# Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [August 29, 2001, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679 "2001-08-29T10:49:17Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@LoftStory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LoftStory)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/1 "2001-08-29T10:49:17Z")
I have notice that there are many postings against France on this message board. I would like to tell against them.
I have live in France from since my birth (except for one term in Washington dc, your great capital city! ha ha!), so perhaps I shall know best how splendid is my home country than the big USA.
Someone in an other section complained that french are dirty because they do not bath every day and because in Paris there is dogs making toilet on the ground. I am not to disagree, but instead to say “why is this so bad?” It is a symbol of true liberty (something America does not understand though we presented them a statue for their New York) that we do not degrade ourselves with picking up the dog’s toilet with our hands in bags like I have seen in the USA. THIS is dirty! I am rather to have it in my shoes than my hands, to be honest. And it is also the liberty that allows a man to smell like a man in France with a perfume to attract the girls, not always a shower. When I play football I shower, but that is at the sporting club, so I don’t see where is the problem if there is not bath at your home?! (I have a bath at my home.)
Frankly, I feel that Americans are just jealous of France and the “seduisant” nature that we have. Perhaps that is why they are to mention a war that happened to our grandparents to prove why they are so big! I will let them eat their MacDo and I will take our great french cuisine for a dinner.
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### Author:  [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/2 "2001-08-29T10:59:29Z")
I am picturing the above post being made by “Borat” from the Ali G show.
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### Author:  [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/3 "2001-08-29T11:37:57Z")
Perhaps I’m a bit suspicious…But could you translate your post in french, loftstory?
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### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/4 "2001-08-29T12:09:26Z")
I admit that I am jealous of France. I’ve always wanted to step in dog shit and watch men pee on the sidewalk, but I can’t due to petty local ordinances.
Sometimes I pretend that I am a Frenchman. I aim my nose at the heavens as I saunter lazisly down the street, refusing to say words like “hotdog” and “weekend”. Vive L’Académie Française! Yes, I run into poles and buildings from time to time, but it’s worth it. Since I can’t throw dog crap on the sidewalk, I throw banana peels instead. It gives me a warm feeling as feet go flying in the air and I hear the cracking of backs on the pavement.
I like sitting in restaurants with my cloud of stench hanging over me. I lift up my arm to inhale the powerful vapors while I eat my slugs. I pick fights with Germans in the restaurant because I always know there will be plenty of Americans who will bail me out. And when they do, I like to fart on them and tell them “Merci pour rien!”
Thanks for this thread, LoftStory. It’s high time a Frenchman spoke his mind.
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### Author:  [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/5 "2001-08-29T12:29:19Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Libertarian \*
> **I pick fights with Germans in the restaurant because I always know there will be plenty of Americans who will bail me out. And when they do, I like to fart on them and tell them "Merci pour rien!"**
If ever I’ve seen a sig line, this is it!!
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### Author:  [@LoftStory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LoftStory)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/6 "2001-08-29T13:32:17Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by clairobscur \*
> \*\*Perhaps I’m a bit suspicious…But could you translate your post in french, loftstory? \*\*
Gr‰ce ˆ la mondialisation j’ai le privilge d’utiliser un ordi amŽricain qui ne sait Žvidemment pas traiter notre langue comme il le faut et je ne devrais pas tre obligŽ d’utiliser vos caractres amŽricains pour exprimer mes pensŽes, moi je prŽfre conserver l’usage de “la plus belle langue du monde” dans son forme originale plut™t que subir.
Clair, would you rather I use English subtitres? And the other 'Ricain makes my point with his ignorance comments of Germany.
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### Author:  [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/7 "2001-08-29T13:43:03Z")
::applauds **Lib** ::
That was hilarious. Your sarcasm machine is running full speed today!
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### Author:  [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/8 "2001-08-29T13:48:20Z")
Mon Computer non comprends pas le francais but it can do **é, è, ê, í etc** and they display tres bon because Bill Portes (a Frenchman) invented “fenetres”, the System Operatif we all use. But I still think someone has a baguette up his cul-de-sac.
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### Author:  [@pennylane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pennylane)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/9 "2001-08-29T13:52:55Z")
LoftStory you’re probably using a Macintosh and if you are, it serves you right…!
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### Author:  [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/10 "2001-08-29T14:24:50Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by LoftStory \*
> I have notice that there are many postings against France on this message board. I would like to tell against them.
We’d pick on Belgians but it’s not as much fun because they have a sense of humour.
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by LoftStory \*
> I have live in France from since my birth (except for one term in Washington dc, your great capital city! ha ha!), so perhaps I shall know best how splendid is my home country than the big USA.
I see. So you lived in DC for one term of school(I presume) and you know everything there is to know about America from that single experience? Spoken like a true frenchman.
As a Canadian living in the US for many years now and having benefited from living in many different places in the US (including DC), I can tell you with all certainty that you’ve seen almost nothing of America. Certainly not enough to make an informed opinion.
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by LoftStory \*
> Someone in an other section complained that french are dirty because they do not bath every day and because in Paris there is dogs making toilet on the ground. I am not to disagree, but instead to say “why is this so bad?” It is a symbol of true liberty…
Ah, yes. France. The land of canine liberty and smelly shoes.
