# Let's talk about my cock **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 24, 2012, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068 "2012-12-24T22:58:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2012, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/1 "2012-12-24T22:58:16Z")
Made you look! We will be taking about a cock, and possession being 9/10 of something or other, he may even be mine. I own some property a few hours’ drive from where I actual live (I’d rather not own it, but that’s for the Pit, not GQ). I don’t get up here often, usually only on holidays because it’s near some of my relatives and it makes for easy visiting. I was last here about a month ago.🙂 This morning I discovered that someone has built a makeshift chicken coop in the backyard. When I went to investigate, I was roundly chastised by [this guy](http://i587.photobucket.com/albums/ss320/cwthree/20121224_092115.jpg). The man who keeps an eye on the place tells me that a neighbor has been taking care of this feral (Escaped? Abandoned? Discarded? ) rooster. She called the humane society and they won’t take him, so she’s been caring for him. Why she set up shop in my yard, I have no idea. Can anyone tell me what kind of cock I have here? He appears to be small, as domestic fowl go. I think he’s bigger than the bantam cock at the barn where I had my horse, but he seems smaller than my sister’s Rhode Island Red hens. I’m going to try to get someone to re-home him. I don’t want a pet rooster, and I can’t imagine he’s good for much besides making chicks or turning into dinner. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2012, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/2 "2012-12-24T23:00:02Z")
That’s a very impressive cock. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2012, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/3 "2012-12-24T23:02:08Z")
I’d be suspicious of all those people. Sounds like a cock ring to me. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2012, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/4 "2012-12-24T23:06:19Z")
I had araucana chickens once, and the cock looked like [this](http://www.ameraucana.org/scrapbook_files/wheatenm.jpg), which kind of looks like the one in your picture. If you had a hen, it would be easier to tell, because they lay green eggs. (No ham, though.) ETA: Araucanas can be small, like you described – bigger than a bantam but smaller than standard. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2012, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/5 "2012-12-24T23:09:30Z")
Best thread title I’ve seen in a while. 🙂 **cwthree** , is the rooster in the coop, or wandering around the yard? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2012, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/6 "2012-12-24T23:11:29Z")
You know what’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky, you use just a feather. Perverted, you use the whole chicken ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/7 "2012-12-25T00:13:14Z")
Where are you? If you are near enough to connecticut we would be happy to take the critter, our last cock died so all we have is hens [well and geese and guinea fowl, but they don’t really interact with the hens] ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/8 "2012-12-25T00:16:49Z")
you’ve got a small pecker. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/9 "2012-12-25T00:37:29Z")
As a special Christmas gift for you, I have searched out your address and phone number and placed the following ad on Craig’s list: “I have a big, beautiful cock - and looking to place it somewhere safe and warm. Free!” No need to thank me for all the upcoming calls and people stopping by your house. Happy Holidays! ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/10 "2012-12-25T00:38:56Z")
Thanks for the replies, one and all. **Aruvquan** , the rooster is in Wisconsin. While that’s closer to Connecticut than, say, Beijing, I doubt that it qualifies as “nearby.” Thank you for your offer, though. **Freckafree** , I could believe he’s an araucana. cwSpouse suggested that he’s a discarded 4-H project, and I recall from my 4-H days that araucanas are popular project birds. **EmilyG** , my neighbor built a coop (without my knowledge or permission) in my yard. I assume he’s taking shelter in there when he’s not sitting in my pine tree. The coop is made from a couple of huge dog crates bedded with straw and covered with a couple of layers of tarp. It looks very secure and it’s probably quite safe and comfortable. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/11 "2012-12-25T02:42:14Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > Best thread title I’ve seen in a while. 🙂 It would have been better if it had been a [white silkie](http://shop.gabbardhatchingeggs.com/products/white-silkie-day-old-chicks) cock. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/12 "2012-12-25T03:36:08Z")
> [@freckafree](#): > > It would have been better if it had been a [white silkie](http://shop.gabbardhatchingeggs.com/products/white-silkie-day-old-chicks) cock. THAT is an impressive cock! Never seen a white cock that big! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/13 "2012-12-25T03:41:32Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > Best thread title I’ve seen in a while. 🙂 It would have been even better had there also been a bull wandering around the yard. It would have made for a good cock and bull story. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/14 "2012-12-25T03:51:33Z")
> [@NitroPress](#): > > I’d be suspicious of all those people. Sounds like a cock ring to me. Early win. I see no reason to continue reading after this post. ---
**Author:** ![Stealth\_Potato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Stealth\_Potato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stealth_Potato)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/15 "2012-12-25T03:53:37Z")
Well! After that title, most disappointing thread ever, I say. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/16 "2012-12-25T04:23:25Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > THAT is an impressive cock! Never seen a white cock that big! > [@cochrane](#): > > It would have been even better had there also been a bull wandering around the yard. It would have made for a good cock and bull story. 😃 I love you both and want to bear your children. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/17 "2012-12-25T04:39:07Z")
This whole thread is exactly why we were forced to begin calling the male Gallus domesticus a rooster. Hmph. You could have what is called a “barnie” – sort of the equivalent of barn cats, they are chickens that hang out around a farm for generations (of chickens). if you are clever enough you can find their eggs, but they fly well, roost in trees at night, and make their own marital arrangements. They are usually very hard to catch unless you grab them at night while they’re sleeping. They tend to revert to the original colors – muted browns for the hens, your cock’s coloring for the . . . males. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/18 "2012-12-25T06:44:19Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > It would have been even better had there also been a bull wandering around the yard. It would have made for a good cock and bull story. 😃 Uhhh… Good combination username / post content? Having a good cock and bull would be unproductive. Try cock and cow, or hen and bull. Anyway, what would the babies be like? > [@What Type of Factory Makes Milk?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-type-of-factory-makes-milk/635373/91): > > (And I think, if you cross a cow with a chicken and feed the babies cinnamon pine cones, they will produce egg-nog.) ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/19 "2012-12-25T08:30:37Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > Made you look! Dick ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068/20 "2012-12-25T15:24:03Z")
The difference between my cock and the OP’s is that mine makes the girls go “Cock-a-doodle-doo!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-my-cock/645068.md?page=2)