Destroyer/Frigate/Los Angeles class sub nearby, or if you are really serious a carrier battle group. Have cargo ship sail fat dumb and happy past Somali. Pirates bring their mothership near to the cargo ship and launches their small boats. Cargo ship notifies their back up that the game is afoot. When the small boats come along side to board, SEALS drop grenades into small boats. Bye bye boats. At the same time, the backup launches a Harpoon/torpedo/air strike. Mother ship sinks, bye bye mother ship. Pirates back on shore go 😕 where did our buddies go? Wait a few days, and lather, rinse, repeat. Since there are no survivors of the first attack, you can reuse the same cargo ship as bait. Sooner or later you either run out of pirate mother ships, or pirates. Either way, no more pirate problem. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/23 "2008-11-21T04:19:06Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Thank you all. If I’m ever a fabulously rich playboy with extensive weapons and combat training, I’ll have this thread to refer back to 😃 Just remember to be **prepared** any time you’re puttering around in the Bat-Boat… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/24 "2008-11-21T23:06:44Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Want to rid of the Somali pirates? > Take one US Navy cargo ship add paint to make it look like a civilian ship > Load one SEAL team > Have either a US Destroyer/Frigate/Los Angeles class sub nearby, or if you are really serious a carrier battle group. > Have cargo ship sail fat dumb and happy past Somali. > Pirates bring their mothership near to the cargo ship and launches their small boats. > Cargo ship notifies their back up that the game is afoot. > When the small boats come along side to board, SEALS drop grenades into small boats. Bye bye boats. > At the same time, the backup launches a Harpoon/torpedo/air strike. Mother ship sinks, bye bye mother ship. > Pirates back on shore go 😕 where did our buddies go? > Wait a few days, and lather, rinse, repeat. Since there are no survivors of the first attack, you can reuse the same cargo ship as bait. > Sooner or later you either run out of pirate mother ships, or pirates. > Either way, no more pirate problem. \…pirates got radio. Plan go bye-bye, **Rick** waw down go BOOM!😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/25 "2008-11-22T02:24:44Z")
Pirates don’t got sonar. Radio only works with electricity. Put a [MK 48 ADCAP](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Mark_48_Torpedo_testing.jpg) in the engine room and it is a pretty sure bet that there will be no electricity on board the mother ship. Bye bye mother ship Pirates on shore = 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/26 "2008-11-22T03:42:44Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > I guess a second option would be to form a mercenary group. Well, you could always join [these guys](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7743204.stm) > [@](#): > > Somali Islamist insurgents have begun searching for the pirates who hijacked a giant Saudi-owned oil tanker last Saturday, reports say. A spokesman for the al-Shabab group, Abdelghafar Musa, said hijacking a Muslim-owned ship was a major crime and they would pursue those responsible ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/27 "2008-11-22T16:32:01Z")
Now that’s some jihad we can all get behind… ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/28 "2008-11-23T00:20:50Z")
> [@An\_Arky](#): > > If I was the owner of a ship going through the waters off the coast of Somalia, I would hire a couple of guys, arm them well, and order them to blow the f@cking heads clean off of anyone who comes within 500 yards of my ship. (Excepting, of course, any authorities, etc.) But a large cargo ship, like an oil tanker can be seriously damaged or destroyed by weapons from well beyond 500 yards, so that wouldn’t do you much good. And frankly, I don’t think I would want ‘a couple of guys’ heavily armed, wandering around on my tanker containing $100 million worth of flammable oil! These ‘pirates’ aren’t really stealing the ships and sailing them off somewhere (where could you secretly unload a tanker full of oil anyway?). They are basically capturing them and holding them for ransom, with the threat of destroying them if it’s not paid. And for the owner of a multi-million dollar ship, loaded with millions of dollars worth of cargo, a ransom of a million or two dollars isn’t much. Not compared to the cost of replacing the ship & cargo. And they probably have insurance to cover most of this, anyway. > [@Oakminster](#): > > Buy a yacht. Go sail off the coast of Somalia. Maybe buy a few ads in the Somalia press bragging about all the hookers and blow you have all to yourself on your big fancy yacht. These pirates are interested in money, not hookers & blow. Both of those are readily available in Somalia, at pretty cheap prices. ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/29 "2008-11-23T00:24:41Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > Well, you could always join [these guys](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7743204.stm) Whait a minute. This might actually imply that Western Powers could support the Islamists (supporting Al Qaida) against the pirates. I personally would rather have Pirates off the coast of Somalia, than more money in the hands of Al Qaida. Maybe Western Governments could pay off the pirates and make them fight the Islamists? (and I do wonder who among the owners of the Tanker had some pull with the Islamists) ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/30 "2008-11-23T06:12:55Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Want to rid of the Somali pirates? > Take one US Navy cargo ship add paint to make it look like a civilian ship > Load one SEAL team > Have either a US Destroyer/Frigate/Los Angeles class sub nearby, or if you are really serious a carrier battle group. > Have cargo ship sail fat dumb and happy past Somali. > Pirates bring their mothership near to the cargo ship and launches their small boats. > Cargo ship notifies their back up that the game is afoot. > When the small boats come along side to board, SEALS drop grenades into small boats. Bye bye boats. > At the same time, the backup launches a Harpoon/torpedo/air strike. Mother ship sinks, bye bye mother ship. > Pirates back on shore go 😕 where did our buddies go? > Wait a few days, and lather, rinse, repeat. Since there are no survivors of the first attack, you can reuse the same cargo ship as bait. > Sooner or later you either run out of pirate mother ships, or pirates. > Either way, no more pirate problem. Yeah, and we can win The War on Terror by killing all of the terrorists! Sure, they can recruit and breed more, but all that killing has got to deter them, right? Right? [crickets chirping] ---