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by LoftStory \*
> we do not degrade ourselves with picking up the dog’s toilet with our hands in bags like I have seen in the USA. THIS is dirty!
Well, it’s not pleasant and I certainly wouldn’t want to do it which is part of the reason I don’t own a pet. On the other hand, it’s not dirty if done right and if you _wash_ your hands with _soap_ afterwards. It’s also considered common courtesy for fellow human beings. Being responsible for your animal and to your neighbours is something that is considered to be a good and descent thing…to…do… I’m wasting my time here, aren’t I?
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by LoftStory \*
> And it is also the liberty that allows a man to smell like a man in France with a perfume to attract the girls, not always a shower.
I see, so shoes full of dog shit and lack of personal hygene passes for perfume to attract french women? No wonder all the famous perfume designers are french. It’s not luxury but a matter of survival for the french women.
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by LoftStory \*
> Perhaps that is why they are to mention a war that happened to our grandparents to prove why they are so big!
Perhaps you should show a little gratitude because if America didn’t help out your grandparents then you would not be here to whine about Americans. Or perhaps you would, but with a German accent.
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by LoftStory \*
> I will let them eat their MacDo and I will take our great french cuisine for a dinner.
Look I like French cuisine as much as the next guy but you guys did not invent food so stop acting like you did.
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### Author:  [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/11 "2001-08-29T14:33:06Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by LoftStory \*
> “la plus belle langue du monde”
The allies should have let the Germans keep France. At least Germans still make good cars. All they make in France lately is arrogance.
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### Author:  [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/12 "2001-08-29T14:34:13Z")
Any chance that a mod might be able to verify if the posters IP address is for a french ISP? For some reason I’m not convinced.
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### Author:  [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/13 "2001-08-29T14:37:18Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by QuickSilver \*
> The allies should have let the Germans keep France. At least Germans still make good cars. All they make in France lately is arrogance. \*\*
You’re forgetting some rather nice clothes, some splendid wine and some pretty good dance music just now. And don’t even get me started on pate or cheese.
Me, I just love everyone. Ain’t I lucky.
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### Author:  [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/14 "2001-08-29T14:49:40Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Gary Kumquat \*
> You’re forgetting some rather nice clothes, some splendid wine and some pretty good dance music just now. And don’t even get me started on pate or cheese.
Other countries design nice clothes. Most clothes are actually manufactured in the far east. Plenty of other countries in the world that make a very fine wine. Pate and cheese are commonly manufactured everywhere.
But only Germany makes the Porsche.
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Gary Kumquat \*
> Me, I just love everyone. Ain’t I lucky.
Me too actually. But I’m feeling argumentative and out of sorts today and LoftStory is asking for it.
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### Author:  [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/15 "2001-08-29T15:36:07Z")
Hey! This isn’t fair _loftstory_. Its not just the Americans that make fun of the French! Canadians do as well!
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### Author:  [@LoftStory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LoftStory)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/16 "2001-08-29T16:12:12Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by bernse \*
> \*\*Hey! This isn’t fair _loftstory_. Its not just the Americans that make fun of the French! Canadians do as well! \*\*
Of what are you talking? If you don’t know, Canada was a french colony. In fact, I know several Canadiens here that all tell me how splendid it is to live in Paris. I have went to Canada myself and people there were very nicer than Americans! Maybe you should read a book about your north nieghbors to understand. Oh no, Americans can’t read, I nearly forgot. ha ha
I am leaving work now…when I am at my home eating delicious cassoulet I will think of you and your big macs!
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### Author:  [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/17 "2001-08-29T16:17:03Z")
I guess LoftStory is still cheesed over that pesky XYZ affair.
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### Author:  [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/18 "2001-08-29T16:34:31Z")
Why am I getting a mental picture of **LostStory** wearing a Marseilles sailor shirt and a beret with a pencil-thin moustache and a baguette under one arm?
Anyway, judging by the writing style, I’d be highly dubious if he is posting from a French ISP.
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### Author:  [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/19 "2001-08-29T16:36:10Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by UncleBeer \*
> \*\*I guess LoftStory is still cheesed over that pesky XYZ affair. \*\*
?
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### Author:  [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)
#### Post date: [August 29, 2001, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/liberte-egalite-fraternite/78679/20 "2001-08-29T16:46:40Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by LoftStory \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by bernse \*
> > \*\*Hey! This isn’t fair _loftstory_. Its not just the Americans that make fun of the French! Canadians do as well! \*\*
>
> Of what are you talking? If you don’t know, Canada was a french colony. In fact, I know several Canadiens here that all tell me how splendid it is to live in Paris. I have went to Canada myself and people there were very nicer than Americans! Maybe you should read a book about your north nieghbors to understand. Oh no, Americans can’t read, I nearly forgot. ha ha
>
> I am leaving work now…when I am at my home eating delicious cassoulet I will think of you and your big macs! \*\*
Heh. Look at my profile genius. I am a Canadian.
Yes, Canada started out as a French colony but lost it. (like all other wars the French seem to get in). Thank god for small miracles 🙂
BTW - I love this line! You should use it as a sig.
> [@](#):
>
> And it is also the liberty that allows a man to smell like a man in France with a perfume to attract the girls, not always a shower.
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