# Letterman can't keep his pants zipped. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 2, 2009, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314 "2009-10-02T03:43:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Bijou\_Drains](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bijou_drains/32/2814_2.png) [@Bijou\_Drains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bijou_Drains)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/121 "2009-10-03T13:56:54Z")
Bill Maher joked about Letterman too. I am surprised that anyone thought they would not make jokes about this. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/122 "2009-10-03T13:58:55Z")
> [@Bijou\_Drains](#): > > Bill Maher joked about Letterman too. I am surprised that anyone thought they would not make jokes about this. I was thinking maybe ‘professional courtesy’ or something. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/123 "2009-10-03T14:53:52Z")
You know, sharks really will eat lawyers. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/124 "2009-10-03T15:16:41Z")
I still don’t get why this is supposed to be a story. David Letterman had sex before he was married? That’s a scandal why? Are we living in Biblical times or something? Have we been transported to Puritan New England? I had sex before I was married too. Go ahead and blackmail me. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/125 "2009-10-03T15:27:39Z")
It’s a story because someone tried to blackmail him about it and Letterman got involved in a sting of the blackmailer. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/126 "2009-10-03T15:41:10Z")
While it’s to be expected that people posting on the Internet might repeat the lie that Letterman made a crude joke about Palin’s underage daughter, it’s really disgusting that some “news” outlets repeat this lie as a fact. Oh well. At the time Teri Garr was making all those appearances on the show, she was dating Letterman’s producer Robert “Morty” Morton, so it was a way for her to get an all expenses paid trip to see her boyfriend. Dave and Markoe were pals even before the morning show. If Dave was harassing female employees, then he should be sued. Otherwise, not a big deal. It’s not like he’s a nationally known politician who says one thing and does another. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/127 "2009-10-03T16:21:28Z")
Not all sexual relationships between the boss and an employee constitute “sexual harassment”. Didn’t Bill Gates marry a Microsoft employee? Obviously, there is the question of conflict of interest or favoritism, but let CBS (or whoever) look into that, or if someone who is part of the show thinks there was a problem let them bring it up. It sounds to me like Letterman’s affairs were no real secret. Seems to me if there had been a pattern of problems someone would have spoken up before now. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/128 "2009-10-03T16:31:19Z")
Why do people keep calling them “affairs?” He wasn’t married. They were just relationships. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/129 "2009-10-03T16:56:50Z")
> [@42fish](#): > > Well, if Carson made that sort of an announcement next week, it would be pretty shocking. Or any other announcement, for that matter. > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I still don’t get why this is supposed to be a story. David Letterman had sex before he was married? That’s a scandal why? Are we living in Biblical times or something? Have we been transported to Puritan New England? I had sex before I was married too. Go ahead and blackmail me. (1) According to the NY Post, Letterman was living with Regina Lasko at the time, who was pregnant with his child, (2) The women he was involved with were his employees, which in most workplaces (not Worldwide Pants, reportedly) is a serious ethical breach. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/130 "2009-10-03T16:58:45Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Why do people keep calling them “affairs?” He wasn’t married. They were just relationships. He’s been in a serious relationship for 25 years with the woman he married. “Affair” is not an unreasonable term. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/131 "2009-10-03T17:02:07Z")
> [@Walloon](#): > > (1) According to the NY Post, Letterman was living with Regina Lasko at the time, who was pregnant with his child, (2) The women he was involved with were his employees, which in most workplaces (not Worldwide Pants, reportedly) is a serious ethical breach. 1. who cares? Living with ain’t married. 2. It’s not true that this is “a serious ethical breech” in most workplaces. It can be, but nobody is alleging any harrassment or coersion here. CBS obviously doesn’t care, and none of the women are complaining, so I don’t see any genuine ethical problem here. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/132 "2009-10-03T17:04:00Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > He’s been in a serious relationship for 25 years with the woman he married. “Affair” is not an unreasonable term. I disagree. “Affair” implies adultery. There was no adultery here. Are we really going to start policing monogamy among unmarried people now? And people call _me_ judgemental around here. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/133 "2009-10-03T17:34:16Z")
“It’s not cheating unless you’re married” sounds like a surprisingly conservative viewpoint considering the makeup of this board. Not that any of us has any insight into their relationship. Anyway this isn’t news because people thought David Letterman was a beacon of morality - it’s news because someone was trying to extort $2 million out of him. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/134 "2009-10-03T17:37:59Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > “It’s not cheating unless you’re married” sounds like a surprisingly conservative viewpoint considering the makeup of this board. Not that any of us has any insight into their relationship. I’m only saying it’s not an “affair” unless you’re married. Even if he _had_ been married it still would have barely been a scandal. Either way, it boils down to “celebrity cheats on his SO.” What else is new? I guess I don’t see why the blackmailer ever even thought this was blackmail-able. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/135 "2009-10-03T17:47:31Z")
