# Letterman can't keep his pants zipped. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 2, 2009, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314 "2009-10-02T03:43:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Pashnish\_Ewing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8797f3/32.png) [@Pashnish\_Ewing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pashnish_Ewing)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/61 "2009-10-02T17:39:11Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > Turns out now she was totally justified in her concerns. Wait…what? ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/62 "2009-10-02T17:46:06Z")
> [@Transistor\_Rhythm](#): > > I was pretty blase about the whole thing, until I watched the video. The guy plays the entire things for laughs to a cheering, wolf-whistling audience. What a fucking schmuck. That is not how I saw it at all. Letterman tends to be very dry and deadpan in his comedy delivery, and the audience was reacting based on what appeared to be a set up. The fact that it wasn’t a set up only became clear toward the end of the story, when the audience caught on and became silent. The only actual joke in the entire thing was that it would be embarrassing for the women to admit they’d had sex with him, and even that was a bit of self-effacement. Moreover, imagine how uncomfortable it must have been to talk about this to an audience. He was not comfortable in telling this, obviously. His hand was forced, and he did the best he could in a rotten situation. He had to air his dirty laundry, and not exactly by choice, so he did what he could. I really can’t even come up with a way that he could have gotten the audience clued in sooner, anyway. For decades he’s had that dry delivery, and has introduced COUNTLESS jokes by saying that he’s about to be serious, etc. It played out the way it played out because that’s who he is and how he talks. My reaction to the whole thing is that I’m not really surprised, think it’s none of my business, and that the only person who should really be dragged through the mud is the blackmailer. And I’d say the same thing if it was Leno, who I loathe. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/63 "2009-10-02T17:49:48Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > Palin took heat for issuing a statement saying she’d prefer to keep her daughters away from Letterman. “Oh my God! What is she implying about Dave?!” > > Turns out now she was totally justified in her concerns. Letterman is a horn-dog who can’t keep it in his pants. Turns out you’re pushing some kind of agenda. But you could be right. Let’s see if the list of Letterman’s boffees includes any backwater teenage moms or pre-teens. Man, that would turn this from ‘meh’ to ‘2 million was not enough!’ ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/64 "2009-10-02T17:50:02Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > Turns out now she was totally justified in her concerns. Letterman is a horn-dog who can’t keep it in his pants. So, Palin was justified in keeping her daughters away from Letterman because they might have chosen to screw him? Sounds like you’re calling Bristol, Willow and Piper sluts who would boff David Letterman. Willow is about 14 and Piper is eight. That’s disgusting on your part and it’s worse than Letterman’s joke. You should apologize to them immediately. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/65 "2009-10-02T17:59:11Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > Looks like Sarah Palin was right to keep her kids away from Letterman. Could her week get any better? Interesting that Letterman talked last night about protecting _his_ family; funny how he had no concerns when it came to attacking Palin’s underage daughter. Letterman doesn’t hold himself up as a shining beacon of good Christian morality like that screeching harpy Palin. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/66 "2009-10-02T18:04:21Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > I’m happy all you people think it’s OK because it was only sex. It was just sex, and that’s not the problems. The fact that he’s had sex with subordinates is the problem. A problem for whom? I agree that sex with you boss/ sex with your subordinate is in all cases a Very Bad Idea, but it’s not _per se_ illegal or immoral. There really are people who voluntarily choose consensual sexual relations with people at work who are above them or below them in seniority. If it is truly consensual, it’s not harassment. Does the power disparity make it easier for the less-powerful person to _claim_ it was harassment? Sure. That’s one of the reasons it’s a VBI, as noted above. But in this case none of the women have stepped forward to allege their relations with him were _quid pro quo_ sexual harassment. I agree that he’ll be extremely lucky if none of them _do_ make that claim – but none of them have made it so far. So it seems like you’re assuming a problem that doesn’t exist yet, and may not exist at all. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/67 "2009-10-02T18:16:41Z")
Given the chance, I’d do Stephanie Burkitt too. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/68 "2009-10-02T18:17:51Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > So, Palin was justified in keeping her daughters away from Letterman because they might have chosen to screw him? > > Sounds like you’re calling Bristol, Willow and Piper sluts who would boff David Letterman. Willow is about 14 and Piper is eight. That’s disgusting on your part and it’s worse than Letterman’s joke. You should apologize to them immediately. Obviously, I was talking about the adult daughter. I would never, ever, not in a million years, make a joke about a minor having sex. ---
