# Lie about yourself **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 2, 2023, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965 "2023-08-02T16:45:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 50
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2026, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/983 "2026-10-18T23:23:04Z")
My ‘little black book’ contains a list of everyone who has ever wronged me and I update it every night before bed without fail. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2026, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/984 "2026-10-19T00:44:04Z")
My ‘little white book’ contains a list of everyone in the world who has never wronged me and I cross a few people out every day. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2026, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/985 "2026-10-19T03:04:22Z")
How odd. I have a “little green book” which I fill with all of my thoughts about the environment every day. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2026, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/986 "2026-10-19T03:12:00Z")
I spent years cataloging rodent droppings in a “little red book,” under my pen name, Mousey Dung. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2026, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/987 "2026-10-19T04:54:45Z")
I stole @kenobi_65 's collection of mouse dung and used it judiciously to take revenge on a few of the people who have wronged me. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2026, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/988 "2026-10-22T04:34:24Z")
I once saw a Judicious Mouse Dung show at CBGB. ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2026, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/989 "2026-10-27T22:42:46Z")
Whenever the Department of Agriculture has an asparagus-related emergency, they call me. Their nickname for me has become ‘The Tip of the Spear’. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2026, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/990 "2026-10-28T04:45:39Z")
Thanks to a well-timed USDA announcement, I once almost cornered the market in Frozen Concentrate Orange Juice futures. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2026, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/991 "2026-10-28T05:08:25Z")
Fortunately, I was able to thwart Elendil’s Heir’s get-rich-quick scheme. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2026, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/992 "2026-10-28T06:43:49Z")
> [@Ferris](#): > > Their nickname for me has become ‘The Tip of the Spear’. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I was so aroused by that moniker that I spent several weeks and an inordinate amount of cash trying (unsuccessfully, as it turned out) to track down Ferris IRL. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2026, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/993 "2026-10-28T08:39:16Z")
When women hear my nickname they typically spend several weeks and an inordinate amount of cash (successfully) making sure they never have anything to do with me, ever. ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2026, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/994 "2026-10-28T19:37:16Z")
Whenever I need to ‘disappear’ in order to avoid someone, I book a room at a very discreet hotel in Cairo. ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2026, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/995 "2026-10-28T21:37:28Z")
I’m a front-desk clerk at a very discreet hotel in Cairo, and I make a nice side income by ratting out people who are trying to avoid other people. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2026, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/996 "2026-10-29T02:44:55Z")
I worked security at the Cairo hotel, turns out it the big sneak in was booze, not broads. 🙀 ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2026, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/997 "2026-10-29T03:19:39Z")
My favourite pistachios are the ones whose shells are really hard to get open - I just get a greater sense of satisfaction from eating them when I know the effort it took to prise them out. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2026, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/998 "2026-10-29T10:48:03Z")
I want my death certificate to read: Cause of death - cashew overdose ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2026, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/999 "2026-10-29T16:10:28Z")
I want MY cause of death to read _‘withheld by reason of government security’_. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2026, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1000 "2026-10-30T00:48:34Z")
I can arrange that. Where’s my memo pad…hmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2026, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1001 "2026-10-30T03:22:08Z")
I don’t have a memo pad, because I never forget anything. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2026, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1002 "2026-11-01T04:38:15Z")
I forget about half of everything I ever learn, but then I remember it again _exactly_ a week later. It’s very distracting. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965.md?page=49) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965.md?page=51)