# Let's Update Commercials I Hate **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 29, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061 "2009-05-29T18:43:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![shy\_guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@shy\_guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shy_guy)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/21 "2009-05-31T03:29:19Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > Seriously! The blissed out kid just goes “You want whipped cream?” I’d be sayin’ “I am NOT cleanin’ that shit up!” As someone who worked in an ice cream parlor in college, I keep hoping for a version of that commercial where the mother and children look on in helpless horror as the employee beats the husband to death with an ice cream scoop. Another I really, really hate is this [abomination](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IZ9CL4phPk&feature=related) for Multi-Grain Cheerios that they show on TLC all the time. Firstly because it just looks bizarre, like it was all Photoshopped or done in green screen or something. Secondly because it doesn’t end with Steve dousing his heinous bitch of a wife with holy water and watching the harridan dissolve into a puddle of goo. \*Edit: And had I looked at the YouTube info for that commercial, I would have learned that the ad is a dubbed and Photoshopped version of a British commercial. Wtf? ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/22 "2009-05-31T04:25:53Z")
> [@shy\_guy](#): > > Another I really, really hate is this [abomination](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IZ9CL4phPk&feature=related) for Multi-Grain Cheerios that they show on TLC all the time. Firstly because it just looks bizarre, like it was all Photoshopped or done in green screen or something. > > Secondly because it doesn’t end with Steve dousing his heinous bitch of a wife with holy water and watching the harridan dissolve into a puddle of goo. > > \*Edit: And had I looked at the YouTube info for that commercial, I would have learned that the ad is a dubbed and Photoshopped version of a British commercial. Wtf? I swear I remember seeing this with the original British accents about a year ago, then it mercifully disappeared, only to reappear with this weird dubbing. The dubbing and photoshopping seems really inexpertly done too - is General Mills that hard up that they can’t afford decent dubbing? Also, that guy needs a divorce STAT. His wife is the touchiest bitch in the world. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/23 "2009-05-31T05:03:56Z")
I’m continually impressed by how stupid Taco Bell commercials are. Even with their demographics, if you’re stoned enough to find those commercials funny, you’re too stoned to find the front door. Those “Drinkability” ones are up there, too. “It’s drinkability!” “What’s drinkability?” “[something that makes even less sense than the word ‘drinkability’]!” ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/24 "2009-05-31T06:49:00Z")
> [@Shark\_Sandwich](#): > > There’s a commercial for a wireless carrier (Verizon, Sprint, or somebody) where there’s a family in an ice cream shop, and they show a cup of ice cream with a few candy sprinkles on it, which are supposed to represent the number of callers that the “other guys” allow you to call free of charge. Then the dad grabs a big container of the sprinkles, and dumps it on the ice cream, which represents how many callers this carrier allows you to call. > > This commercial makes my skin crawl. And it has nothing to do with the acting, or how the product is presented. It’s only because of that big pile of sprinkles. That’s it. And I’m not a clean freak or anything, but I need to turn the channel when this commercial comes on. Yes, I feel the same way. I want to hand the guy a broom. In a different category I hate the antiperspirant commercials on now. One shows a stuntman on a bike doing the “double pits” maneuver. If that wasn’t retarded enough the lady “interviewing” him rubs the microphone under his armpit and then smells it. It could not get any more phallic the way she cuddles the microphone. The other one is the guy who has water pouring from his armpits like a fire hydrant. That’s just gross. ---
**Author:** ![jasonh300](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/46a35a/32.png) [@jasonh300](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasonh300)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/25 "2009-05-31T14:45:53Z")
> [@Tangent](#): > > Oh, and another one is a deodorant commercial that’s been playing before movies at my nearest theater. It’s about a guy who sweats profusely from his armpits. As in, when he lifts his arm a gushing fountain of sweat spews from his pits and soaks whomever is standing within five feet. > > Yeechhh! This can now be seen on TV, and I mentioned this in a similar Pit thread. This is as bad as a “Depends Adult Diapers” commercial with an incontinent person urinating all over the people around him. ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/26 "2009-05-31T16:10:29Z")