**Author:** ![Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee7513/32.png) [@Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crocodiles_And_Boulevards)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/31 "2008-11-23T06:52:30Z")
Maybe companies could start paying Somalian coastal cities to **protect** cargo ships. They could invest in the communities and become such an important part of the local economy that the local people and governments wouldn’t be able to tolerate further piracy. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/32 "2008-11-23T07:57:36Z")
We find out what ports are accepting pirate ships and bomb them to hell. Pretty soon, nobody wants anything to do with the morons. Problem solved. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/33 "2008-11-23T08:02:54Z")
A little bit of genocide never hurt anyone, after all :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/34 "2008-11-23T08:32:10Z")
> [@Crocodiles\_And\_Boulevards](#): > > Maybe companies could start paying Somalian coastal cities to **protect** cargo ships. They could invest in the communities and become such an important part of the local economy that the local people and governments wouldn’t be able to tolerate further piracy. You want to pay the Mafia to protect ships? How is that different than a ransom? Most of these attacks occur in one area and that is easily patrolled on a multi-national level using Global Hawks and a rotating cadre of ships. The deep-ocean hijacks require serious capital investment to engage which means large ships that can be identified and sunk in port. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/35 "2008-11-23T08:47:52Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > A little bit of genocide never hurt anyone, after all :dubious: How the hell is that genocide? It’s attacking the enemy’s logistics, something done in every war ever. Bombing Tokyo and Dresden was far closer to genocide than that plan. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/36 "2008-11-23T10:27:31Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > I imagine the safest is probably to enlist in some sort of navy and work my way up to a specialization in piracy combat. I doubt that would be feasible. You’d need to find a way to prove your loyalty to the government in question, a difficult thing considering that you’re an American whose primary interest is being able to say you killed a pirate. > [@Autolycus](#): > > I guess a second option would be to form a mercenary group. I imagine this is legal in international waters, but what the hell do I know? While highly exciting, I imagine this idea to be stupid and highly dangerous. It’s legal _here_. Armed citizen militias exist within our borders, AIUI, and are probably the most obvious benefactors of the Second Amendment. And then there’s Blackwater. > [@Autolycus](#): > > Are there any other ways? I don’t imagine myself going down this road, but the idea of a gun battle on the high seas excites me, and I wouldn’t mind having some fuel for the imagination. I’m thinking your best bet is to get really good with shotguns at close range, and buff up a little while you’re at it, and then find your way into the employ of a shipping company operating in high-risk passages. You’d be the guy standing right by the edge of the ship, waiting for the pirates to try to board so you could blow them right out of their flippers. You’ll need to be buff for two reasons: first, firing a shotgun repeatedly in a small interval of time is a good way to throw out your shoulder if you’re not physically prepared for it; second, you may need to literally shove or throw someone overboard. > [@WormTheRed](#): > > I personally would rather have Pirates off the coast of Somalia, than more money in the hands of Al Qaida. > > Maybe Western Governments could pay off the pirates and make them fight the Islamists? That’s the kind of thinking that led to the rise of the Taliban, the Baath party, the Communist revolution in Cuba, etc., etc… ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/37 "2008-11-23T10:33:20Z")
[Looks like the U.S. Coast Guard may want to start beefing up its pirate defense after all.](http://www.icc-ccs.org/index.php?option=com_fabrik&c=form&view=details&Itemid=89&fabrik=21&rowid=106&tableid=17&fabrik_cursor=98&fabrik_total=0) ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/38 "2008-11-23T11:09:09Z")
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] Nitpick: marque, not marquise. And no. The right of nations to issue letters of marque was effectively abolished under international law by the 1856 Paris Declaration on Maritime Law and the 1907 Hague Convention. [/QUOTE] Well, technically, the United States _has_ issued a Letter of Marque since then…to the [Goodyear blimp _Resolute_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airship#Second_World_War), between 1941-42, to patrol for submarines off of California. With this obviously iron-clad legal precedent set, I’d say the allure of hunting pirates of the horn of Africa in a dirigible is simple too much to pass up. 🙂 Maybe you could buy a [Zeppelin NT](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeppelin_NT) or a [Skyship 600](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skyship_600) (or two of them, lashed together) and mount a [light gunship system](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alenia_AC-27J) onboard. The loiter time should be pretty darned good, I’d think. Or you could just hire some tramp steamers to cruise through the area, loaded with luxury goods and small-arms ammunition…all lovingly wrapped in used hospital blankets from TB and chickenpox wards. Geneva Convention? We don’t need no stinkin Geneva Convention! ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/39 "2008-11-23T11:25:25Z")
Considering the lack of armor inherent in a dirigible gunship, would the kind of firepower available to your average (or high-end) Somali pirate boat be able to take it down? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629/40 "2008-11-23T12:40:30Z")
> [@Hostile\_Dialect](#): > > Considering the lack of armor inherent in a dirigible gunship, would the kind of firepower available to your average (or high-end) Somali pirate boat be able to take it down? Meditate, Grasshopper, on the effect of altitude in this equation. Bullets travel _downwards_ better than they travel _upwards_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-say-i-wanted-to-fight-pirates-the-somali-kind/473629.md?page=3)