# Letterman can't keep his pants zipped. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 2, 2009, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314 "2009-10-02T03:43:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/161 "2009-10-04T00:33:24Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > I’m still not seeing it. That’s fine. I’m just trying to explain why those of us who don’t like him are happy to see him twisting in the wind like he’s done to so many people – celebrities, polititicans and people on the street – for so many years. I’m looking forward to the day when Nancy Grace gets hers as well. (Though there’s really no comparison between her and Letterman. Compared to her, David Letterman is Santa Claus). I will probably explode with schadenfreud when that day comes. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/162 "2009-10-04T00:51:05Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > And if something happens to a mean-spirited person (and Letteman has been a mean-spirited jerk for decades before anyone ever heard of Sarah Palin, **niblet-head** )… No shit! I’ve been watching him since 1982, when his show was on in the morning, but thanks Captain Obvious. It’s his schtick, but I don’t recall protestors outside the studio when he was a dick to anybody else. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/163 "2009-10-04T01:04:00Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Being in a decades-long serious relationship with somebody does not equal “single”. I don’t really give a shit about Dave’s love life, but you seem to be going out of your way to misrepresent the situation. I’ve been in a committed relationship with my girlfriend for over 10 years, and we’re not getting married because we don’t really see the point (we’re not religious), but if either of us cheated it would be a major issue, as it would in most relationships. Maybe to them (and maybe not), but it’s definitely none of _our_ fucking business. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/164 "2009-10-04T01:05:44Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > By comeuppance, I’m not talking about career consequences; I’m talking about his being hoist on his own petard and finding himself the subject of embarrassment and the revelation of private details that reveal him as a hypocrite in making fun of the moral and sexual aspects of other peoples’ lives. > > And if something happens to a mean-spirited person (and Letteman has been a mean-spirited jerk for decades before anyone ever heard of Sarah Palin, **niblet-head** ) that causes him embarrassment and concern over the loss of job and perhaps even his marriage, it creates the sort of schadenfreude that **Götterfunken** was wondering about. In what way has he been hypocritical? What has he done that’s immoral? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/165 "2009-10-04T01:07:06Z")
> [@Lakai](#): > > You’ve repeated this like five times already and each time you’ve been told that the scandal is in the extortion plot and the sex with subordinate co-workers. > > Some people care that Letterman cheated on his SO, but that is really only a minor part of the story. If that was all that happened then this would only make news in People magazine and a bunch of other tabloids. I understand that the extortion is a minor entertainment page story, but the righties are revelling as if Letterman has actually been caught doing something wrong. He has not. I know they’re upset because he made fun of their pet imbecile, Palin, but exposing that he’s a practicing heterosexual is not exactly devastating. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/166 "2009-10-04T01:12:00Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > That’s fine. I’m just trying to explain why those of us who don’t like him are happy to see him twisting in the wind like he’s done to so many people – celebrities, polititicans and people on the street – for so many years. I don’t see him “twisting in the wind.” He had premartal sex. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. I also don’t recall him being moralistic and preachy about other celebrities. maybe you’re confusing him with Bill O’Reilly. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/167 "2009-10-04T01:12:49Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > In what way has he been hypocritical? What has he done that’s immoral? Letterman was making Bill-Clinton-can’t-keep-it-in-his-pants jokes for years while at the same time he was cheating on his live-in girlfriend of 28 years or so…you don’t see that as just a _wee_ bit hypocritical? I don’t know of anyone who’s accusing Letterman of being immoral; his cheating is between him and Regina. But the guy has delighted in making jokes about the personal shortcomings of others, now it’s his time to face a little music. I really can’t believe I have to spell this out for you. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/168 "2009-10-04T01:14:12Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > What has he done that’s immoral? Lying and cheating? ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/169 "2009-10-04T01:15:47Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Exactly. It’s an affair if Regina Lasko thinks it is. Or if he does, for that matter. I was with you right up until: > [@](#): > > Unless they had an arrangement where sneaky sex was OK, he was cheating. We have no way of knowing that, of course, but it stands to reason that monogamy was part of the deal. Lasko has known Letterman for more than 20 years, and has stayed with him all that time. She obviously knows more about him than any of us, including his sexual peccadilloes. We have no reason to think she’s just learning about any of this right now, and for all we know, they had a completely open relationship. In any case, if she was willing to marry him last spring, the most obvious explanation is that either she didn’t care about his relations with others, or has forgiven him. [Quote=Starving Artist] I’m just trying to explain why those of us who don’t like him are happy to see him twisting in the wind like he’s done to so many people – celebrities, polititicans and people on the street – for so many years. [/quote] WTF? How is he twisting in the wind? He’s had to admit to some private behavior that was not illegal, and not even wrong to any but the most narrow-minded moralists. Mildly embarrassing perhaps, but to most people who are not blindly prejudiced against him, I think he comes across as a victim who managed to get the best of a would-be blackmailer. This will continue to be a story only because it is a blackmail case involving a celebrity, not because of anything he did. And how exactly has he left other people “twisting in the wind” differently than Jay, Conan, Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, or any of dozens of other comedians who make jokes about public figures? As **Lamia** pointed out, he didn’t expose any scandals, just commented on them. I’ve occasionally seen him be “mean” to people on-air, but only people like Madonna and Joaquin Phoenix, who were being jerks to him. In the former case, they’ve made up, and she’s come back to the show since (including just this week), and in the latter, the consensus is that Phoenix was pulling a stunt and deserved what he got. We all get you don’t like Dave, but he’s not the monster you’re painting him to be, and this incident will not be much more than a blip as far as his career or popularity are concerned. As for your ludicrous charge of hypocrisy, the only case I see for that is Dave’s constant joking about how he never gets any sex. