# "Life-changing announcement" {husband has melanoma, which has spread} **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 11, 2011, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092 "2011-06-11T07:09:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/1 "2011-06-11T07:09:15Z")
My husband was diagnosed with a melanoma, which was surgically removed but the cancer has spread to his lymph nodes. He is having a body scan next week to see if it has spread anywhere else. I am numb. He keeps saying “it is what it is”. I guess I am writing to ask if there are any northern Ca. dopers who could recommend a top notch facility for trials/treatment/alternative therapies. I heard UCSF has a clinic just for melanoma patients. Maybe Stanford? Any way, keep us in your thoughts and send some energy our way, if you have some to spare. We are exhausted. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/2 "2011-06-11T08:10:23Z")
I am so sorry. I am in NorNor Cal, but do not really know enough to recommend any one facility over another. I have heard excellent things about UCSF. Both your husband and you will be in my prayers. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/3 "2011-06-11T12:28:40Z")
I’m very sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis, beckwall. I don’t have any recommendations, but I will offer prayers for you and for his recovery. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/4 "2011-06-11T12:54:05Z")
No advice, sorry, but you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers. ---
**Author:** ![Hokkaido\_Brit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d26b3c/32.png) [@Hokkaido\_Brit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hokkaido_Brit)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/5 "2011-06-11T12:59:06Z")
And in mine too. I’m wishing you some little islands of peace in these horrible stressful days. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/6 "2011-06-11T14:22:22Z")
I’m sorry to hear about the cancer. You both have my best wishes for a speedy recovery. (If this isn’t too bold to say, I look forward to your post where you both triumphantly proclaim that you’ve Kicked Cancer’s Ass.) ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/7 "2011-06-11T17:03:53Z")
I’m very sorry to hear that you received this scary news. In case you didn’t already see it, I wanted to mention there was a recent news article talking about two new drugs that show a lot of promise for advanced melanoma: > **[Skin Cancer Basics](https://www.webmd.com/melanoma-skin-cancer/understanding-skin-cancer-basics?src=RSS_PUBLIC)** > > From symptoms to prevention, get the basics on skin cancer from the experts at WebMD. I would definitely suggest asking the oncologists you’ve been working with about what clinical trials they are aware of that might be a good fit for your husband. That might help you decide where to go for a second opinion since different facilities will be involved in different trials. I know that it is really scary when a loved one has been diagnosed with advanced cancer, but every year there is more progress in trying to stop these awful diseases. I wish you both the best. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2011, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/8 "2011-06-12T01:16:43Z")
(((my fervent wishes for a positive outcome))). You are living what I fear will happen with us, someday, or something similar. I’m sorry, I wish you good luck and peace. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2011, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/9 "2011-06-12T01:22:30Z")
My husband just finished chemo and radiation for stage 1 mantle cell lymphoma. I’m in Mississippi, so no advice on locations: just lots of good, healing thoughts and prayers coming your way. Oh, and you might find some joy in [this article](http://marshallramsey.com/2011/01/29/hope-how-to-slay-a-dragons-little-brother-part-1/). Marshall Ramsey is the editorial cartoonist for our local newspaper, the Clarion-Ledger: he’s the cousin to Dave Ramsey, and he’s a melanoma survivor. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2011, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/10 "2011-06-12T02:27:03Z")
Oh no. I don’t know of any facilities in CA but just wanted to chime in with wishing you guys the best while you beat this challenge. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2011, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/11 "2011-06-12T04:35:35Z")
Goodness, we’ve been having a lot of trials on the Dope lately. I’m so sorry to hear this news. My FIL was successfully treated for melanoma but it had not moved to his lymph nodes so I don’t have a lot to add. Take gentle care of yourself as you both travel this difficult journey. Godspeed to both of you. ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2011, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/12 "2011-06-12T21:10:33Z")
Thank you all for your kindness and encouragement. It truly is “one day at a time” right now. Today is nap day, and that’s OK. If your body says “I’m tired”, then no reason to feel guilty about sleeping during the day. I will keep you all posted. PET scan is this Wed. then follow-up with MD on Monday the 20th. Send us good thoughts on those days, ok? ---
