# Let's start collecting ludicrous, for-show and busywork security measures **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 19, 2003, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462 "2003-03-19T04:21:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/61 "2003-04-09T17:34:34Z")
There have actually been awards given out for the sort of thing being dicsussed in this thread. Privacy International has just announced its Stupid Security Contest Winners, which include: > [@](#): > > **Most Egregiously Stupid Award** > > Winner - The Australian Government for a litany of pointless, irritating and self-serving security measures > > Runner-Up - Moscow Mayor Yury Luzhkov for the “Propiska” Identity Papers > > **Most Inexplicably Stupid Award** > > Winner - Philadelphia International Airport for over-reaction to a bottle of cologne > > Runner-Up - Heathrow Airport for quarantining a quantity of green tea > > **Most Annoyingly Stupid Award** > > Winner - T-Mobile (UK) for pointless and idiotic financial security measures > > Runner-Up - Bay Area Rapid Transport (Bart) for closing its restrooms. > > **Most Flagrantly Intrusive Award** > > Winner - Delta Terminal at JFK Airport for forcing a nursing mother to drink her own breast milk > > Runner-Up - Carson City Correctional Facility, Michigan for forcing women visitors to wear bras. > > **Most Stupidly Counter Productive Award** > > Winner - San Francisco General Hospital for blind idiocy in its identity checking procedures > > Runner-Up San Francisco International Airport for endangering the public > > **Dishonourable Mention** > > The New Yorker Hotel, New York for aggressive, unnecessary and meaningless security measures. A full account of each of these incidents can be found [here](http://www.privacyinternational.org/activities/stupidsecurity/winners.html). If you want a full list of nominees in each category, go [here](http://www.privacyinternational.org/activities/stupidsecurity/) and scroll halfway down the page to the five links. ---
**Author:** ![Kiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Kiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiger)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/62 "2003-04-09T18:16:59Z")
Let’s see… my coworker had knee surgery and was on crutches (metal). He got wanded everyday because he, of course, set off the metal detector. They also wanted him to remove his pants so they could be sure that he really had staples in his leg. Right after 9/11 they were searching coffee cups and one guy told me they had “fingered his sandwich.” I won’t say what company I work for, but I’d bet it’s not particulary high on a terrorist hit list. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/63 "2003-04-09T20:40:33Z")
“For the safety of our patrons and staff, oversided purses and other bags are no longer permitted inside Blah’s Cinema.” Printed on a paper festooned with waving flags. :rolleyes: Thank you, Wise Theater Management Persons, for saving us from the terror of reasonably priced candy and soft drinks. ---
**Author:** ![T.Slothrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@T.Slothrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T.Slothrop)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/64 "2003-04-10T19:30:50Z")
* * * Originally posted by Tuckerfan: I bet there’s no extra precautions being taken at what’s the best target in this state: The Jack Daniels Distillery! * * * In order to protect this national treasure, I think we must raise the security level of the entire nation. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/65 "2003-04-10T21:51:47Z")
**mhendo** beat me to the link by 4 hours. Curses! I think the airport security guards who forced a woman to drink her own breast milk :eek: deserved to win something though. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/66 "2003-04-10T22:38:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tapioca Dextrin \* > \*\ ***mhendo** beat me to the link by 4 hours. Curses!. \*\* [nitpick] **1 day** and 4 hours. 🙂 [/nitpick] ---
**Author:** ![Sxyzzx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sxyzzx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sxyzzx)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/67 "2003-04-18T01:42:28Z")
The building where I work is now requiring everyone who leaves the office after 6PM to show ID and sign their name. I take great pleasure in walking right past the guards, knowing that they know they can’t stop me for fear of a false arrest lawsuit. The policy seems useless, since anyone who isn’t supposed to be there will do the same. Are there any other buildings doing the same thing? ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/68 "2003-09-10T18:04:06Z")
In honor of the second anniversary of 9-11 I’m reviving this old thread. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/69 "2003-09-10T19:42:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by PatrickM \* > \*\*I get a laugh out of “security measures” at sporting events. For instance, at Gund Arena in Cleveland spectators are required to open their coats and show their car keys and cell phones to a security guard before going through the turnstiles. For the life of me I have no idea how this protects anyone. \*\* It protects them from the terrible threat of some terrorist out to wreck the economy by sneaking in their own can of pop or beer, instead of paying the outrageous inflated prices they charge at the Arena. Same thing happens at the HHH Dome here in Minneapolis, but they’re pretty open about what they are searching for. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/70 "2003-09-10T20:03:48Z")
A friend works for a local company that recently tightened their requirements for company id badges. No longer acceptable to have them with you, they must be visibly worn (and specifically on the upper left chest area). So one night, a bunch of us were listening to him complaining about this. We persuaded him (with help from a few beers) to go to the nearest copy shop, where the staff helped us scan, print and laminate an identical-looking ID badge. They even downloaded a color picture of Marilyn Monroe to use on the badge. Now our friend is a big, brawny, black dude – over 6 feet tall and probably 250+ pounds, mostly muscle. But he says he’s been wearing this ID badge around the company for a while now, and nobody seems to notice at all. ---
