# Let's talk about cannibalism **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 1, 2009, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448 "2009-01-01T06:34:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/41 "2009-01-01T22:05:01Z")
**Magickly Delicious**? ---
**Author:** ![Zygomide](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zygomide](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zygomide)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2009, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/42 "2009-01-01T22:06:57Z")
I think I’d be about a 63. I don’t have a mental objection to eating somebody dead, but if I and someone else were still alive I would try to work with them to get out of the situation. Especially if they were my friend. Edit: I think Muffin sounds pretty tasty, myself. ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2009, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/43 "2009-01-01T22:14:15Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > =. It would put me one up on Andrew Zimmerman. Did you mean [Andrew Zimmern](http://www.andrewzimmern.com)? I love that guy! I think I’d be about a 90. A little reluctant but able to do what was necessary and I’m an adventurous enough eater that it wouldn’t make me gag or anything. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2009, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/44 "2009-01-01T22:17:15Z")
Clowns taste funny. 150. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2009, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/45 "2009-01-01T22:43:56Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Well, it never happens to the average person. It happens to people like the Donner Party and the Packer Party. Presumably they were average people, no? I’m curious whether that reflects, in any way, the masses. Surely there have been more than just a couple of situations similar to theirs, where cannibalism either did or did not occur? ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2009, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/46 "2009-01-01T23:21:24Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Snap poll: > > Who would be the tastiest Doper? **Muffin!** ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2009, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/47 "2009-01-01T23:22:35Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > If you cooked him, he’d be Robert Browning. > > If you overcooked him, he’d be Bobbie Burns. Oooooh. Ouch. Those puns were poet best. But it _was_ a double, did you get those at a Byron, get one free sale? I think the tastiest doper would be **Satifying Andy Licious**. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/48 "2009-01-02T01:35:08Z")
**featherlou** , would it violate any of your Charter rights to tell us what you had for dinner over the holidays? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/49 "2009-01-02T01:37:58Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Snap poll: > > Who would be the tastiest Doper? **Muffin** would be tasty, but there’s nothing like a little **Unauthorized Cinnamo** n to get the taste buds dancing! ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/50 "2009-01-02T01:45:00Z")
Two cannibals are eating a missionary. One starts at the head, the other at the feet. After a while, the one at the head asks his buddy, “How you doing down there?” Buddy says, “I’m having a ball!” First cannibal says, “SLOW DOWN, DAMMIT!” I openly advocate cannibalism in a way. I teach self-defense classes and one of the things we teach is to bite the hell out of your assailant. Our mantra is “Bad guys taste like chicken!”. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/51 "2009-01-02T02:48:42Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > I openly advocate cannibalism in a way. I teach self-defense classes and one of the things we teach is to bite the hell out of your assailant. Our mantra is “Bad guys taste like chicken!”. … and getting their fluids in your mouth can never spread horrible diseases like Hepatitis-C or AIDS? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/52 "2009-01-02T04:11:31Z")
I would not kill another person to survive myself. I think that those who do have written themselves out of the human race. Nobody has the right to survive that way. But, as in the case of those soccer players in the mountains, down in South America, I think that consuming the _already dead_ bodies of their fellow team members was perfectly acceptable. Even their priests told them it wasn’t a sin, and I agree with that. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/53 "2009-01-02T05:09:49Z")
Those of you with answers of 90+, how about this scenario: You’re washed up on a deserted tropical island, no reasonable assumption that you’ll be rescued. There is stuff to eat, but, you know, hunting and gathering is a pain. Another person washed up with you, and dies of some injury a few days later. You won’t starve, probably, if you don’t eat him. Do you anyway? ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/54 "2009-01-02T05:13:57Z")
> [@Savannah](#): > > On the bright side, I’m fat, so I’ve got quite a bit of stored resources to help me postpone the first meal of long pig. Or the others would look you over and you’d be the first one to go. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/55 "2009-01-02T06:25:43Z")
> [@Renee](#): > > Those of you with answers of 90+, how about this scenario: > > You’re washed up on a deserted tropical island, no reasonable assumption that you’ll be rescued. There is stuff to eat, but, you know, hunting and gathering is a pain. > > Another person washed up with you, and dies of some injury a few days later. You won’t starve, probably, if you don’t eat him. Do you anyway? If there’s no need, there’s no need. ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/56 "2009-01-02T06:37:57Z")
> [@Renee](#): > > Those of you with answers of 90+, how about this scenario: > > You’re washed up on a deserted tropical island, no reasonable assumption that you’ll be rescued. There is stuff to eat, but, you know, hunting and gathering is a pain. > > Another person washed up with you, and dies of some injury a few days later. You won’t starve, probably, if you don’t eat him. Do you anyway? It depends, I wouldn’t go out of my way to eat a human, especially one that’s been dead an unknown amount of time. Who knows what nasty stuff grows in the human body (I’m sure someone does… please, enlighten us), and what stuff festers there after it’s been dead for a while. If there’s other foods on the Island, for me, I don’t have a problem hunting/gathering. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/57 "2009-01-02T07:18:35Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > **featherlou** , would it violate any of your Charter rights to tell us what you had for dinner over the holidays? We had meat; lots of juicy, tender meat. Mmmm, meat. I hadn’t really thought of killing people to eat them; I was sort of envisioning other people kind of keeling over thoughtfully. I think if I had to kill someone else to eat them, my score would go way down. On the other hand, if I was stranded as a result of an accident or something and there were corpses all around me, I think I’d be smoking or drying those babies pretty damned quickly. Hate to let potential protein go to waste. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/58 "2009-01-02T08:00:28Z")
> [@Renee](#): > > Those of you with answers of 90+, how about this scenario: > > You’re washed up on a deserted tropical island, no reasonable assumption that you’ll be rescued. There is stuff to eat, but, you know, hunting and gathering is a pain. More than that - hunting is really fucking hard, especially for people who have never done it before. And a desert island scenario (unless it’s like \*Lost \*and there are an inexplicable number of firearms around) pretty much guarantees you won’t have a nice store of weapons ready made. Could you carve, straighten and fire harden a spear strong enough yet light enough to help you kill a boar? Could you track and find a boar when you were ready? I bet I couldn’t, not on my first ten tries. And gathering? How many people could correctly identify a passionfruit, much less an exotic edible orchid? I think a wiser use of my labors might be making a fire bow, starting a fire, and making Tourist Jerky out of my fellow passengers. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/59 "2009-01-02T08:17:17Z")
Put me down as a 1. Or if there’s bacon salt available make that 100 ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2009, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448/60 "2009-01-02T15:21:21Z")
I’m like a 110, I’m surprised I haven’t eaten someone already. Suppose babies taste like veal? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-cannibalism/479448.md?page=2)