# Lexinauts (Go where no man has gone before!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 30, 2004, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830 "2004-01-30T20:55:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/1 "2004-01-30T20:55:40Z")
In the interest of propogating and pioneering entirely “new things under the sun”, compose a sentence that has never been uttered, let alone thought of before. The inspiration is from George Carlin’s comedy bit “Things no one has ever said before”. These are examples from the master himself: “Please help me saw my legs off.” “Hand me that piano.” “Gee dad, you really should drink more.” “As soon as I finish jamming this red hot poker up my ass, I’m going to chop my dick off!” I’ll start it off. That soup is pretty good, but it needs more gasoline. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/2 "2004-01-30T21:05:31Z")
“I know it’s none of my business, but… aww, heck, it really is none of my business” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/3 "2004-01-30T21:07:31Z")
Watch how far I can throw my testicle. Seriously Mom, you really should try it up the butt. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/4 "2004-01-30T21:33:50Z")
Look how far I can stick this railroad tie up my nose! ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2004, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/5 "2004-01-30T21:53:17Z")
I’ve heard that beyond all but the most trivial of constructions, most sentences are unique utterances. ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/6 "2004-01-31T02:21:02Z")
Hey, I think it’s important that I get the approval of the Roman Catholic Church before I start my own religion that involves people worshiping me by doing my job as former deputy U.S. Secretary of Agriculture while I stay at home all day and play Final Fantasy 1 on an emulator with PAL emulation turned on. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/7 "2004-01-31T03:12:47Z")
“Quiet down out there, I’m conducting the Philadelphia Symphony Orchestra in the Men’s Room!” ---
**Author:** ![Art\_Barber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@Art\_Barber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Art_Barber)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/8 "2004-01-31T11:46:37Z")
For Chrissakes, stop sucking my cock! ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/9 "2004-01-31T20:28:00Z")
Is this why George Carlin is quoted as saying, “Why can’t there be more suffering?”? It all makes sense now… ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/10 "2004-01-31T23:39:57Z")
devilsknew: cool thread. No, no, no, vorlate the preturbulatories! Hold me under, I almost got my head above water there! ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/11 "2004-02-01T00:11:54Z")
“Lord Lucan just stole my tricycle” ---
**Author:** ![Ex\_Machina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Ex\_Machina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ex_Machina)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/12 "2004-02-01T00:19:40Z")
“Your sister sure knows how to spank a walrus.” ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/13 "2004-02-01T00:30:30Z")
“You’re right… It is fun to put out our cigars on these old reels of film.” ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/14 "2004-02-01T00:44:01Z")
There’s only one thing that will put out an oil fire … melted cheese and plenty of it! ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/15 "2004-02-01T01:10:50Z")
“Quick, Watson, find Harlean Carpentier! Only she can save use from Professor Danielovitch’s Infernal Machine!” ---
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/16 "2004-02-01T01:19:18Z")
“This dishwasher smells like the west side of a mules rectum.” ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/17 "2004-02-01T02:03:34Z")
“RoboButler 7800! Guaranteed to never eat the SDMB hamsters!” ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/18 "2004-02-01T03:08:28Z")
“Mommy, how old were you when you gave birth to Daddy?” “Kopi luwak, anyone? I crapped it myself this morning!” ---
**Author:** ![CADOp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@CADOp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CADOp)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/19 "2004-02-01T04:09:10Z")
“It’s more fun than a barrel of CSPAN!” “Women make perfect sense” For a related activity, try [Googlewhacking](http://www.googlewhack.com) ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830/20 "2004-02-01T15:30:27Z")
“Horatius, get the piano stool. We’re having s’mores!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lexinauts-go-where-no-man-has-gone-before/226830.md?page=2)