# Let's see how many wrong and insulting assumptions we can fit into just four words! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 30, 2002, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388 "2002-08-30T23:54:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/41 "2002-08-31T18:19:31Z")
Coldy, it’s gone much further than that- already, in seedy backalleys, people are using lone homosexuals _as bait for homophobes!_ To see the tear in his eye and hear the wavering voice as the plucky lone homosexual sings “no business like show business” until the phobes begin to circle, then the terror as he is pulled to safety while the hunters move in and beat the homophobes to death with clubs, ah, it’s too much. It needs to be stopped now. Well, other than the clubbing bit. b. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/42 "2002-08-31T18:37:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MGibson \* > **So what’s your fascination with the metro system?** It’s like Trainspotting for sober people? ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/43 "2002-08-31T18:49:38Z")
Not to mention the homo mills, where herds of the poor creatures are raised in miserable conditions before being shipped to the shops for resale. This form of breeding results in genetic problems like splayed hocks, faulty withers and a taste for country decor. Thank God we have people like Ted Turner spending millions to help restore the free-ranging queer herds on his millions of acres in Montana. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/44 "2002-08-31T19:12:26Z")
I have so many questions. So like, are you allowed to feed the queers at the zoo? And what do they eat? Are there any rare specimen? So much have we to learn… [sub]I HEART you guys![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/45 "2002-08-31T19:31:33Z")
What’s worse is when some well-meaning dad buys his son a nice, new homosexual, and the kid just flushes it down the toilet when he gets bored with it. “Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/46 "2002-08-31T19:34:05Z")
Thankfully, through the efforts of dedicated volunteers and the unblinking eye of the media, poaching on designated homosexual free-range areas has been reduced to an all-time low. In other news, homosexual conservationist forces are said to be massing on the borders of Topeka, with nasty gleams in their eyes. (sigh…in a perfect world…) ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/47 "2002-08-31T19:58:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\* > Are there any rare specimen? > > \*\* [These](http://www.lcr.org/) guys seem like an endangered species…perhaps a telethon is in order? ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/48 "2002-08-31T22:00:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*So like, are you allowed to feed the queers at the zoo? \*\* _channeling Homer Simpson_ When the sign says “Do Not Feed the Queers,” maan, _you better not feed the queers!_ ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/49 "2002-08-31T22:04:17Z")
What’s even more appalling is when a family gets itself a homosexual for the summer and then when they head back to their mundane everyday life, they realize that Biffy simply won’t fit in the apartment! So they dump their homosexual and they roam around small towns in wild, feral packs! This is how Fire Island and P-town got started, as you all know. ---
**Author:** ![Fifteen\_Iguana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Fifteen\_Iguana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fifteen_Iguana)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/50 "2002-08-31T22:38:12Z")
Gee, I was working on the title of the thread. How many wrong and insulting assumptions can you fit into four words? How about: Still tricking for OxyContin? ---
**Author:** ![JS\_Princeton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/57b2e6/32.png) [@JS\_Princeton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JS_Princeton)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2002, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/51 "2002-08-31T23:51:33Z")
> [@](#): > > So they dump their homosexual and they roam around small towns in wild, feral packs! I hear tell, though, of homosexuals that have instinctive homing abilities. There are even documented cases where loyal homosexuals have traveled clear across the country with nothing but their instincts to guide them. There’s also a few Disney movies based on these true stories. ---
**Author:** ![New\_Improved\_Scott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f17d59/32.png) [@New\_Improved\_Scott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Improved_Scott)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2002, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/52 "2002-09-01T00:23:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by manhattan \* > \*\*Who was the comedian who had a routine about that? “They should round up all the homosexuals and put them on an island.” > > “They did. You’re on it!” \*\* It was from the movie “Boiler Room”, the scene in the restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![Potter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Potter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Potter)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2002, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/53 "2002-09-01T01:20:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*By all means. However, the entrance fee is one **potter**. Please be sure to bring him with you when you come as **potters** are not convertible currency at most banks in Canada. \*\* 😃 Ahh, but you’re forgetting the blackmarket value of organically produced, quality Home Counties Grade-A Queer rump. Providing you know the right people, **potters** have a trade-in value of, oh, whole _dollars_. Unmarked bills, for preference. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2002, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/54 "2002-09-01T02:29:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\* > > Now what I’m gonna do is… sneak up behind him and jam my finger up his butthole… \*\* There’s even an interactive video training simulation to help improve your odds: [Boong-Ga Boong-Ga](http://www.wired.com/news/games/0,2101,48438,00.html). ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2002, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/55 "2002-09-01T16:05:09Z")
The other day I was watching the Discovery Channel, and they had a lovely special on the free-range homosexuals. The commentary was heartwarming: “Look at this pack of young homosexuals, their tails waving in the wind… wait, those aren’t… um, isn’t the scenerly lovely?” ---
**Author:** ![xcheopis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bc8723/32.png) [@xcheopis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xcheopis)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2002, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/56 "2002-09-01T19:34:33Z")
Here in California, we have instituted a Catch-and-Release program. A homosexual in an isolated area is transported here, acclimated to his/her own kind and then released back into the native habitat, confident to identify others of its kind. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2002, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/57 "2002-09-01T19:54:14Z")
Inspired by the ambition,courageousness and indeed “Will To Live” of homosexuals around this country, I’ve decided to begin a “Adopt A Homosexual” program. For just thirty dollars a month YOU can have your very own homosexual (they come in male AND female!), and know that your money goes to purchase entry into cabaret shows and winetastings, as well as memberships in local softball leagues and tickets to Ani DiFranco contests. Watch your homosexual grow with photographs and flowery, superlative laden letters with little hearts dotting the i’s. You TOO can help the homosexuals in Chicago and beyond. please make your checks out to CASH and send them directly to me, and I promise to take some homosexuals to My Big Fat Greek Wedding next weekend. J ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2002, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/58 "2002-09-01T20:12:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by adam yax \* > \*\*Why have I never seen any of this on _Wild Kingdom_? Should I be looking for _Wild Queendom_ instead? \*\* [Marlin Perkins] I’ll stay on the metro while Jim goes and wrestles the homosexual to the ground. Jim has to be careful not to get too close the magnificient beast’s, er… oh, my… Well, just as the wild homosexual cares for its mate, Mutual of Omaha cares for you. [/Marlin Perkins] ---
**Author:** ![dinahmoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dinahmoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dinahmoe)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2002, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/59 "2002-09-01T20:20:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*What’s worse is when some well-meaning dad buys his son a nice, new homosexual, and the kid just flushes it down the toilet when he gets bored with it. > > \*\* Then, in the sewers, they mutate into giant albino drag queens:) ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2002, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388/60 "2002-09-01T20:33:46Z")
Did you guys see that horrible spoof website…Bonsai Homosexuals? Just the pictures of those poor, sweet creatures twisted into odd pretzel positions with each other made a tear come to my eye…and the creator was even cruel enough to force these big goofy grins on their faces as they were forced to grow intertwined with one another… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-see-how-many-wrong-and-insulting-assumptions-we-can-fit-into-just-four-words/126388.md?page=4)