**Author:** ![Pashnish\_Ewing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8797f3/32.png) [@Pashnish\_Ewing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pashnish_Ewing)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/69 "2009-10-02T18:33:00Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > Obviously, I was talking about the adult daughter. I would never, ever, not in a million years, make a joke about a minor having sex. The only thing that is clear to me now, is that Stephe96 is a horndog who is constantly making jokes about minors having sex. [shoe, other foot, and all that] ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/70 "2009-10-02T18:35:16Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > Obviously, I was talking about the adult daughter. I would never, ever, not in a million years, make a joke about a minor having sex. By your own standards, you’ve done just that. You said: > [@](#): > > Palin took heat for issuing a statement saying she’d prefer to keep her daughters away from Letterman. “Oh my God! What is she implying about Dave?!” > > Turns out now she was totally justified in her concerns. Letterman is a horn-dog who can’t keep it in his pants. Perhaps he can modify his infamous joke: “You know, Sarah Palin took her daughter to a Yankees game this week. There was one awkward moment when, um, I tried to knock up her daughter.” But in the ball game that was referenced in that joke, it was Palin’s younger daughter (the fourteen year old, IIRC) who attended the game. You’ve been persistent in raking Lettermen over the coals for making a joke about sex with a minor, even after it was established that he didn’t realize it was the younger daughter at the ball game. Now you’ve just made a joke, about that same ball game, that involves having sex with the daughter who attended it. By the standards you’ve established in discussing this subject, you are just as bad as David Lettermen. Which, of course, also makes you worse than Hitler. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/71 "2009-10-02T18:39:53Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > By your own standards, you’ve done just that. You said: > . You honestly didn’t recognize these words as Letterman’s own? I thought I was making it obvious that I was simply using Letterman’s excuse! I didn’t know which daughter was at the game! Do I regret telling the joke? Well, yes, I probably do… I might as well admit to having sex with staffers, too… ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/72 "2009-10-02T18:41:40Z")
Settling the sexual harassment suits from not keeping your pants zipped: $123,000,000. Paying the blackmailer who will reveal that you don’t keep your pants zipped: $2,000,000. Sending the blackmailer to jail instead: priceless. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/73 "2009-10-02T18:43:21Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > You honestly didn’t recognize these words as Letterman’s own? I thought I was making it obvious that I was simply using Letterman’s excuse! I didn’t know which daughter was at the game! Do I regret telling the joke? Well, yes, I probably do… > I might as well admit to having sex with staffers, too… No my friend, those were NOT Letterman’s own words. It was a joke YOU made up, playing on Letterman’s joke. YOU made the joke about Letterman fucking a young child-- you MONSTER! And if you don’t give me 2 _million_ dollars, I’m gonna write a movie about you. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/74 "2009-10-02T18:43:53Z")
Why the assumption that there will be sexual harrassment suits NOW, when there haven’t been any following the affairs themselves? Is it just an assumption that the women involved might as well moneygrub now that it’s public? I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/75 "2009-10-02T18:49:39Z")
It assumes the women were previously too scared/intimidated to chime up against a powerful celebrity, but now that the cat’s out of the bag… But to be clear, I assume everyone was a consenting adult. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/76 "2009-10-02T18:49:40Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > No my friend, those were NOT Letterman’s own words. It was a joke YOU made up, playing on Letterman’s joke. YOU made the joke about Letterman fucking a young child-- you MONSTER! > > And if you don’t give me 2 _million_ dollars, I’m gonna write a movie about you. Got any proof against me? Leave it in my car. Actually, that reminds me of one of the spookier aspects of this whole thing: did someone actually gain access to Letterman’s limo? That was the assumption I made based on Letterman’s story last night. I’m wondering if there is more of a conspiracy against Letterman here. More CBS employees in on it, perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/77 "2009-10-02T19:00:51Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > You honestly didn’t recognize these words as Letterman’s own? I thought I was making it obvious that I was simply using Letterman’s excuse! I didn’t know which daughter was at the game! Well, no, those aren’t Letterman’s words, because Letterman never said he had sex with Palin’s daughter. So those are, in fact, your words, making a joke about sex with a minor. Remember, by your own standards in judging Letterman, context does not matter! If you make a joke about sex with a minor, you’re scum. Automatically, no excuse, no forgiveness. Unless, of course, it’s different when you do it. Is that the case? ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/78 "2009-10-02T19:05:30Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Well, no, those aren’t Letterman’s words, because Letterman never said he had sex with Palin’s daughter. So those are, in fact, your words, making a joke about sex with a minor. Remember, by your own standards in judging Letterman, context does not matter! If you make a joke about sex with a minor, you’re scum. Automatically, no excuse, no forgiveness. > > Unless, of course, it’s different when you do it. Is that the case? In that case, I would like to offer my apologies to Letterman and his entire family. I would also like to extend an invitation for him to be on my show at some point in the future. Regina can come, too. Or not. ---
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/79 "2009-10-02T19:12:23Z")
She’s cute. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/80 "2009-10-02T19:30:44Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > If Dave wasn’t married, you can hardly call that scandalous. He’s had a girlfriend for 20 years, but as said, maybe there was an arrangement. Either way, it’s skeevy and a little taboo, but not nearly as much as if he were a married man. Except Letterman is married. On March 19, 2009, he married Regina Lasko, his long-time girlfriend and the mother of his son. Granted, the marriage is very recent, but as you noted, the relationship was long-term before that. Anyway, that should stay a private matter between them. Everyone else involved is a consenting adult, so again, I wouldn’t pay any attention if Letterman hadn’t brought it into the open. He did what he needed to do by going to the police and cooperating in the sting against the blackmailer, who is the real bad guy in the whole situation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314.md?page=5)