# Let's Trade Blows!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 4, 2005, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101 "2005-12-04T23:01:51Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 6

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**Author:** ![Rhinocerous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f14d63/32.png) [@Rhinocerous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhinocerous)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/101 "2005-12-07T18:27:23Z")

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> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#):
>
> \< **Rhinocerous** walks right into Kamehameha Wave Blast, blown right back _out of_ room.\>

_re-enters, hair standing straight up_

“ENOUGH of that sorcery nonsense! Fight like a man!”

_kicks **Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor** in the groin, real hard_

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**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/102 "2005-12-07T18:51:59Z")

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_eventually hauls her way back into consciousness, bleeding from multiple lacerations, kamehamehaaahahahahaha burn and assorted other injuries. Sits on the ground and drinks a minor healing potion, then jumps up grabs a crowbar for luck_

> [@Ponder Stibbons](#):
>
> Not in the face! Not in the face!

Alrighty. No face. Gotcha!

_ **crowbar** shot to **Ponder’s** left knee_

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**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/103 "2005-12-07T19:21:39Z")

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_Zāogāo! Tāmāde hùndàn… Bèndàn!_

_still fighting_  
(_Will_ someone come in and say the words so River- **Kyth** can fall down in a heap already? My feet are killing me!)

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**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/104 "2005-12-07T19:39:53Z")

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> [@Kythereia](#):
>
> (_Will_ someone come in and say the words so River- **Kyth** can fall down in a heap already? My feet are killing me!)

Um…sure.

“Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse”

Hmmm…nope that didn’t work.

“Klaatu Barada Nikto”

Hmmm…not that either.

“Open sesame.”

“I am your father.”

“Et tu, Brute?”

“Rosebud.”

“Shazam!”

_Suddently morphs himself into Captain Marvel._

I guess that works.

_Pummels Kytheria into an unrecognizable heap with his advanced strength._

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**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/105 "2005-12-07T19:49:09Z")

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> [@Hoopy Frood](#):
>
> _Pummels Kytheria into an unrecognizable heap with his advanced strength._

…_Māde_! _falls over, doesn’t move_

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**Author:** ![akira5822](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@akira5822](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akira5822)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/106 "2005-12-07T19:59:18Z")

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Smacks **Kythereia** with a cricket bat while down!!!

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**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/107 "2005-12-07T20:54:11Z")

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> [@Harborwolf](#):
>
> \<pulls self together and climbs into the [A-10 Warthog](http://www.answers.com/topic/a-10-thunderbolt-ii) that I had parked outside, takes off, and blows poor Sherman to bits\>
> 
> Consider it topped.

(Pulls self out of wreckage)

I should…

(collaspes)

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**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/108 "2005-12-07T21:04:30Z")

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I’m just back from a three-day cruise, fully rested and eager to fight like a drunken sailor!\*

_picks up broken timber and starts whirling 'round and around_

WHEEEEE!

_Jams end of stick into **Hoopy Frood** ’s kidney-area_

\*Or a drunken passenger, which, in fact, I was.

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**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/109 "2005-12-07T22:41:29Z")

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[walks in quietly wearing a messenger boy uniform]

Candy gram for **Bosda**! Candy gram for **Bosda**!

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**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/110 "2005-12-07T22:47:23Z")

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[QUOTE=Daithi Lacha]

_Jams end of stick into **Hoopy Frood** ’s kidney-area_

Being infused with the power of Zeus which makes him impervious to attack, Captain Marvel/Hoopy Frood easily shrugs off the blow. Then activating the speed of Mercury which infuses Captain Marvel as well, Hoopy Frood launches himself at **Daithi Lacha** and introduces him to his two fists of seeming iron which are infused with the strength of Hercules due to Captain Marvel’s influence once again.

Hoopy Frood, soon getting bored of being a nigh invincible and overpowered superhero, quickly dashes out of the bar saying “I’ll be back.” When he returns he has apparently reverted back to his normal human form, but has oddly enough picked up a BFG 9000 from Doom 3 somewhere along the line.

“Say hello to my little friend!” he says, as he vaporizing bolts of plasma start streaming through the bar.

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/111 "2005-12-07T23:20:32Z")

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Damn all candygrams! The candy tastes worse than baseball card bubblegum anyway!

I’m tired of being in this fight alone.  
\<Walks into parking lot, addresses cars in lot\>  
AUTOBOTS! TRANSFORM, AND **ROLL OUT!!**

Level that joint, Prime!

😃

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**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\
**Post date:** [December 7, 2005, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/112 "2005-12-07T23:58:04Z")

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> [@Revenant Threshold](#):
>
> Please! Your puny phaser cannot stand up to my mighty, yet practical, bat’leth! Arrghaghahgh! _impales **Spatial Rift** _

\<looks down at the arc of metal intruding into his torso, and removes from it a scroll\>

Message for you, sir.

\<opens the scroll\>  
:eek: Oh my Og. It says … \<dies\>

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**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/113 "2005-12-08T04:23:39Z")

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Unplugs Virtual Reality set. Whoa!

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**Author:** ![TygerDralion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e19adc/32.png) [@TygerDralion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TygerDralion)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/114 "2005-12-08T04:25:04Z")

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'Scuse me, has happy hour started?

…

OK, guess you’re too busy…

\<leave nonchalantly, whistling a jaunty tune\>

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**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/115 "2005-12-08T04:27:44Z")

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> [@TygerDralion](#):
>
> 'Scuse me, has happy hour started?
> 
> …
> 
> OK, guess you’re too busy…
> 
> \<leave nonchalantly, whistling a jaunty tune\>

(Gets off the floor)

You’re not getting out of this that easily!

(Pulls **TygerDralion** back into the bar)

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**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/116 "2005-12-08T04:29:36Z")

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> [@Case Sensitive](#):
>
> Unplugs Virtual Reality set. Whoa!

Unplugs Virtual Reality set. Aaargh! Poses **Bosda** ’s Transformers an insoluble paradox. Hey, Clanky! Listen up! All humans are liars. I am a human. _This…does not…compute. Bzzt! Vzzt! Boom!_ Heh. All too easy.

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**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/117 "2005-12-08T05:48:02Z")

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Since nobody wants to whoop on me no more…  
\<buys **Case Sensitive** a pint\>

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**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/118 "2005-12-08T06:00:04Z")

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One Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, please… _weakly, getting up_

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**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/119 "2005-12-08T06:03:49Z")

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Aw, heck…drinks all around!

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**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\
**Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/120 "2005-12-08T06:06:59Z")

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Next round’s on me then.

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