**Author:** ![CoffinMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9bd4f/32.png) [@CoffinMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoffinMan)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2011, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/13 "2011-06-12T21:30:02Z")
> [@beckwall](#): > > My husband was diagnosed with a melanoma, which was surgically removed but the cancer has spread to his lymph nodes. He is having a body scan next week to see if it has spread anywhere else. I am numb. He keeps saying “it is what it is”. I guess I am writing to ask if there are any northern Ca. dopers who could recommend a top notch facility for trials/treatment/alternative therapies. I heard UCSF has a clinic just for melanoma patients. Maybe Stanford? Any way, keep us in your thoughts and send some energy our way, if you have some to spare. We are exhausted. Sorry to hear about this. I’m not particular religious, but will pray for you and your husband. I am not familir with Northern California, but I do know that City of Hope in Southern California is well known for it’s cancer treatments. http:\www.cityofhope.org Wishing you both the best of luck! ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2011, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/14 "2011-06-12T22:07:57Z")
Crap! I’m very sorry to hear this. ☹ I have an ex-sister-in-law who has beaten three different types of cancer. She was treated each time at [M.D. Anderson](http://www.mdanderson.org/) in Texas. I know that’s not in California, and none of hers were melanoma, but I’d see if your doctor would check with them anyway - it couldn’t hurt. **Ann** , I had no idea! So sorry to hear about your hubby as well. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2011, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/15 "2011-06-12T22:27:26Z")
[This page](http://www.cms.gov/AcuteInpatientPPS/10_PPS_Exc_Cancer_Hosp.asp#TopOfPage) lists cancer hospitals with special Medicare exemptions. These tend to be heavy-research hospitals with very strong reputations, but they’re definitely not the only good cancer hospitals. [This organization](http://www.melanoma.org/) seems to have a lot of helpful links, including [a link to melanoma treatment centers](http://www.melanoma.org/learn-more/melanoma-treatment-centers). It says it has a four-star rating on Charity Navigator, but currently really has 3. A similar organization I found through Charity Navigator also has a [melanoma page](http://www.skincancer.org/Melanoma/). This one has information on recently-approved treatments. Good vibes headed out for both of you. ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/16 "2011-06-13T02:32:41Z")
> [@Ann\_Onimous](#): > > My husband just finished chemo and radiation for stage 1 mantle cell lymphoma. My father was recently diagnosed with this. He’s had many health problems in the past few years (and also survived Hodgkin’s 35 years ago), so they’re waiting and watching for now. I hope your husband is doing well. And **beckwall** , I’m sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis. No advice, but I’ll be thinking of you both. ---
**Author:** ![moejoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@moejoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejoe)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/17 "2011-06-13T03:07:01Z")
My mom had cancer surgery at Stanford, and has been treated through Palo Alto Medical Foundation ever since. The quality of care at both has been outstanding, and effective. PAMF has radiation technology that is only available at a few locations in the country and her doctors have been patient, smart, wonderful people. I have only good things to say about the doctors and nurses at both places. Having cancer sucks, but being the one who doesn’t have cancer and has to try to hold it all together is also incredibly difficult. Please be good to yourself, I’m holding good thoughts for you. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/18 "2011-06-13T06:36:23Z")
> [@CoffinMan](#): > > Sorry to hear about this. I’m not particular religious, but will pray for you and your husband. > > I am not familir with Northern California, but I do know that City of Hope in Southern California is well known for it’s cancer treatments. > > http:\www.cityofhope.org > > Wishing you both the best of luck! City of Hope quite literally saved the life of a friend of mine - I have nothing but the highest regard for them. beckwall, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this horrible news. ---
**Author:** ![Woeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Woeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Woeg)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/19 "2011-06-13T16:14:50Z")
_HUGS_ I know what you’re going through. Hang in there - you’re in our thoughts and prayers! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2011, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092/20 "2011-06-13T17:35:15Z")
Very sorry to hear this. Sendig healing wishes your way. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-changing-announcement-husband-has-melanoma-which-has-spread/585092.md?page=2)