# Lie about yourself **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 2, 2023, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965 "2023-08-02T16:45:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 51
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2026, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1003 "2026-11-01T06:17:02Z")
I am the love child of Patrick Stewart and Joan Baez. As a result, I am totally bald on half my head and have long dark hair on the other. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2026, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1004 "2026-11-01T09:00:10Z")
I am not bald ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2026, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1005 "2026-11-01T12:32:49Z")
I’m a guy and I once grew my hair down to the back of my knees and entered a Crystal Gayle lookalike contest. I came in second. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2026, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1006 "2026-11-03T02:37:05Z")
I was there, and I remember that! Crystal Gayle entered the contest herself and came in first, the egotistical bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2026, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1007 "2026-11-03T10:53:02Z")
Back when I was a female impersonator, my stage name was Quartz Windstorm. ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2026, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1008 "2026-11-09T00:13:49Z")
I have patented a fully organic circuit board made from nori and magnetic squid ink. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2026, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1009 "2026-11-09T00:29:51Z")
I had one of @Ferris fully organic circuit boards for a short while but a manatee ate it. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2026, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1010 "2026-11-09T01:59:47Z")
I once kissed a manatee right on its fuzzy mouth. Fortunately, the rangers didn’t see it or there would have been a hefty fine and possible jail time. The sea cow needed a breath mint. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2026, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1011 "2026-11-09T04:33:06Z")
I once undertook an exhaustive study of the mooing language of sea cows, but no one would publish it, so I fed all my notes to **burpo.** ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1012 "2026-11-10T14:26:05Z")
Urp! They were delicious! Distinctive seafood flavor. Much obliged! Send more! Urp! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1013 "2026-11-10T14:55:19Z")
I am the inventor of Gas-Ex tablets. The secret ingredient is Prawns. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1014 "2026-11-10T17:27:38Z")
My former wife was found dead in a room filled with poisonous fumes. The police suspected me of murder partly because it was well known I was to receive millions from her estate and partly because a packet of @Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor’s Gas-Ex tablets were found in my house. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2026, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1015 "2026-11-10T19:29:09Z")
No-no-no. That was not my Gas-Ex. That was GAS-X. Which I use. For duck hunting. Yeah. Yeah. _That’s_ the ticket. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2026, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1016 "2026-11-11T04:55:28Z")
Jon Lovitz just told me that it’s totally cool that **Bosda** is using one of his best-known comedic catchphrases here. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2026, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1017 "2026-11-11T05:28:48Z")
I was Morgan Fairchild’s “rebound boyfriend,” after she divorced Jon Lovitz. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2026, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1018 "2026-11-12T01:36:42Z")
Post-Morgan, I, as Jon’s bootleg absinthe dealer, managed to hook him up with Temple Grandin, where to this day in their connubial bliss run a bustling condom stand at some beach near LA. ---
**Author:** ![SunUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SunUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunUp)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2026, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1019 "2026-11-12T02:57:07Z")
I’ve never heard of this “Jon Lovitz” person. His existence must be key to the last few posted lies. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2026, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1020 "2026-11-12T03:10:53Z")
The inability of Dragon Dictate to cope effectively with the difference between “John” and “Jon” fills me with joy and calm and makes my life easier. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2026, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1021 "2026-11-12T05:23:55Z")
I always imagined Smaug the dragon in _The Hobbit_ to be a _very_ bright blue and about eight inches long. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2026, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965/1022 "2026-11-12T13:17:54Z")
I have managed to accidentally cut myself in every state of the Union. Plus D.C.. And Guam. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965.md?page=50) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lie-about-yourself/987965.md?page=52)