**Author:** ![sultana\_of\_slash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@sultana\_of\_slash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sultana_of_slash)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/71 "2003-09-10T21:01:39Z")
An acquaintance on the force used to give bomb detection and disarmament training lectures. En route to give a lecture at a naval base. Stopped by the guard at the entrance. Warns him, “There are bomb materials in the trunk.” Guy goes, opens trunk, examines, comes back, says “Where?” He had lifted up dynamite, C-whatever it’s called (the modern shoe explosive), and canisters of liquids without noticing them. Acquaintance says, “They’re the ones wrapped in their government-issued warning sheets.” I feel so safe… ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/72 "2003-09-10T21:39:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sultana of slash \* > \*\*An acquaintance on the force used to give bomb detection and disarmament training lectures. En route to give a lecture at a naval base. Stopped by the guard at the entrance. Warns him, “There are bomb materials in the trunk.” Guy goes, opens trunk, examines, comes back, says “Where?” > > He had lifted up dynamite, C-whatever it’s called (the modern shoe explosive), and canisters of liquids without noticing them. > > Acquaintance says, “They’re the ones wrapped in their government-issued warning sheets.” > > I feel so safe… \*\* Wow. That’s scary. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![MetalDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@MetalDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MetalDog)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/73 "2003-09-11T00:18:35Z")
About a year ago, they decided to plonk some tanks down at London Heathrow. Tanks. We were all trying to think of a terrorist threat at LAP to which the appropriate response would be a tank. Best we could come up with was if the terrorists all ran in a straight line out in the open, maybe it could squash them. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/74 "2003-10-23T19:20:25Z")
A Headscratcher Award goes to the Northern California Renaissance Faire, where us participants had elaborate laminated full-color computer-printed photo IDs with various endorsements on the back, which were printed on label stock that had a varnish overprint with the Faire logo - making it all but impossible for someone to duplicate the labels. This was an event held on 20 acres of very dry and dusty land about 15 miles from the nearest small town. Guess they wanted to be sure Osama and pals didn’t set up shop behind an ale stand. Who knows what they could have done at the joust? ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/75 "2003-10-23T19:36:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gotpasswords \* > \*\*Guess they wanted to be sure Osama and pals didn’t set up shop behind an ale stand. Who knows what they could have done at the joust? \*\* Maybe they thought there were some leftovers from the Crusades hiding out at your Festival. Was the ghost of Richard the Lion-Hearted there in disguise, maybe? Ha! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/76 "2003-10-23T22:21:40Z")
Hrm. The company where I work (I’d better not name it, I suppose) issued everyone, at considerable expense, with photo IDs. A month or two later these were replaced – at even more considerable expense – with new, identical, photo IDs. We are expected to carry these IDs with us everywhere, at all times. These photo IDs are never used. Not for anything. We are never asked to show them. At all. Ever. Ain’t paranoia wonderful? ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/77 "2004-01-06T13:12:39Z")
> [@](#): > > McGanny said that when she asked the guards why they were putting her through the ordeal, they explained, “There could be explosives in the baby bottles and I could throw something at the stewardesses.” ``` This is beyond ridiculous... I guess Air Marshalls are trained to deal with rampaging and bottle flinging nursing mothers aren't they ? ``` ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/78 "2004-01-10T19:19:06Z")
Apparently, buying Micro$oft’s Flight Simulator program [will now get you a visit from the authorities.](http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/28/34776.html) :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > So alarmed was the Staples clerk at the prospect of the ten year old learning to fly, that he informed the police, the Greenfield Recorder reports. The authorities moved into action, leaving nothing to chance. A few days later, Olearcek was alarmed to discover a state trooper flashing a torch into to her home through a sliding glass door at 8:30 pm on a rainy night. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/79 "2004-01-10T20:03:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ITR champion \* > \*\* > A maximum of one entrance for each building will be unlocked at any time. Note that this entrance doesn’t have to be guarded, so there’s nothing to stop a terrorist from just entering through that one entrance. Also there’s the issue of dorms where the doors for each room open directly to outside. I don’t see how they plan to get away with only on entrance open in such buildings. \*\* You forgot the best part. On all the doors that are now locked, but used to be open, there are signs with directions posted to let delivery people know which doors are now unlocked :rolleyes: When this was first implemented, one of the professors went around for several days wearing an aluminum-foil hat and posted signs on all those doors that said: “Terrorists: Please do not read any other signs on these doors!” ---
**Author:** ![occ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8c91f0/32.png) [@occ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/occ)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462/80 "2004-01-10T20:35:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Quack \* > \*\*I’m a little sick of being frisked. Every time you go to a concert or something, they frisk you. Maybe they’ve always done this at big public events, I don’t know. I’ve just recently started going to concerts and stuff, but being frisked is getting old. Who’s going to open fire on a mosh pit? \*\* That’s more for the drugs and booze and outside food and recording equipment, I’d warrant. The bane of eventgoers everywhere. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-collecting-ludicrous-for-show-and-busywork-security-measures/162462.md?page=5)