> [@jasonh300](#): > > This can now be seen on TV, and I mentioned this in a similar Pit thread. > > This is as bad as a “Depends Adult Diapers” commercial with an incontinent person urinating all over the people around him. Actually I think that would work as an SNL skit if Will Ferrell was still on the show. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/27 "2009-05-31T16:59:54Z")
> [@](#): > > My first cross-post! > > Have you see that new Prius commercial? The car is driving around a planet which is completely coated with squirming people in different colored costumes, representing grass, flowers, rivers, etc. It’s towing a “sun” which is also wriggling with (yellow) people. > > God, it’s nightmarish! It makes me think of Larry Niven’s short story Bordered In Black, wherein an entire continent is asquirm with wall-to-wall people. Or that episode of Star Trek, when Kirk gets a glimpse of the horrifically crampacked, overpopulated planet through a window. It must touch a phobia somewhere inside me. > > I hate this commercial. And yet when it comes on, I stare with gobsmacked horror and nausea. What’s wrong with me? I agree – I was telling Pepper Mill a couple of days ago that these commercials freak me out. It’s not the _Bordered in Black_ reference – it’s how those people dressed in plant costumes (and bee costumes, and what have you) make everything of the _wrong_ dimensions and aspect ratios. And the way they move and squirm around – it makes me think of some sort of animal mimic, the king you see on National Geographic specials, which ties back into that “wrong dimensions” meme – _THAT’s_ why the dimension are wrong! It’s a Plant-Imitating Spder Catcher or something. As soon as the spider comes into the scene, the innocent-looking plant rapidly turns on it, sticks out its fangs, and snaps it up. Only it’s an entire _planet_ made up of meat-eating plant mimics! The first time those bee-things land, or come within reach of those pseudo=plants, they’re lunch! It gives me the creeps just thinking about it! ---
**Author:** ![C.Montgomery\_Burns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@C.Montgomery\_Burns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C.Montgomery_Burns)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/28 "2009-05-31T19:18:04Z")
There’s a beer commercial that has been running constantly on WGN lately that has two goofy mobsters offering “protection” to some doofus. The doofus doesn’t understand what the mobsters mean. And the mobsters respond to every misunderstood threat with “Ooooooh!”. The fact I can’t even tell you what the product is tells you what a stupid commercial it is. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/29 "2009-05-31T20:14:30Z")
> [@shy\_guy](#): > > Secondly because it doesn’t end with Steve dousing his heinous bitch of a wife with holy water and watching the harridan dissolve into a puddle of goo. I had forgotten that one. Yes, and make it Sam Kinison throwing the holy water on her. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/30 "2009-05-31T20:21:19Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > The one really getting my goat lately is for (I think) the prescription pain reliever Lyrica where a woman describes how much it helps with her fibromyalgia pain and out of nowhere says “And it’s NOT an anti-depressant!” WTF? Why would it be? And god forbid someone should be on an anti-depressant! The way it’s phrased and crammed in there for no reason is really surreal. A certain class of anti-depressants has been widely used for their analgesic properties for ailments including fibromyalgia and chronic migraine. They can work, but there are a number of side effects, mainly the fact that as anti-depressants, they interfere with brain chemistry. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/31 "2009-05-31T20:53:56Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > “You’re not thinking with your dipstick, Jimmy!” > > I’d like to take a baseball bat to his dipstick, jimmy, willie and any other body part I can mash into a bloody smear. That one just came on right now. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!?!? ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/32 "2009-05-31T21:29:14Z")
My brother would like to add the smarmy guy who says, “I love three things: my voice, recordings of my voice, and Optimum Voice”. Talk about self-centered. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/33 "2009-05-31T21:42:06Z")
I suppose I’m the only person in the country who can’t stand Flo. I just want to poke her with something pointy and painful. I also hate Steve’s wife - he deserves better. In fact, I hate all commercials that make men out to be idiot twits and women to be tolerant saints. Like the guy on the ladder whose bitch wife uses the vacuum cleaner to rescue him… And others so horrid I’ve managed to temporarily block them out. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/34 "2009-05-31T21:54:10Z")