I’m thinking there’s more to this what’s going on here than mere romances with co-workers. Given that Halderman’s apparently been living with one of Letterman’s exes, I’m thinking kinky behavior complete with photos. Maybe not, but I have a hard time thinking that an experienced news producer like Halderman would think that mere exposure of affairs on the part of an unmarried celebrity with his co-workers would be worth two million dollars. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/136 "2009-10-03T17:48:54Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I still don’t get why this is supposed to be a story. Let’s see: a beloved late-night talk-show host finds himself the victim of an extortion plot after an incriminating package is left in his limo. The beloved host immediately goes to the cops, who in turn send the host’s lawyer to a series of meetings with the blackmailer while wearing a wire. The blackmailer accepts a phony $2 million check and his arrested when he attempts to cash it. The venerable host is then put in the awkward position of having to confess, on air, to a series of sexual relationships with his employees over the years. One sexual conquest, it turns out, became a semi-regular on the show while sleeping with her boss, while her boss’s long-time girlfriend and soon-to-be-wife was pregnant with their first child. It also turns out that the host’s ‘work girlfriend’ had, until recently, been living with the accused blackmailer! The suspect pleads not guilty to grand larceny and his lawyer assures reporters that there is much more to the story than is being told so far. Yeah, I can’t imagine why anyone might be interested in this. Seriously, **Diogenes** and with all due respect: why are you bothering to post in a threat you admittedly have little interest in? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/137 "2009-10-03T17:59:24Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I’m only saying it’s not an “affair” unless you’re married. We’ll have to agree to disagree. It’s not much of a scandal on its own. The blackmail is what made it front page news. The relationships themselves wouldn’t have been a big deal unless someone claimed they were harassment. While embarrassing for Letterman, somewhat ironically, this is probably ratings gold. > [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > I’m thinking there’s more to this what’s going on here than mere romances with co-workers. Given that Halderman’s apparently been living with one of Letterman’s exes, I’m thinking kinky behavior complete with photos. All I know is, if there are photos, I don’t want to see them. 😛 I was going to say he doesn’t seem the type, but I’d rather not find out. The Times has a more in-depth story on this today that cites money trouble for Halderman as a possible motivation. It also describes more closely what Letterman received at the start of the extortion attempt: > [@](#): > > According to the indictment, Mr. Halderman waited outside Mr. Letterman’s Manhattan home before sunrise on Sept. 9, then gave Mr. Letterman’s limousine driver a one-page draft of a proposed screenplay about the talk show host’s love life. > > […] > Mr. Halderman also handed over photographs, correspondence and a page of the personal diary of Ms. Birkitt. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/138 "2009-10-03T18:07:24Z")
BTW, sexual harassment is not the only reason why relationships between employers and employees can be unethical. Sleeping with the boss can also lead to favoritism, to the disadvantage of those not sleeping with the boss. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/139 "2009-10-03T19:28:06Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > Let’s see: a beloved late-night talk-show host finds himself the victim of an extortion plot after an incriminating package is left in his limo. The beloved host immediately goes to the cops, who in turn send the host’s lawyer to a series of meetings with the blackmailer while wearing a wire. The blackmailer accepts a phony $2 million check and his arrested when he attempts to cash it. The venerable host is then put in the awkward position of having to confess, on air, to a series of sexual relationships with his employees over the years. One sexual conquest, it turns out, became a semi-regular on the show while sleeping with her boss, while her boss’s long-time girlfriend and soon-to-be-wife was pregnant with their first child. It also turns out that the host’s ‘work girlfriend’ had, until recently, been living with the accused blackmailer! The suspect pleads not guilty to grand larceny and his lawyer assures reporters that there is much more to the story than is being told so far. > > Yeah, I can’t imagine why anyone might be interested in this. Seriously, **Diogenes** and with all due respect: why are you bothering to post in a threat you admittedly have little interest in? Still don’t see a story here. Single man likes pussy. So fucking what? ETA I don’t see a scandal here for Letterman. I guess it’s a minor story that he was the victim of a crime attempt. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/140 "2009-10-03T19:39:57Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > One sexual conquest, it turns out, became a semi-regular on the show while sleeping with her boss, while her boss’s long-time girlfriend and soon-to-be-wife was pregnant with their first child. I think you screwed up your timeline here. In the story I mentioned, [WWP specifically said Birkitt and Letterman were over before Lasko got pregnant.](http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/03/business/media/03extort.html?ref=television) She was on the show for a long time but I don’t see any specifics about when their relationship happened. The suspect “denying everything” isn’t a surprise, and the bit about Birkitt being an ex of the blackmailer is also not surprising - he had to find out about it somehow and “scorned ex-lover” is the simplest possible reason. Your theory about other people being involved in getting the “package” into Letterman’s car - since it was actually just a few sheets of paper that were given to his limo driver, not left in his car - also does not work. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314.md?page=8)