# Lies people tell **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 3, 2011, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-people-tell/584183 "2011-06-03T10:51:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-people-tell/584183/21 "2011-06-03T18:24:33Z")
You don’t look a day over 30. ---
**Author:** ![phreesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@phreesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phreesh)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-people-tell/584183/22 "2011-06-03T19:08:25Z")
“Your call is important to us.” “The jury will disregard that outburst” “Don’t worry, this won’t have any reflection on your bonus” ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-people-tell/584183/23 "2011-06-03T20:41:03Z")
“I tell it like it is.” No, you tell it like you see it. “My house is sooooo messy.” There will be a tiny layer of dust in the museum-like living room. “My house is kind of in disarray.” I’ll need the surgical gloves. “It’s been a while since I’ve done laundry.” The entire bedroom (or in one case, bedroom and hallway) floor is carpeted in dirty clothes. “The dog is pretty docile.” Means it doesn’t bite. Says nothing about bark bark bark bark barking nonstop the whole time I’m there. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-people-tell/584183/24 "2011-06-03T20:51:38Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > “My house is kind of in disarray.” I’ll need the surgical gloves. > > “It’s been a while since I’ve done laundry.” The entire bedroom (or in one case, bedroom and hallway) floor is carpeted in dirty clothes. Just what the hell were you doing in my apartment?!? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2011, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-people-tell/584183/25 "2011-06-03T22:16:07Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > “I _need_ those oxys for my _scroosheeaytin_ pain, Doc!” Rather like the con I heard assuring the hospital doctor that he was clean, he’d got himself off the drugs, the prison doctor had nothing to do with it, and he _neeeeeeded_ morphine for his belly pain… ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2011, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-people-tell/584183/26 "2011-06-04T12:42:34Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > You’ll feel a little pinch (when being stuck in the mouth with a needle the size of a cannon). > > There will be some discomfort (it’s going to hurt like a motherfucker). I assume this is meant at the dentist’s office, these lies also works for anal too. ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-people-tell/584183/27 "2011-06-05T05:03:32Z")
"Trust me. I’ve done this before. " Sure you have. Where’s the fire extinguisher? “You’ve got to hear this album / see this movie. It’s THE BEST!” I’m sure it is. I will be sure to do that right after I wash my cat and rotate my tires. The last time somebody tried to sell me on this was _Superbad._ I walked out after 15 minutes. “Taste this. I don’t know if I like it.” Total trap if your SO does this. I don’t know anybody who’s given the right answer. ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-people-tell/584183/28 "2011-06-05T05:26:18Z")
I hate it when someone asks me a “quick question” at work. Well, the _question_ is quick. However, it would usually take hours of research for me to answer it. ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-people-tell/584183/29 "2011-06-05T11:08:45Z")
“I’m not angry” “It was on sale” (one of women’s top lies, according to an Australian newspaper) Friendly fire ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-people-tell/584183/30 "2011-06-05T12:32:42Z")
> [@AaronX](#): > > Friendly fire Isn’t that an oxymoron? ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-people-tell/584183/31 "2011-06-05T12:57:55Z")
“If I weren’t already dating someone, I’d totally be into you.” “You speak better Japanese than a native Japanese person!” “I’m sorry you were offended.” “I didn’t even notice the spinach stuck between your front teeth, honest!” ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2011, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-people-tell/584183/32 "2011-06-05T13:04:50Z")
I never lie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-people-tell/584183.md?page=1)