There’s a commercial for some auto insurance company with a lady talking about their cool phone apps. “So let’s say you run into a tree. We have an app that lets you [blah de blah de blah], and \*this \*app lets you exchange information with the other driver . . .” The driver of the . . . tree? ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/35 "2009-05-31T21:54:57Z")
> [@](#): > > I just want to poke her… You’ll find that you’re not the only one who wants to poker her with something. 😃 You and us (Flo lovers) have something in common after all. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2009, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/36 "2009-05-31T22:39:24Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I suppose I’m the only person in the country who can’t stand Flo. I just want to poke her with something pointy and painful. > > I also hate Steve’s wife - he deserves better. > > In fact, I hate all commercials that make men out to be idiot twits and women to be tolerant saints. Like the guy on the ladder whose bitch wife uses the vacuum cleaner to rescue him… And others so horrid I’ve managed to temporarily block them out. The problem is, I _want_ to hate Flo. I really do! But somehow, I can’t. She’s just too damned. . .likeable. I dunno. But dittos on the commercials that make all men out to be morons, and the women the “rescuers” of said men. If the roles in these commercials were all reversed, NOW would _totally_ be up in arms! ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2009, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/37 "2009-06-01T00:30:26Z")
“Poke her with the Soft Pillows!” ---
**Author:** ![Spectralist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Spectralist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectralist)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2009, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/38 "2009-06-01T01:34:22Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > I swear I remember seeing this with the original British accents about a year ago, then it mercifully disappeared, only to reappear with this weird dubbing. I thought it was a pretty good commercial with the accents. I don’t generally expect to hear foreign accents on a commercial so when it pops up it makes turn and pay attention, presumably that’s what they want. I would love to know what went on in the meeting where they decided to dub it. ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2009, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/39 "2009-06-01T02:23:00Z")
Fuck Shell gasoline! You cannot turn ::_Giving someone a Peace Sign_:: into shilling for your fucking “V-Power” gas, whatever that is. Next time steal the Catholics ::_Making the Sign of the Cross_:: for your T-Power gas! or Steal the Marine Corps Salute for…forget it; they probably would fucking kill you. (or at least stop letting their guys get killed protecting your sources in the Middle East.) ---
**Author:** ![Khan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3ab097/32.png) [@Khan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khan)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2009, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061/40 "2009-06-01T04:50:23Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > I agree – I was telling Pepper Mill a couple of days ago that these commercials freak me out. It’s not the _Bordered in Black_ reference – it’s how those people dressed in plant costumes (and bee costumes, and what have you) make everything of the _wrong_ dimensions and aspect ratios. And the way they move and squirm around – it makes me think of some sort of animal mimic, the king you see on National Geographic specials, which ties back into that “wrong dimensions” meme – _THAT’s_ why the dimension are wrong! It’s a Plant-Imitating Spder Catcher or something. As soon as the spider comes into the scene, the innocent-looking plant rapidly turns on it, sticks out its fangs, and snaps it up. > > Only it’s an entire _planet_ made up of meat-eating plant mimics! The first time those bee-things land, or come within reach of those pseudo=plants, they’re lunch! > It gives me the creeps just thinking about it! I just figured this one out this weekend. I’d seen it a bunch of times and thought it was CG or something, but then I saw a face. The music sounds unnatural too; kinda reminds me of the music in that scene from _Akira_ when the toys attack him in his hospital room. I’ll add the commercial for “Whale Wars.” I hate the fact that Animal Planet gives legitimacy to that histrionic crank and his crew of incompetent hippies. Greenpeace is hardly a puppet of the fishing industry, so I think the fact that they booted him out of the organization speaks volumes about his credibility. More to the point, the whole “Whaling… ends TODAY!” line in the commercial is made all the more ludicrous by the fact that 1.)they suck and 2.)all they manage to do is harass a handful of Japanese “research” vessels. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lets-update-commercials-i-hate/498061.md?page=3)