# Let's Trade Blows!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 4, 2005, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101 "2005-12-04T23:01:51Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\
**Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/81 "2005-12-06T10:14:12Z")

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> [@Case Sensitive](#):
>
> Damn right yer on break, **KCSuze**. Lemme just _extend_ yer break. We’ll start with the fingers. _Crack!_ And the thumbs. _Crunch!_ Broken enough for ya? Let’s see yer turn the pages of yer girly magazine _now_. Har, har!

:: Fierce, stirring Haka ::  
…pokes **Case Sensitive.**

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**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\
**Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/82 "2005-12-06T10:33:37Z")

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\*is hurled around the room no less than two or three times, and ends up eating \*_Bosda’s \*\* boot. In true kung-fu stylie, is cartwheeled out through the window and lands in the alleyway outside in a shower of glass. Tries to regroup and launch herself through the window, but an unfortunate misunderstanding of the limitations of the human form results in her catching her foot on the windowsill, and ploughing headfirst into a table. Dat’s gotta hoit!_

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**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\
**Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/83 "2005-12-06T10:48:40Z")

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_ducks out of the door_

_reappears riding a bull rhinoceros, by some bizarre streak of narrative improbability_

_drives it merrily around the barroom, trampling and goring indiscriminately_

_also whips up a lasso using his mad ropecraft skillz and pops a loop over **Banquet Bear** and **Case Sensitive**._

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**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\
**Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/84 "2005-12-06T12:04:07Z")

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\<returns to his ship, takes off, and nukes the place from orbit\>

Sorry. It was the only way to be sure. 😃

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**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\
**Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/85 "2005-12-06T17:32:26Z")

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> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#):
>
> \< **Bosda** bows \> You are privaleged to learn so much of the wisdom of Tai Kwan Leep so soon, my children.

_brightly_

Clearly, you have forgotten Rule One!

_goes back to Full Crazed Fighting Mode™_

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/86 "2005-12-06T22:17:46Z")

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> [@Kythereia](#):
>
> _brightly_
> 
> Clearly, you have forgotten Rule One!
> 
> _goes back to Full Crazed Fighting Mode™_

I learned this from Goku…

_ **KA-MAY-AH-MAY-AH WAAAAAVVVE!!!** _

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**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\
**Post date:** [December 6, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/87 "2005-12-06T22:50:15Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> **Case Sensitive** wrote:Damn right yer on break, KCSuze. Lemme just extend yer break. We’ll start with the fingers. Crack! And the thumbs. Crunch! Broken enough for ya? Let’s see yer turn the pages of yer girly magazine now. Har, har!

\<bandages hands\> It was _Time_ magazine, you freak! They had an interesting article on today’s cyberculture! \<proceeds to kick **Case Sensitive** about the head until it resembles a bloody pulp, smirking as he collapses, unconscious, to the floor\>

> [@](#):
>
> **Maastricht** wrote:  
> \<has in the meantime been beaten to a pulp by a Kythera in Full Crazed Fighting ModeTM, and remains a fashionably unconscious heap in KCSuze’s corner\>

\<gets the smelling salts\> We’ve got to pull together! Pool our resources! I’ve got a serious concussion and broken fingers, but I’m not licked yet! We can do it!

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**Author:** ![Rhinocerous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f14d63/32.png) [@Rhinocerous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhinocerous)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/88 "2005-12-07T00:42:45Z")

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_enters, wild eyed . . ._  
WHO YOU CALLING PSYCHO??

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/89 "2005-12-07T01:01:21Z")

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> [@Rhinocerous](#):
>
> _enters, wild eyed . . ._  
> WHO YOU CALLING PSYCHO??

\< **Rhinocerous** walks right into Kamehameha Wave Blast, blown right back _out of_ room.\>

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**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/90 "2005-12-07T01:19:16Z")

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> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#):
>
> \< **Rhinocerous** walks right into Kamehameha Wave Blast, blown right back _out of_ room.\>

Kamehameha Wave Blast unpins Askia from 45 record improvised shruiken which impaled him to the bar. Grabs six-pack of whupass. Chugs one. Gets energized like “Popeye.”

Turns on his liberator, **Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor** and says, “Now I give show you the same gratitute Kuwaiti insurgents have given U.S. soldiers in Iraq!”

Takes out garage door opener. Points. Blows up **Bosda** with roadside bomb hidden under the floor. (That’s why he had **Harborwolf** digging up the floorboards yesterday.)

Points and blows up **KCSuze, Case Sensitive** and **Rhinocerous** who was trying to sneak back inside.

Dumbass Psycho.

Bwah ha ha ha ha!

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/91 "2005-12-07T03:14:58Z")

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You think you can take me? _You think you can take me?__ **Come’n get a bite, you sonsabitches!** _

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**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/92 "2005-12-07T03:22:34Z")

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(Steps out for a moment)

(Returns in a [M4 Sherman](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherman_tank))

Top this, you (rest of words illegible)

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**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/93 "2005-12-07T05:12:52Z")

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\<dusts herself off\>

Anyone feel that?

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**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/94 "2005-12-07T14:02:42Z")

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> [@Governor Quinn](#):
>
> (Steps out for a moment)
> 
> (Returns in a [M4 Sherman](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherman_tank))
> 
> Top this, you (rest of words illegible)

\<pulls self together and climbs into the [A-10 Warthog](http://www.answers.com/topic/a-10-thunderbolt-ii) that I had parked outside, takes off, and blows poor Sherman to bits\>

Consider it topped.

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**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/95 "2005-12-07T16:53:27Z")

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(Emerges from behind seat.)

**Harborwolf** , why aren’t you digging more holes in the barroom floor, you slacker?

Shoves **Harborwolf** from the pilot’s seat. Watches him fall to the ground, reddish splotch on pavement blossoms like unfolding rose petals.

Oh. Wait. I don’t know know how to fly this thing. (Whips out cell phone.) Uh, Dozer, I need a pilot download for an A-10 Warthog immediately. Hello?

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**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/96 "2005-12-07T17:14:52Z")

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Not in the face! Not in the face!

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**Author:** ![moonstarssun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@moonstarssun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moonstarssun)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/97 "2005-12-07T17:15:21Z")

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> [@Miller](#):
>
> You think you can take me? _You think you can take me?__ **Come’n get a bite, you sonsabitches!** _

OK.

:Bites **Miller** :

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/98 "2005-12-07T17:55:12Z")

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Pulls self together…again (Och, I’m gettin’ bad at this) and pulls out magic pencil. Erases Askias body and redraws him as [this](http://img92.exs.cx/img92/4781/standard_cropped.jpg). Good luck flying the plane now. 😃

Ain’t I a stinker.

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**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/99 "2005-12-07T18:00:06Z")

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In retrospect, it may have been more appropriate to erase the plane and replace Askias parachute with the anvil from Duck Amuck. I just liked the freaky duck better.

\<Slaps Ponder Stibbons in the face\>

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**Author:** ![AndyT13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@AndyT13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndyT13)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/100 "2005-12-07T18:26:19Z")

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fucks duck and leaves.

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