# Let's Trade Blows!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 4, 2005, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101 "2005-12-04T23:01:51Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 9

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**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/161 "2005-12-10T18:33:19Z")

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> [@Sierra Indigo](#):
>
> _bounds back into the bar and eyeballs what little fighting there still is going on. Ducking a hurled pie, she saunters over to **jrfranchi** and leans over the bar_ Do you serve cowboy cocksuckers?

Is that a drink or a preference? 😉

Either way I’ll serve anyone a drink.

Duck!!!,…as a stray chair comes flying through…

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/162 "2005-12-10T20:17:42Z")

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> [@Sierra Indigo](#):
>
> _bounds back into the bar and eyeballs what little fighting there still is going on. Ducking a hurled pie, she saunters over to **jrfranchi** and leans over the bar_ Do you serve cowboy cocksuckers?

HEY! PORCUPINE! _ **Spread out!** _

\<Gives **Sierra Indigo** a two-fingered eye poke \>

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**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/163 "2005-12-10T21:52:37Z")

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> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#):
>
> HEY! PORCUPINE! _ **Spread out!** _
> 
> \<Gives **Sierra Indigo** a two-fingered eye poke \>

…Moving single index finger left to right in front of \*\*Bosda \*\* nose and then slaps in face…

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**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/164 "2005-12-10T22:55:47Z")

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> [@jrfranchi](#):
>
> …Moving single index finger left to right in front of \*\*Bosda \*\* nose and then slaps in face…

While he is busy, wedgies **jrfranchi**.

Squirts the soda fountain in to **askia’s** face.

Mixes **sierra indigo** a _Cowboy Cocksucker_.

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**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [December 11, 2005, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/165 "2005-12-11T00:43:37Z")

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> [@jrfranchi](#):
>
> …Moving single index finger left to right in front of \*\*Bosda \*\* nose and then slaps in face…

\<Stomps on **jfranchi** ’s toe, then, whilst **jfranchi** is hopping on one foot, claps hands to the rhythm of the hopping/stomps foot likewise, & chants “Hunta-hunta-hunta-HEY!”\>

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**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\
**Post date:** [December 11, 2005, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/166 "2005-12-11T01:02:57Z")

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> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#):
>
> \<Stomps on **jfranchi** ’s toe, then, whilst **jfranchi** is hopping on one foot, claps hands to the rhythm of the hopping/stomps foot likewise, & chants “Hunta-hunta-hunta-HEY!”\>

Proceeds to play patty-cake with **Bosda** , leaving **rayh** & **askia** Confused and then Bosda & I deliver sucker punches {hopefully} knocking out **rayh** & **askia**

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**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\
**Post date:** [December 11, 2005, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/167 "2005-12-11T02:58:21Z")

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> [@jrfranchi](#):
>
> Proceeds to play patty-cake with **Bosda** , leaving **rayh** & **askia** Confused and then Bosda & I deliver sucker punches {hopefully} knocking out **rayh** & **askia**

::picks up amaretto sour, steps over **rayh** and **askia** , sits down at bar and boots **Bosda** in the behind, who stumbles forward into **jrfranchi** and they both add to the pile of bodies on the floor::

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**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\
**Post date:** [December 11, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/168 "2005-12-11T02:59:32Z")

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> [@anyrose](#):
>
> ::picks up amaretto sour, steps over **rayh** and **askia** , sits down at bar and boots **Bosda** in the behind, who stumbles forward into **jrfranchi** and they both add to the pile of bodies on the floor::

damn coding hamsters. that was supposed to be a double colon and the letter ‘p’

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**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\
**Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/169 "2005-12-13T00:49:01Z")

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Puts **Regallag** back on his feet and says "Dude. Axe. Use it. _It’s in your frigging name._

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**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\
**Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/170 "2005-12-13T02:12:24Z")

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> [@Barbarian](#):
>
> Puts **Regallag** back on his feet and says "Dude. Axe. Use it. _It’s in your frigging name._

Waiting for Barbarian’s sucker punch to Regalla as I hide in the pile of bodies.

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**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\
**Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/171 "2005-12-13T02:26:09Z")

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> [@jrfranchi](#):
>
> Waiting for Barbarian’s sucker punch to Regalla as I hide in the pile of bodies.

::hands a bottle of Bass down to **jrfranchi** to apologize::

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**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/172 "2005-12-13T02:39:50Z")

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**Askia** opens up third can of Whupass from six-pack. Growls, “That’s all I kin stands, I can’t stands no more!”

