# Letterman can't keep his pants zipped. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 2, 2009, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314 "2009-10-02T03:43:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/101 "2009-10-03T02:23:28Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > I’m happy all you people think it’s OK because it was only sex. It was just sex, and that’s not the problems. The fact that he’s had sex with subordinates is the problem. I agree that whomever Dave had sex with that wasn’t on his staff is be no big deal, and I think no one should really be surprised by that. I always strongly suspected he had something going on with Teri Garr. The chemistry was just that much more, you know, _uumph._ ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/102 "2009-10-03T02:45:26Z")
There are many accounts of Letterman acting like a grade A asshole to the people who work for him, and he is said to actually have no close friends, a loner who is uncomfortable around others in a private setting. He has certainly been gleeful about pointing out the moral shortcomings of others throughout the years, and I am hoping that the other late night hosts are quick to point out how pathetic it is for him to have to resort to fucking women that work for him. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/103 "2009-10-03T02:50:31Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > I am hoping that the other late night hosts are quick to point out how pathetic it is for him to have to resort to fucking women that work for him. I’m guessing that Letterman is considered an “untouchable” in the industry; I don’t think late-night comics ever really go after each other. Even Letterman’s jabs at Leno are just as often self-deprecating as not. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/104 "2009-10-03T02:52:30Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > Another question: apparently the blackmail “materials” left in Letterman’s car consisted of a diary belonging to Birkitt, but I’ve yet to see any mention of photos or videotapes. What the hell kind of diary entries would scare someone enough to go to the cops and cry ‘blackmail?’ What exactly was ol’ Monty writing about? And in how much detail? Maybe he went to the cops because he was the target of a crime. It is illegal to blackmail people. I’d go to the police even if the blackmail material were completely frivolous, because it would be foolish to trust that the blackmailer wouldn’t try to find some other way to harm me if Plan A failed. Letterman’s own personal experience gives him good reason to be wary: he had problems with a mentally ill stalker for years, and a few years ago his young son was the target of a kidnapping plot. Someone who was terrified about the shocking scandalous details of their private life becoming public probably _wouldn’t_ go to the police about a blackmail attempt. That’s certainly what every blackmailer is counting on. Halderman must have expected that Letterman would be too scared to go to the police, but he was obviously wrong on that count. > [@Stephe96](#): > > From the article: \*The prosecutor said Halderman gave the talk show host a package of materials that “contained clear, explicit and actual threats that indicate this defendant (wanted to) destroy the reputation of Mr. Letterman and to submit him and his family to humiliation and ridicule.” \* > > [Breitbart News Network](http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D9B35RR00&show_article=1) > > It sounds to me like more than just some diary entries. Yeah, it sounds like someone (Halderman) with a vendetta against Letterman. I’d be worried too if someone started threatening me and demanding money. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/105 "2009-10-03T02:58:36Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > There are many accounts of Letterman acting like a grade A asshole to the people who work for him, and he is said to actually have no close friends, a loner who is uncomfortable around others in a private setting. He was fond of Warren Zevon, and Zevon was a total sex addict. I wonder if Warren knew about any of this… ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/106 "2009-10-03T02:58:40Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > I’m guessing that Letterman is considered an “untouchable” in the industry; I don’t think late-night comics ever really go after each other. Even Letterman’s jabs at Leno are just as often self-deprecating as not. Oh, I know your right, the other late night hosts wont dare give Letterman the treatment he deserves, but I would love to see a standup comic (doing a guest spot on Lettermans show) go into a bit about how pathetic it is when a guy who is worth hundreds of millions of dollars cant get laid unless he fucks the hired help!!! ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/107 "2009-10-03T03:01:28Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > Oh, I know your right, the other late night hosts wont dare give Letterman the treatment he deserves, but I would love to see a standup comic (doing a guest spot on Lettermans show) go into a bit about how pathetic it is when a guy who is worth hundreds of millions of dollars cant get laid unless he fucks the hired help!!! Actually, I don’t know what kind of relationship Howard Stern has these days with Letterman, but he has a guy that does a dead-on impersonation of the Late Night host (“Evil Dave”). Stern could have a _lot_ of fun with this (and probably would have in the old days) but he seems to have mellowed out too much. Just search for Evil Dave on YouTube and be amazed. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/108 "2009-10-03T03:12:45Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > And protecting his family from the potential misuse from a blackmailer was the right thing to do, done in an inspired way. An inspired scumbag is still a scumbag. NOW had this to say about Letterman’s earlier “joke”. [http://www.now.org/issues/media/hall-of-shame/index.php?s=letterman&sentence=AND&submit=Search](http://www.now.org/issues/media/hall-of-shame/index.php?s=letterman&sentence=AND&submit=Search) > [@](#): > > Comedians in search of a laugh should really know better than to snicker about men having sex with teenage girls (or young women) less than half their age. > > The sexualization of girls and women in the media is reaching new lows these days – it is exploitative and has a negative effect on how all women and girls are perceived and how they view themselves. Letterman also joked about what he called Palin’s “slutty flight attendant look” – yet another example of how the media love to focus on a woman politician’s appearance, especially as it relates to her sexual appeal to men. Someone of Letterman’s stature, who appears on what used to be known as “the Tiffany Network” (CBS), should be above wallowing in the juvenile, sexist mud that other comedians and broadcasters seem to prefer. > [@GuanoLad](#): > > He didn’t attack anybody’s underage daughter. He made jokes about who he thought was Palin’s older daughter. And then he apologised when he realised the joke was misdirected and misinterpreted. If he hadn’t attacked Palin’s older daughter in the scumbag way he did, there wouldn’t be any apology necessary. It’s still his responsibility for making it. His “It’s just a joke” non-apology isn’t enough. I wonder how many of those affairs took place when his was living with his then wife-to-be. I wonder what she thinks. I’m sure he had a pre-nup, but it’d be fun to see him get divorced. ---
