# Letterman can't keep his pants zipped. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 2, 2009, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314 "2009-10-02T03:43:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/81 "2009-10-02T19:49:09Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Except Letterman is married. On March 19, 2009, he married Regina Lasko, his long-time girlfriend and the mother of his son. Granted, the marriage is very recent, but as you noted, the relationship was long-term before that. > . It appears his relationship with Burkitt was over long before his marriage to Regina Lasko. But Letterman said he’s had sex with “women on his staff.” So who knows if he was actually cheating while married? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/82 "2009-10-02T19:58:52Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > It appears his relationship with Burkitt was over long before his marriage to Regina Lasko. But Letterman said he’s had sex with “women on his staff.” So who knows if he was actually cheating while married? You know he has had a staff for a very long time. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/83 "2009-10-02T20:00:25Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > I’m happy all you people think it’s OK because it was only sex. It was just sex, and that’s not the problems. The fact that he’s had sex with subordinates is the problem. I agree that whomever Dave had sex with that wasn’t on his staff is be no big deal, and I think no one should really be surprised by that. While I agree that this sort of situation is hardly rare, it would concern me more if one of the women he’d slept with was blackmailing him, rather than one of the women’s current boyfriends. If it turns out he harassed tons of female secretaries, writers and casting directors and paid them all off with a generous severance check, I’ll consider Letterman the bad guy. Until then, the baddie (and idiot) remains Mr. Screenplay (Seriously? I’d love to see the synopsis for that, assuming it wouldn’t just be a porno). Also agree with **Beadalin** ’s interpretation of the ‘confession.’ Letterman looked distressed. He clearly didn’t mind a bit of laughter here and there, but by the end the audience could tell there was no punchline. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/84 "2009-10-02T20:38:11Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > You know he has had a staff for a very long time. _:: Snert ::_ ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/85 "2009-10-02T21:04:15Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Or a male NBC page! That would be killer! He could tap the wrong foot in an airport bathroom with his"wide stance" or hand his dying wife divorce papers in the hospital so he can marry the intern he was banging! ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/86 "2009-10-02T21:23:58Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > Until then, the baddie (and idiot) remains Mr. Screenplay (Seriously? I’d love to see the synopsis for that, assuming it wouldn’t just be a porno). Act 15: Cut to Dave pouring the coal to my girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/87 "2009-10-02T21:27:55Z")
> [@Death\_of\_Rats](#): > > He could tap the wrong foot in an airport bathroom with his"wide stance" or hand his dying wife divorce papers in the hospital so he can marry the intern he was banging! The smart thing would’ve been to drive the bitch off a bridge and let her drown. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/88 "2009-10-02T22:12:12Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > The smart thing would’ve been to drive the bitch off a bridge and let her drown. Enough already. If you don’t like Letterman or don’t like him for politics-related reasons, you are welcome to post your opinion like everyone else. You’ve now been on this political tangent for about 15 posts, which is way too much. This is a forum for arts and entertainment, not politics. This hijack is over. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/89 "2009-10-02T22:28:07Z")
FYI, Letterman publicly dated and lived with one of his head writers, Merrill Markoe, prior to his current wife. It’s not a “clear case” of sexual harrassment to shag a subordinate. In fact, some companies simply require that co-workers involved in relationships notify HR so that they can be made aware of, and avoid, conflicts of interest. Walking into a powerful man’s office, even the President of the United States, and fellating him is NOT criminal behavior. Accepting the blowjob is not harrassment. Going out to dinner with the CEO and ending up in his bed is not harrassment. Demoting the subordinate after she quits doling out blow jobs IS sexual harrassment. Pressuring an intern to sleep with you in order to keep her job IS sexual harrassment. I’m sure you see the difference. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2009, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/90 "2009-10-02T23:28:54Z")
I’m curious to see how long it takes before this shows up as an episode of Law & Order. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/91 "2009-10-03T00:27:09Z")
I remember Stephanie “Monty” Burkitt from years ago when Letterman used to go into the audience (does he even do that anymore?), but when did she stop appearing on the show? A CNN host just said that she’s still his personal assistant. I’m wondering if she was booted off the show when the relationship ended. Also, according to the guide, Letterman is live on Monday (Steve Martin is the guest.) Think there’ll be any mention of The Incident at all? And will he dare do any jokes about cheating husbands in his monologue? ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/92 "2009-10-03T00:36:31Z")
Correction: apparently it’s spelled “Birkitt.” Another question: apparently the blackmail “materials” left in Letterman’s car consisted of a diary belonging to Birkitt, but I’ve yet to see any mention of photos or videotapes. What the hell kind of diary entries would scare someone enough to go to the cops and cry ‘blackmail?’ What exactly was ol’ Monty writing about? And in how much detail? There has to be more to this. Right? ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/93 "2009-10-03T00:44:07Z")
No. There really doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/94 "2009-10-03T01:04:22Z")
> [@niblet\_head](#): > > No. There really doesn’t. Well, Robert Halderman is pleading not guilty to the extortion charge. His lawyer, Gerald Shargel, says, “This story is far more complicated than what you heard this afternoon.” (But of course he’s gonna say that.) From the article: \*The prosecutor said Halderman gave the talk show host a package of materials that “contained clear, explicit and actual threats that indicate this defendant (wanted to) destroy the reputation of Mr. Letterman and to submit him and his family to humiliation and ridicule.” \* > **[Breitbart News Network](https://www.breitbart.com/)** > > Syndicated news and opinion website providing continuously updated headlines to top news and analysis sources. It sounds to me like more than just some diary entries. Is it possible that Letterman won’t want to make public just what’s in that diary and drop the charges? Or is it too late for him to do anything along those lines? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/95 "2009-10-03T01:09:15Z")
So he threw his girlfriend’s diary into David Letterman’s car? What a prick! ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/96 "2009-10-03T01:12:41Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > So he threw his girlfriend’s diary into David Letterman’s car? What a prick! Well, I’m guessing it was just photocopies of select entries. The guy was stupid enough to accept a $2 million check, but he couldn’t possibly be so brain-dead as to hand over the original diary to the guy he was trying to extort?! ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/97 "2009-10-03T01:30:31Z")
I, too, was amazed that someone could have left a package on the back seat of Letterman’s car. Are celebrity cars even remotely accessible to John Q? ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/98 "2009-10-03T01:35:13Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > I, too, was amazed that someone could have left a package on the back seat of Letterman’s car. Are celebrity cars even remotely accessible to John Q? I was a bit more amazed before I found out the accused was a fairly-high-up employee with CBS News. Maybe he knew Letterman’s driver and convinced him it was a gag or something. But still…I wouldn’t be surprised if there are more people involved in this blackmail attempt. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/99 "2009-10-03T02:17:40Z")
Yes, yes, you don’t like the man. We get it. Blah blah blah. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/100 "2009-10-03T02:18:11Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Enough already. If you don’t like Letterman or don’t like him for politics-related reasons, you are welcome to post your opinion like everyone else. You’ve now been on this political tangent for about 15 posts, which is way too much. This is a forum for arts and entertainment, not politics. This hijack is over. Thank you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314.md?page=6)