Chugs.

Holds boths arms fully extended from body and bops everybody on the nose while spinning around like a mini-tornado on his big toe. He attacks **anyrose** , beats down **Barbarian** , jostles **jrfranchi** , basically beats **Bosda** black and blue, rassles **rayh** and shakes down **Sierra Indigo**.

Begins singing on heap of moaning pile of bodies: “When I’m passkin’ out punches, you’ll likesk it or lumpsk it! Sez **Askia the Player-Man**!”

Toots corncob pipe.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\
**Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/173 "2005-12-13T02:55:39Z")

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> [@Askia](#):
>
> **Askia** opens up third can of Whupass from six-pack. Growls, “That’s all I kin stands, I can’t stands no more!”
> 
> Chugs.
> 
> Holds boths arms fully extended from body and bops everybody on the nose while spinning around like a mini-tornado on his big toe. He attacks **anyrose** , beats down **Barbarian** , jostles **jrfranchi** , basically beats **Bosda** black and blue, rassles **rayh** and shakes down **Sierra Indigo**.
> 
> Begins singing on heap of moaning pile of bodies: “When I’m passkin’ out punches, you’ll likesk it or lumpsk it! Sez **Askia the Player-Man**!”
> 
> Toots corncob pipe.

::grabs empty can of Whupass (while i’m down on the floor anyway) and reads::

> [@](#):
>
> Ingredients  
> Spinach Juice  
> Caffeine  
> Guarana  
> Caramel Color  
> Artificial Flavors  
> warning: may contain one or more of the following:  
> Nut Case Oil  
> Conceited Seed Oil

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\
**Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/174 "2005-12-13T02:58:42Z")

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While I got off light with only a jostle, you jostled me as I was drinking my Cold Fresh Bass, just handed to me.

_{Gets a stealing Clint Glint in eye}_

_{Uh oh this means trouble}_

I grab \*\*Askia \*\* and despite my being short and pudgy, I heave \*\*Askia \*\* through the sole remaining plate glass window and out into the cold dark night. I then sit back down to drink my Bass and wonder what came over me.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\
**Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/175 "2005-12-13T03:00:04Z")

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Remembers to Thank \*\*anyrose \*\* for the **Bass**.

> [@Jim](#):
>
> Thanks

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**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\
**Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/176 "2005-12-13T05:07:22Z")

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> [@jrfranchi](#):
>
> I heave \*\*Askia \*\* through the sole remaining plate glass window and out into the cold dark night.

(shakes fist angrily) I’ll be back, goddammit! With an even more ludicrous homage to referential pop culture humor!

\>\> promptly gets arrested by two Beverly Hills Police officers. \<\<

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**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\
**Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/177 "2005-12-13T06:01:59Z")

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\<sips her Hawaiian Punch and leans over to **Case Sensitive** \>

My money’s on the barkeep.

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**Author:** ![moonstarssun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@moonstarssun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moonstarssun)\
**Post date:** [December 13, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/178 "2005-12-13T14:22:06Z")

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> [@Askia](#):
>
> **Askia** opens up third can of Whupass from six-pack. Growls, “That’s all I kin stands, I can’t stands no more!”
> 
> Chugs.
> 
> Holds boths arms fully extended from body and bops everybody on the nose while spinning around like a mini-tornado on his big toe. He attacks **anyrose** , beats down **Barbarian** , jostles **jrfranchi** , basically beats **Bosda** black and blue, rassles **rayh** and shakes down **Sierra Indigo**.
> 
> Begins singing on heap of moaning pile of bodies: “When I’m passkin’ out punches, you’ll likesk it or lumpsk it! Sez **Askia the Player-Man**!”
> 
> Toots corncob pipe.

::Rubs nose while eyes water::

Dammit, **Askia** , you spilled my root beer!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/179 "2005-12-14T10:39:43Z")

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> [@KCSuze](#):
>
> \<sips her Hawaiian Punch and leans over to **Case Sensitive** \>
> 
> My money’s on the barkeep.

Sips pint of _creme de menthe_. Just so long as the piano player doesn’t stop, I’m happy.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\
**Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-trade-blows/334101/180 "2005-12-14T16:42:34Z")

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> [@Case Sensitive](#):
>
> Sips pint of _creme de menthe_. Just so long as the piano player doesn’t stop, I’m happy.

**Don’t Shoot Me I’m Only the Piano Player**

Plays some Gangsta Rap, watches **Askia** dance like a _cute lil’ white boy_.

Spikes the drinks with caffeine.

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