# LGBT Dopers: When did you discover your sexuality/come out? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 19, 2004, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lgbt-dopers-when-did-you-discover-your-sexuality-come-out/269999 "2004-10-19T09:39:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lgbt-dopers-when-did-you-discover-your-sexuality-come-out/269999/121 "2004-12-31T13:41:46Z")
> [@Number Six](#): > > Sorry, I can see how that could be misleading. My legal name change went into effect today. I officially, legally have a girl’s name for the first time in my life today. > > I’m still preop, in that I have my penis, but my testicles have been removed. Taking that final step might or might not cause problems with the legality of my marriage. My lawyer’s looking into it, but both the legislative law and case law in my jurisdiction are, according to him, a bit “fuzzy” on the subject. What kind of first name did you choose? ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lgbt-dopers-when-did-you-discover-your-sexuality-come-out/269999/122 "2004-12-31T14:55:04Z")
**{{{{{{Number Six}}}}}** Welcome to the club, sister! 🙂 I’d love to hear your story. Also any makeup tips you might have are always helpful. I came out to my family yesterday. Their reaction was “We’ll support your feelings privately, but please, PLEASE don’t embarrass us in public!” Typical. ---
**Author:** ![Kaitlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/73ab20/32.png) [@Kaitlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlyn)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lgbt-dopers-when-did-you-discover-your-sexuality-come-out/269999/123 "2004-12-31T19:15:51Z")
> [@lee](#): > > What kind of first name did you choose? I started a new thread to talk about this. You’ll find the answer to your question in the thread linked in my sig. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lgbt-dopers-when-did-you-discover-your-sexuality-come-out/269999/124 "2005-01-03T04:00:35Z")
Well, since this thread has been ressurected and linked to - why not? Up until the time when I had my first boyfriend at 17, all my throughts were pretty much romantic rather than sexual. It was only in the next several years that I realized I was also attracted to women. Since I was, and still am, in a long-term relationship with a guy, I figured I could ignore it. The first person I told my suspicions to was a doper, who gave me some good advice. She also asked me if I was worried my boyfriend wouldn’t take it well, which made me laugh. Up to that point, I was the only girlfriend he’d had that **wasn’t** bi. I stopped thinking about it for another year, and then I told him. He wasn’t shocked or upset. Since then, I’ve told my best friends, as well as a whole buncha dopers. Among other groups of friends, I don’t try to hide it but I haven’t said anythign straeight out ebcause I see no need. My family would definitely be accepting, my uncle is gay and very supported, but frankly, the less my parents know about my sexuality, the better. Yick. I just don’t like the term bisexual. It seems to have so many implications to me that I don’t identify with. It also feels a little dishonest, as I’ve never even kissed a girl, nor do I plan to. I think I prefer just accepting myself as me and leaving it at that. If my current relationship were to end (which I doubt it will), I would definitely try dating women, nor would I be afraid to bring them home to my family. Oh, and one more kind of amusing note, between being totally open about it and many people knowing, there was a pit thread in which I was accused by several people of being a homophobe. Poor **matt\_mcl** , who knew, had to wander into the thread and say: “She’s not a homophobe! Just… TRUST ME.” Hee. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lgbt-dopers-when-did-you-discover-your-sexuality-come-out/269999/125 "2005-01-03T04:12:57Z")
> [@LaurAnge](#): > > I just don’t like the term bisexual. It seems to have so many implications to me that I don’t identify with. It also feels a little dishonest, as I’ve never even kissed a girl, nor do I plan to. I think I prefer just accepting myself as me and leaving it at that. I have no idea if I have made this up or if I heard it somewhere, but I have mentally adopted the term “ambisexual” for precisely the reason you mention above. I’m female, married (to a man) and monogamous - but I don’t think I have an actual sexual orientation, let alone preference. I happened to meet and fall in love with and commit myself to a man, but I could have gone either way. “Bisexual” seems to imply “both ways.” ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lgbt-dopers-when-did-you-discover-your-sexuality-come-out/269999/126 "2005-01-03T04:15:44Z")
[Ambisexual](http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?search=ambisexual&searchmode=none). ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lgbt-dopers-when-did-you-discover-your-sexuality-come-out/269999/127 "2005-01-03T04:17:35Z")
> [@](#): > > Ambisexual was suggested 1924 but never caught on. I say we revive the attempt! ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lgbt-dopers-when-did-you-discover-your-sexuality-come-out/269999/128 "2005-01-03T04:22:10Z")
> [@LifeOnWry](#): > > I say we revive the attempt! At this point, I feel like pretty much any label is restrictive rather than freeing to me. But I’ve never heard ‘ambisexual’ before. I’ll keep it in mind. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Serpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@Silver\_Serpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Serpentine)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lgbt-dopers-when-did-you-discover-your-sexuality-come-out/269999/129 "2005-01-03T12:54:23Z")
I realized I was bi when I was 15. The first person I ever dated was a girl. In retrospect, I had a huge crush on a friend a had in middle school. I’ve dated a few girls, slept with a few. I knew a lot of girls in HS who claimed to be bi because it was sexy or cool or whatever. I was always annoyed by those girls. I’m 21, and I’m still very much bi. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Serpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@Silver\_Serpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Serpentine)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lgbt-dopers-when-did-you-discover-your-sexuality-come-out/269999/130 "2005-01-03T13:01:00Z")
I forgot about coming out. As far as friends are concerned, I’m completely out. At work, I don’t brag about it, but I don’t deny it. My parents don’t know, and I don’t know how they’d take it (Mom would probably be okay, Dad would freak). Little sister’s cool. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lgbt-dopers-when-did-you-discover-your-sexuality-come-out/269999.md?page=6)