# Lets start some GM (Government Motors?) rumors... **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [June 2, 2009, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-some-gm-government-motors-rumors/498441 "2009-06-02T01:44:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2009, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-some-gm-government-motors-rumors/498441/1 "2009-06-02T01:44:36Z")
Now that the U.S. Government has a controlling stake in General Motors (or is it Government Motors now? 😉 ) lets start some amusing, yet plausible rumors… If you have a GM vehicle with OnStar, you better pull the fuse and disable it, now that Big Brother owns GM, it can use it’s Brain-Scanning-Laser Satellites to network with OnStar to find out not only where you are, but where you’re going, how fast you’re going, how much carbon emissions your vehicle is creating, and what your fuel mileage is, this data will be gathered and stored, used to increase your tax bills every year until GM pays off the government loans They also will keep track of where you’re going, if you make a lot of trips to “undesirable” places, like sporting-goods stores, shooting ranges, Republican conventions, etc…, you will be flagged as a “Potential Domestic Terrorist” (PDT) If the police need to pull you over to take you into custody for “Re-Ned-ucation”, they can use OnStar’s Stolen Vehicle Slowdown feature to bring the vehicle to a halt, they can use the Remote (Un)Locking feature to keep you safely contained in your vehicle while they flatbed it to the local copshop… Yes, better disable your OnStar, you have been warned, oh, wait, there’s someone at the door, hold on… No!, THEYVE COME FOR ME, HELP, SOMEBODY CALL THE COP…D’OH… DISCONNECT YOUR ONSTAR, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, IT’S TOO LATE FOR ME, SAVE YOURSELF, SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!.. \*\*\*Attention GM customers, this is your local Government Motors representative, the post you have just read is the delusional ramblings of a PDT, pay it no attention, your OnStar service _IS NOT_ being used to track your activities, it is simply a useful auto club service, you do not need to disable it, disabling OnStar is not permitted under New GM Management, besides, you like it, it’s convenient and keeps you safe Remember, we’re from the Government, we’re here to _help_…\*\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2009, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-some-gm-government-motors-rumors/498441/2 "2009-06-02T01:52:18Z")
The Chevrolet Cobalt is a perfectly good automobile. Okay, that one will _never_ fly. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2009, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-some-gm-government-motors-rumors/498441/3 "2009-06-02T01:52:45Z")
When the government replaces your Silverado with a solar-powered shopping cart, you won’t care what OnStar says. Although I understand the all-new Cadillac Comrade is supposed to be a sweet ride. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2009, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-some-gm-government-motors-rumors/498441/4 "2009-06-02T02:30:55Z")
It is true that the company will have to be renamed. The top candidate so far is American Leyland. ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2009, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-some-gm-government-motors-rumors/498441/5 "2009-06-02T02:33:14Z")
You guys have it all wrong. Now is the best chance we have of lobbying the White House for a Batmobile that runs on, I dunno, guano or something. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2009, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-some-gm-government-motors-rumors/498441/6 "2009-06-02T03:44:44Z")
> [@Mr.Moto](#): > > It is true that the company will have to be renamed. The top candidate so far is American Leyland. Most people probably won’t get this, but trust me, it wins the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2009, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-some-gm-government-motors-rumors/498441/7 "2009-06-02T03:47:08Z")
> [@Mr.Moto](#): > > It is true that the company will have to be renamed. The top candidate so far is American Leyland. Brilliant. That means eventually it will be owned by Honda… ---
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2009, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-some-gm-government-motors-rumors/498441/8 "2009-06-02T05:03:13Z")
Oprah Part Deux EVERYBODY GETS A CAR. And I Mean that literally this time! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2009, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-some-gm-government-motors-rumors/498441/9 "2009-06-02T12:52:42Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Most people probably won’t get this, but trust me, it wins the thread. Rumors that Ron Gettelfinger is changing his name to Red Robbo are unconfirmed at this late date. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2009, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-start-some-gm-government-motors-rumors/498441/10 "2009-06-02T13:21:27Z")
> [@Mr.Moto](#): > > Rumors that Ron Gettelfinger is changing his name to Red Robbo are unconfirmed at this late date. OOOOO good one! Even more obscure.