# Let's Trade Blows!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 4, 2005, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101 "2005-12-04T23:01:51Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/21 "2005-12-05T06:48:27Z")

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Scatters roll of coins on the floor and boots **Regallag** in the arse as he bends down and scrabbles to pick them up. Cop a dose o’ _that_, yer nancy! _Ba-doof!_

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**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/22 "2005-12-05T07:01:23Z")

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She’ll take a [whap!] tumble on ya [whap!]  
Roll you [whap!] like you were dice [whap!]  
Until you [whap!] come up blue [whap!]  
She’s got Bette Davis eyes

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**Author:** ![Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Stark\_Raven\_Mad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stark_Raven_Mad)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/23 "2005-12-05T07:02:16Z")

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:Whips out 1920’s death ray:

YOU WANNA PIECE-AH ME?!?

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**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/24 "2005-12-05T07:07:17Z")

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\<sneaks up on **Stark Raven Mad** and beans him/her with a folding chair\>

Don’t mind if I do!

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**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/25 "2005-12-05T07:12:11Z")

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:: crashes in though window ::

:: stands up, wipes shards of movie glass from shoulders ::

Hey, **Stark Raven**! You got that death ray at Wal-Mart? \<THUD\>

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**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/26 "2005-12-05T07:14:49Z")

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Great simulpost, **KC Suze!** Now that we have Stark Raven down, let’ s you, me and that folding chair do a little…

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**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/27 "2005-12-05T07:18:15Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> **Maastricht** wrote:  
> Great simulpost, KC Suze! Now that we have Stark Raven down, let’ s you, me and that folding chair do a little…

Tag Team? 😉

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**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/28 "2005-12-05T07:25:00Z")

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\*\*I was born for fightin’! I’ll smash up all o’ you lot! Yeah-haha![b/]  
:: throws fist out wildly, connecting with someone’s skull ::  
**Bash 'em up, smash 'em up! RAAAAGH!**  
:: jumps into the air and come crashing down on **Case Sensitive** ::  
**SMASH! STOMP! It’s brawlin’ time!**  
:: takes a swig from bottle of whisky then swings it around like a club ::

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**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/29 "2005-12-05T07:27:08Z")

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Yeah! Let’s go get **Case Sensitive** while he’s still busy booting **Regallag** in the arse.

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**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/30 "2005-12-05T07:30:22Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Yeah! Let’s go get Case Sensitivewhile he’s still busy booting Regallag in the arse.

Looks like **Regallag** got his second wind! I say we can take them both! \<clobbers both **Regallag** and **Case Sensitive** with the Mighty Folding Chair of Swollen Pain\>

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**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/31 "2005-12-05T08:13:37Z")

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Shrugs off chair clobbering with a grunt and a manly grimace. Turns to face **KCSuze** with a thin trickle of blood down his manly jaw, and the light of battle in his eyes. You spilled my pint! Seizes pool cue, spins it in a deadly arc and cracks it across **KCSuze** ’s knees with a splintering _thrack!_

And the man at the back said, “Everyone attack!”  
And it turned into a Barroom Blitz!  
Barroom Blitz!

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**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/32 "2005-12-05T08:20:24Z")

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\<drops to the floor\> You got chocolate in my peanut butter!

\<uses her position on the floor to trip **Case Sensitive** off his manly feet, landing him on his manly arse\>

\<Rises to her feet\> I am woman! Hear me roar!

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**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/33 "2005-12-05T08:36:45Z")

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Frying pan to the head for **Otto** for getting that song in my head.

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**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/34 "2005-12-05T10:24:05Z")

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> [@KCSuze](#):
>
> \<drops to the floor\> You got chocolate in my peanut butter!
> 
> \<uses her position on the floor to trip **Case Sensitive** off his manly feet, landing him on his manly arse\>
> 
> \<Rises to her feet\> I am woman! Hear me roar!

Roar this one off then! 😛

:: picks up **KCSuze** by waistband and collar, dumps her on top of **lightningtool** leaving them both in a tangled heap. ::

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**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/35 "2005-12-05T11:22:43Z")

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Didn’t you kill my brother? Grabs slice of lime from behind bar, squeezes it into **Malacandra** ’s eyes. _Squelch! Eeeghh!_ His girlish screams are soon muffled by the spittoon jammed over his head, and drowned out by the rhythmic clanging of **KCSuze** and **lightingtool** ’s heads being systematically beaten against the tarnished brass. _Bong! Bong! Bong!_

Beat on the brat  
Beat on the brat with a baseball bat  
Oh yeah!  
What can you do  
With a girl like that?

Heh. This is _fun_.

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**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/36 "2005-12-05T12:37:52Z")

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\<drops the gloves and pulls Case Sensitives shirt over his head\>

I’m gonna whomp on you hockey style.

BORT! NEWT! MINT!

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**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/37 "2005-12-05T16:52:29Z")

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**picks up Haberwolf by the scruff of his neck and back of his belt; hurls him down the bar (pint glasses go flying) and through the plate-glass window**

SMASH! CRASH! BANG!

**take THAT!**

**throws bar stool through a different plate glass window**

CRUNCH! POW! SNUH!

**sees approach of angry patrons whose beer was spilled by the Doper body I hurled at them**

… um … oh yah? You want a piece of me too, now?

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**Author:** ![John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_stamos_left_ear/32/3198_2.png) [@John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Stamos_Left_Ear)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/38 "2005-12-05T17:12:27Z")

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I thought this thread was about the current relative value of oral sex.

Since I’m here, what is the going rate for a blow?

_:: smack ::_

Ouch.

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**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/39 "2005-12-05T17:19:40Z")

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\<ahab-mode\>Thar she…\</ahab-mode\>

Nevermind…

(hides behind one of the several overturned tables, grabs popcorn. This’ll be fun to watch)

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**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\
**Post date:** [December 5, 2005, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/40 "2005-12-05T18:48:23Z")

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> [@Nature's Call](#):
>
> (hides behind one of the several overturned tables, grabs popcorn. This’ll be fun to watch)

:: Grabs **Regallag** ’s axe and proceeds to smash the table which **Nature’s Call** is hidden behind into smithereens ::

Come out of there you lily-livered, snivelling coward!

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