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/170 "2009-10-04T01:18:24Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > Letterman was making Bill-Clinton-can’t-keep-it-in-his-pants jokes for years while at the same time he was cheating on his live-in girlfriend of 28 years or so…you don’t see that as just a _wee_ bit hypocritical? I don’t know of anyone who’s accusing Letterman of being immoral; his cheating is between him and Regina. But the guy has delighted in making jokes about the personal shortcomings of others, now it’s his time to face a little music. I really can’t believe I have to spell this out for you. Letterman wasn’t married. He also wasn’t impeached, didn’t get convicted of trolling for cock in an airport bathroon and hasn’t been a moral hypocrite. I’m sorry, but I’m afraid this just isn’t going to shake down into some big downfall for David Letterman. The kind of people who watch Letterman do not tend to be sex-obsessed moral police, and those who are sex-obsessed moral police do not watch David Letterman. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/171 "2009-10-04T01:19:24Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Lying and cheating? Cite that he was lying? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/172 "2009-10-04T01:20:45Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > I was with you right up until:Lasko has known Letterman for more than 20 years, and has stayed with him all that time. She obviously knows more about him than any of us, including his sexual peccadilloes. We have no reason to think she’s just learning about any of this right now, and for all we know, they had a completely open relationship. In any case, if she was willing to marry him last spring, the most obvious explanation is that either she didn’t care about his relations with others, or has forgiven him. Why isn’t it just as obvious that she didn’t know? Has no one in a 20 year relationship ever been fooled before? I agree that if she knew about it and didn’t mind, of course it wasn’t cheating. But that kind of goes without saying. Alternately, if she forgave him, there must have been something to forgive, right? Which means that it must not have been OK. Which makes it an affair. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/173 "2009-10-04T01:22:21Z")
It wasn’t an affair regardless, because they weren’t married. It’s also none of our business. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/174 "2009-10-04T01:26:28Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Letterman wasn’t married. He also wasn’t impeached, didn’t get convicted of trolling for cock in an airport bathroon and hasn’t been a moral hypocrite. > > I’m sorry, but I’m afraid this just isn’t going to shake down into some big downfall for David Letterman. The kind of people who watch Letterman do not tend to be sex-obsessed moral police, and those who are sex-obsessed moral police do not watch David Letterman. Who is talking about a “big moral downfall?” I agree it’s likely just a blip in his career but I also wouldn’t be surprised if he tones down his humor a bit. I should also point out: we don’t really know any of the details yet. If what we’ve heard so far is it, then it’s a minor scandal. But Letterman admitted to “creepy” behavior. The blackmailer outlined a movie treatment based on his ex-girlfriend’s diary entries, something that he thought would scare Letterman into forking over big bucks. Something doesn’t quite add up. Why on earth would anyone try to blackmail a ‘single’ guy who was having sex with other adult single women? What is the big deal there, as you have so often pointed out? I’m wondering if there is something more to this, that’s all. Can’t you agree that it’s at least a possibility that Letterman’s behavior might have been a bit worse than what we’ve heard so far? ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/175 "2009-10-04T01:30:38Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > It wasn’t an affair regardless, because they weren’t married. > > It’s also none of our business. He went on the air and told his audience he was having sex with his employees. It’s now our business. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/176 "2009-10-04T01:31:02Z")
I can only conclude that **Starving Artist** is still upset about the Richard Simmons fire extinguisher incident. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/177 "2009-10-04T01:32:21Z")
Unless he did something illegal, then it’s none of our business. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/178 "2009-10-04T01:32:48Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Cite that he was lying? I don’t have one. My posts are predicated on the assumption that he was. If he was up front with Lasko about it, and she didn’t have a problem, then of course there was no affair. If he promised monogamy, and didn’t tell her about the sex with his co-workers, then he was lying by omission. > [@](#): > > It wasn’t an affair regardless, because they weren’t married. Your turn. Cite? [I’ll start.](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/affair) ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/179 "2009-10-04T01:34:22Z")
I don’t care about your cite, and it’s not worth arguing about. If it makes you feel better to call it an “affair,” knock yourself out. I’ll just say it wasn’t adultery. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314/180 "2009-10-04T01:34:45Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Unless he did something illegal, then it’s none of our business. So why did he tell us if it’s none of our business? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/letterman-cant-keep-his-pants-zipped/512314.md?page=10)