# Let's Talk about Self-Help Books **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 30, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-self-help-books/562358 "2010-11-30T02:25:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-self-help-books/562358/1 "2010-11-30T02:25:31Z")
Okay, let’s get this out of the way. I’m a raging skeptic and have zero tolerance for BS. I assume you are all the same. And we all know the self-help aisle is the center of woo, bad pop psychology, and just plan wrong-headedness. I always wondered…if self-help books work, then why do some people buy so many of them? But damned if [The How of Happiness](http://www.amazon.com/How-Happiness-Scientific-Approach-Getting/dp/159420148X) and [Feeling Good](http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Therapy-Revised-Updated/dp/0380810336/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1291083481&sr=8-2) didn’t change my life. I hit upon both of them as I was facing a bit of heartbreak in a difficult situation, and I think together they kept that bad period short and sweet. Instead of falling into depression, I mourned a bit and then got over it. **Feeling Good** introduced me to some basic CBT concepts, and made me a lot more aware of my negative thought patterns. Immediately after reading it, I was able to apply its techniques and damned if they didn’t work. I think the chapter on learning to be happy doing things alone was the most useful. I began to really pay attention to how much happier I was doing stuff on my own than I thought I’d be, and it motivated me to get out of the house more. **The How of Happiness** was probably more useful when I first read it than it is now, if that makes sense. It gives some somewhat scientifically-grounded ideas of what makes people happy, and offers up some exercises that are easy to make a part of your life. For a while, at least, I did them and they really did seem to help. I still keep a gratefulness journal, although these days I’m having too much fun to have time to write in it regularly. So, what self-help books have you found useful? Why? ---
**Author:** ![Nightfall1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@Nightfall1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightfall1)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2010, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-self-help-books/562358/2 "2010-11-30T02:29:43Z")
Looking Out For #1 by Robert Ringer really has some good stuff in it. I reread it every couple of years. Gets me out of the doldrums everytime. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2010, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-self-help-books/562358/3 "2010-11-30T02:44:00Z")
Self-help books certainly aren’t the magic cure. But when the time is right sometimes an author will speak in words which suddenly click with a person. If the author is knowledgeable and if the reader is motivated, sometimes the combination can make a change in a person’s life. Three books by Alice Miller, PhD., a Swiss psychologist, which I read in my thirties made a difference in my life and I believe in the lives of my family members as well. They are _The Drama of the Gifted Child,_ _For Your Own Good_ and _Thou Shalt not be Aware._ Her focus is the dynamics of familial and cultural trauma and healing. I’ve returned to these books over the years with increased insight through rereading. To me that’s the mark of a useful book. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-self-help-books/562358/4 "2010-11-30T19:23:57Z")
Any more? I’m in the middle of [The Happiness Hypothesis](http://www.happinesshypothesis.com/chapters.html), which I feared was going to be a bunch of new age mumbo jumbo, but it’s actually pretty good. While it’s still on the pop-science side, it’s pretty well researched and backed up, and actually has given me some good insights. It’s not really a self-help book at all…more of a whirlwind tour of nifty things the brain does that might or might not tie into a greater world view. Anyway, you can read some sample chapters in the link. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2010, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-self-help-books/562358/5 "2010-12-01T00:03:23Z")
_The Beck Diet Solution._ Outcome pending. Judith Beck (the daughter of the co-founder of cognitive psychology, Aaron Beck) wrote a book applying cognitive techniques to weight loss. The skills imparted are backed up by a fair number of research studies indicating that cognitive therapy for weight loss actually works. I’m cautiously optimistic. So far I’m on day 8, not even to the ‘‘begin dieting’’ part yet. Today’s task was to rearrange my schedule and my environment to accomodate the required changes. The idea is you get a new skill every day for 3 months. It’s not about following a diet plan so much as learning how you deceive yourself into behavioral sabotage. Glad to hear you liked _Feeling Good_. I adore Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It seems there are no limits to the different issues it can be applied to. I’ve used it to treat depression, anxiety, IBS, and… now weight loss. There is also a wonderful book on Zen Buddhism called _Radical Acceptance_. That book helped me understand what it means to have self-compassion. I thought it was about accepting things for the way they are, but it’s more accurately about accepting yourself for the way _you_ are. Reading it was a pretty profound experience. We can argue all day about whether that’s evidence-based… I say it is, given that there is evidence meditation lifts baseline mood and even causes neurogenesis - the growth of new brain cells - to restructure the brain. A lot of basic Buddhist concepts are used in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, a well-researched treatment for emotion dysregulation. So while the author is definitely a spiritual teacher and not a scientist, I don’t think it’s woo. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2010, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-self-help-books/562358/6 "2010-12-01T00:09:02Z")
If it counts as a self help book, I have friends who are skeptical and swear by The [Easy Way to Quit Smoking](http://www.amazon.com/Easy-Way-Stop-Smoking-Non-Smokers/dp/1402718616). I haven’t read it- and I still smoke- both of them quit, so perhaps there’s something to it. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2010, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-self-help-books/562358/7 "2010-12-01T00:12:24Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > If it counts as a self help book, I have friends who are skeptical and swear by The [Easy Way to Quit Smoking](http://www.amazon.com/Easy-Way-Stop-Smoking-Non-Smokers/dp/1402718616). I haven’t read it- and I still smoke- both of them quit, so perhaps there’s something to it. 5 stars and 664 customer reviews. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![Truman\_Burbank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@Truman\_Burbank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truman_Burbank)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2010, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-talk-about-self-help-books/562358/8 "2010-12-01T00:30:11Z")
I frequently recommend Your Erroneous Zones by Wayne Dyer, especially to persons who take to CBT. It’s an oldie but a goodie. I haven’t read his subsequent books, which have seemed to me to have an ever-increasing “woo factor”. Alber Ellis’s How To Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything" would also fit into that category (but Ellis is more, shall we say, direct…) For people beginning to address Adult Children of Alcoholics issues, Janet Woititz’book by that title is a good intro.