**Author:** ![emcee2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emcee2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emcee2k)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/109 "2009-10-03T03:15:16Z")
Wow, this Halderman guy made a lot of rookie mistakes. They should really teach blackmailing courses in community college. First of all, you don’t start right out at $2 million, that’s just being greedy. Start small, a few 10s of thousands of dollars. And don’t ever meet with the blackmailee of his lawyer in person. Don’t even let on who you are. Get all your pay outs in cash in paper bags left in public trash cans. But most importantly, you need to consider when blackmail is really appropriate. In a case like this, consensual heterosexual affairs involving adults, you’re better off just taking whatever proof you have and selling it to a tabloid. ---
**Author:** ![Cyberhwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cyberhwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyberhwk)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/110 "2009-10-03T06:17:51Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > I, too, was amazed that someone could have left a package on the back seat of Letterman’s car. Are celebrity cars even remotely accessible to John Q? What the hell was he doing even OPENING IT?!?!?! He’s had a history of stalkers. I find a package in the back seat of my car that I know I didn’t put there I’m running like a MOFO and calling the bomb squad. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/111 "2009-10-03T06:48:47Z")
[Gawker.com](http://gawker.com/5373277/purported-letterman-blackmailer-slept-with-colleagues-himself-colleagues-say) pastes this Halderman guy as a bit of an all round dick. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/112 "2009-10-03T07:03:46Z")
This is about the weakest scandal I’ve ever heard of. He wasn’t even married, so who gives a shit? How is it a scandal for a single guy to get laid. Good for him. What’s the point of being rich and famous if you can’t get hip deep in it? ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/113 "2009-10-03T07:09:38Z")
Wait, this just gets better and better. So the guy trying to blackmail Letterman for having consensual sex with his subordinates has a reputation for sleeping with colleagues and subordinates, and even has been divorced over it. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/114 "2009-10-03T08:01:03Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > I always strongly suspected he had something going on with Teri Garr. The chemistry was just that much more, you know, _uumph._ You Misspelled Sandra Bernhard. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/115 "2009-10-03T09:56:30Z")
> [@42fish](#): > > Well, if Carson made that sort of an announcement next week, it would be pretty shocking. Or any other announcement, for that matter. Carson Daly. His show on NBC, _Last Call with Carson Daly_, follows _Late Night with Jimmy Fallon_. It’s been on since 2002. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/116 "2009-10-03T10:10:45Z")
> [@Walloon](#): > > Carson Daly. His show on NBC, _Last Call with Carson Daly_, follows _Late Night with Jimmy Fallon_. It’s been on since 2002. That shows how old some of us are. I, too, thought that was Johnny Carson and have never heard of Carson Daly. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/117 "2009-10-03T11:23:27Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > This is about the weakest scandal I’ve ever heard of. He wasn’t even married, so who gives a shit? How is it a scandal for a single guy to get laid. Good for him. What’s the point of being rich and famous if you can’t get hip deep in it? As a sex scandal this rates about a 2; as a media story (celebrity, blackmail, confessions, mystery) however, it’s right up there. At least an 8. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/118 "2009-10-03T12:43:10Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > Oh, I know your right, the other late night hosts wont dare give Letterman the treatment he deserves, but I would love to see a standup comic (doing a guest spot on Lettermans show) go into a bit about how pathetic it is when a guy who is worth hundreds of millions of dollars cant get laid unless he fucks the hired help!!! Well, that’s one way of spinning it. Or, you could just figure that he spends a lot of time at work, so most of the people he knows are at work. Finally saw some footage last night – my question is, how old is Robert Morgenthau? It looks like they dragged him out of the stroke clinic for that press conference. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/119 "2009-10-03T13:43:15Z")
This story just may become more interesting. A story in the NY Post detailing the Letterman/Birkitt romance says \*[t]he affair ended **after Lasko gave birth** to Letterman’s son, Harry, in 2003, sources said. \* Uh oh. Also: _Birkitt apparently left behind evidence, including photos, of her steamy affair with Letterman._ Double uh oh! I guess we’ll find out whether or not Regina Lasko knew about what was going on. > **[Laid nights with David Letterman](https://nypost.com/2009/10/03/laid-nights-with-david-letterman/)** > > He brought her up from coffee-fetcher to personal assistant to on-air personality — and then she inadvertently brought him down. The woman at the center of David Letterman’s stunning la… ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/120 "2009-10-03T13:53:51Z")
> [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](#): > > Oh, I know your right, the other late night hosts wont dare give Letterman the treatment he deserves, ! I stand corrected. The late-night hosts _did_ go after Letterman last night. From the NY Post: “If you came here for sex with a talk show host, you came to the wrong place,” \*\*Leno \*\*said to start his monologue at 10 p.m. \*\* Jimmy Fallon\*\*: “There’s a new book out called ‘Why Women Have Sex’ that says there are 237 reasons why women have sex,” he said. “And folks, Letterman knows the top 10.” > **[Getting digs in at Dave](https://nypost.com/2009/10/03/getting-digs-in-at-dave/)** > > Fellow talk-show funnyman Jay Leno skewered former late night rival David Letterman on his NBC show last night. Leno treated Letterman like any other scandal-ridden celebrity as he cracked wise abo… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314.md?page=7)