# Lies you tell your pets **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 20, 2018, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745 "2018-04-20T01:12:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/1 "2018-04-20T01:12:56Z")
We cut leftover meat or inexpensive cuts of meat into bite size pieces and freeze them for cookies or treats for the dog. When I take her to her crate for the night, I tell her, “I have cookies freshly frozen for your dining pleasure!” What lies or exaggerations do you tell your pets? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/2 "2018-04-20T01:28:58Z")
I tell my dogs I am a great opera star. They enjoy my singing so much, sometimes they sing-a-long. I tell my cats there is nothing outside that they would find fun or interesting. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/3 "2018-04-20T02:51:53Z")
“Come inside, we’re going for a ride!” Nah just kidding, we’re staying here. I just didn’t want you outside anymore. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/4 "2018-04-20T02:53:42Z")
“You’re a good boy" ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/5 "2018-04-20T03:10:07Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > “Come inside, we’re going for a ride!” > > Nah just kidding, we’re staying here. I just didn’t want you outside anymore. I used to use that ruse when my dog would get loose. “Want to go for a R I D E in the car? Get in!” But hten I’d always take them for a short ride so they would continue to trust me. StG ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/6 "2018-04-20T03:39:20Z")
“We’ll be right back.” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/7 "2018-04-20T11:02:43Z")
> [@j666](#): > > “We’ll be right back.” I tell the dogs and bird “I’ll be right back” all the time, and I mean it. I always _do_ come back. Sometimes in 10 minutes, sometimes an hour, sometimes after two weeks of vacation. ---
**Author:** ![brainstall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@brainstall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainstall)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/8 "2018-04-20T11:20:35Z")
I tell them I’m going to take them back to where they came from. Sometimes I threaten to sell them for research. They don’t believe me and continue to be naughty. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/9 "2018-04-20T12:42:36Z")
“Kitty, if you don’t shut up, I’m going to twist your little head around until it pops off.” ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/10 "2018-04-20T13:07:11Z")
I’ve always told all my dogs and cats that s/he is the BEST doggie/kitty in the whole world! They always buy it. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/11 "2018-04-20T13:11:40Z")
Every day I say to my dog, “I don’t like dogs. In fact NOBODY likes dogs. And I kill puppies!” I get away with it as I’m pretty sure she fails to translate my words out of English and into Dogspeak. Whatta dummy! ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/12 "2018-04-20T13:33:09Z")
“Just being cute does not entitle you to any of my dinner.” Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/13 "2018-04-20T13:41:39Z")
“I DON’T HAVE YOUR BALL!” Said 636 times a day to our fetch crazy Border collie who is always losing her tennis balls. “SHADDUP! OTHER DOGS HAVE THE RIGHT TO WALK DOWN OUR STREET!” Self explanatory. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/14 "2018-04-20T13:44:12Z")
When I’m the last one out the door, I tell the cat to guard the house for us. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/15 "2018-04-20T14:48:30Z")
Once one of my ringneck parrots was at the window in the morning screaming at something. I said “Oh, did a meteor hit the yard last night?” Then I looked out another window and saw that it had snowed. So then I said “Sorry about the fallout, I tried to prevent the nuclear war but my phone battery died during negotiations. Go to the neighbor’s house and ask if we can use his fallout shelter.” She screamed for a couple more hours. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/16 "2018-04-20T14:57:38Z")
A double lie: “I’ll be right back,” as I’m leaving for work for the day. Then, when I’m halfway down the stairs and realize I’ve forgotten something and have to actually go right back, “See, I \*told \*you I’d be right back!” ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/17 "2018-04-20T15:46:16Z")
“You won’t like this.”, when they’re begging for my dinner. “You’re evil.”, said to Boo, the wicked cat of the West. She’s really more Chaotic. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/18 "2018-04-20T15:59:50Z")
_“You’re my Favorite!”_ - I tell them all that. Good thing I only have one kid. ---
**Author:** ![peedin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peedin/32/14095_2.png) [@peedin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peedin)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/19 "2018-04-20T16:55:08Z")
I tell my cat and horse “you are naughty.” They aren’t. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2018, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745/20 "2018-04-20T17:16:29Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > When I’m the last one out the door, I tell the cat to guard the house for us. When you come home and find a UPS guy on the porch with his throat ripped out, what will be your excuse? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/lies-you-tell-your-pets/812745.md?page=2)