# Lie about yourself **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 2, 2023, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965 "2023-08-02T16:45:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 21
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2024, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/402 "2024-11-04T18:59:25Z")
I have no kids myself, but fathers pay me to write their dad jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2024, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/403 "2024-11-05T15:52:18Z")
I pay Quondam\_Mechanic premium rates for my jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2024, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/404 "2024-11-05T23:43:00Z")
I write the songs that make the whole world sing. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![SunUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SunUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunUp)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2024, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/405 "2024-11-12T15:04:13Z")
Solme people call me the space cowboy. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2024, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/406 "2024-11-12T17:31:46Z")
Some call ME the “Gangster of Love”! ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2024, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/407 "2024-11-12T17:32:28Z")
Steve Miller, himself, calls me “Maurice.” ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2024, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/408 "2024-11-12T17:36:41Z")
Yeah, but I’m the one who knows how to spell “pompatus.” ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2024, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/409 "2024-11-12T17:47:10Z")
> [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](#): > > Some call ME the ‘Gangster of Love’! Maybe so, but I wrote the Book of Love. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2024, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/410 "2024-11-13T13:25:09Z")
Next to posting on the Dope, my greatest claim to fame is probably when I translated the Bible into pig Latin. ---
**Author:** ![SunUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SunUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunUp)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2024, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/411 "2024-11-13T17:44:12Z")
I gave **Cardigan** the idea to title his translation _The Ulgate-Vay_. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2024, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/412 "2024-11-13T19:29:22Z")
I own 75 cardigans, each of them a different color. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2024, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/413 "2024-11-14T21:27:35Z")
I own 76 kenobis, all in various shades of dun. ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2024, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/414 "2024-11-15T01:44:45Z")
All of my 77 pigs wear cardigans and can speak Latin. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2024, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/415 "2024-11-18T03:37:53Z")
John Houseman was my great-grandfather. On my mother’s side. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2024, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/416 "2024-11-25T14:54:26Z")
John Houseman came to me one day asking if I had any suggestions for lines he might use for an upcoming [Smith Barney commercial](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMPu99_Xvjw). I suggested he say “they make money the old fashioned way: they _steal_ it.” Houseman, however, didn’t think it quite hit the mark he was aiming for and decided to go with “they earn it” instead. Between you and me, I think he should have listened to my suggestion. His career went nowhere afterwards, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Hatchie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hatchie/32/3983_2.png) [@Hatchie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hatchie)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2024, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/417 "2024-11-30T22:43:14Z")
As the top seafood biologist, I have determined that scallops are afraid of goats. ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2024, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/418 "2024-12-01T01:10:01Z")
Just to annoy my friend **Hatchie** , I always serve scallops and goat cheese for hors d’oevres when he visits. ---
**Author:** ![Hatchie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hatchie/32/3983_2.png) [@Hatchie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hatchie)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2024, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/419 "2024-12-05T20:14:51Z")
I live at 12302496721 Myopia St., the biggest house number in the world. ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2024, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/420 "2024-12-05T20:33:46Z")
I live in a broom closet on the north side of the Mall of America and ride my Harley through the concourse in the middle of the night when no one else is there. ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2024, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/421 "2024-12-05T21:47:14Z")
I just bought a small castle in Romania. Planning to move there mid-April after the renovations. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965.md?page=20) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965.md?page=22)