# Life goes on.... Or does it? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 29, 2002, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439 "2002-10-29T19:52:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Washte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2002, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/1 "2002-10-29T19:52:51Z")
Well, if it’s not one thing, it’s another… As many of you know my family has not been doing well over the last 2 months… A quick overview for those who missed hubby’s threads: In August I was asked by family to come say my goodbyes to my father who was fighting an evil battle with cancer. Whilst there I found out I was pregnant with twins. 4 days later I lost the first twin - but we had one fighter left. Came home, started a new job. 10 days later my father died. I did not take time to grieve - new job, trying to hold it together for baby 2, and keep emotions to a minimum for hubby. Needless to say, 2 weeks later the second baby died. Had a D&E. 3 days later I went into labour again which lasted 5 days. Ended up in hospital again… After 3 weeks off I get back to work, only to find that my employer is hellbent on destroying my program (special teaching gig). New stuff… Last night - Monday - my sister rings from the US to tell me my mom is in hospital. She’s been in since Friday with heart attack symptoms. Mom’s hooked up to all sorts of machines and being monitored very closely. She’s on Heparin as well so every time they come to take blood it’s a messy deal. Sunday they did an angiogram and found two arteries are completely blocked and the other two are very ‘gungy’ as mom described it. Today she is #2 for surgery… a quadruple bi-pass… So, I’ve lost 2 babies, my father died, my mother is due for _major_ surgery, and I have to find another job. Two months of emotional rollercoaster of the worse kind… straight down. I’ve had enough. Hubby has had enough. This would go in the Pit so I could toss in a few curse words, but I’m too drained. I don’t even have the gumption to rant properly. The tears are ever threatening. I just want to go to sleep for a very very long time. To be woken up with a lovely cuppa tea and told this is all a nightmare. But it’s not. Thanks for listening. Sorry to be such a bummer. Please say a prayer for my mom today. Good vibes for my sanity are also greatly appreciated. I’ll get off the cross now… Someone else needs the firewood… Besides, I’ve had enough… ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2002, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/2 "2002-10-29T20:35:03Z")
Sending warm thoughts your way. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2002, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/3 "2002-10-29T21:03:40Z")
Anything I try to say sounds stupid, but I’ll be hoping for far better things in your life, if that helps at all. I’m so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/4 "2002-10-29T21:34:09Z")
You and your family will be in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2002, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/5 "2002-10-29T22:31:15Z")
I am remembering a similar bad time in our life, when in the course of a month it seemed like it was just one damned awful thing after another. With each new trial we hung on to each other and this thought: This too shall pass. We never know when, but I’ve always found it to be true. So ride it out, baby. Let yourself grieve (or not grieve) until you are comfortable with taking on a new, better emotion – however long that takes. Only you will know how long. This too shall pass. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2002, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/6 "2002-10-29T23:10:38Z")
Jeepers, what a terrible run of luck. I’m thinking of you and hoping things turn upward soon for you. Take care. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2002, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/7 "2002-10-29T23:18:48Z")
i’m so sorry. i will keep you in my prayers. i hope all will go well with your mom. ---
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2002, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/8 "2002-10-29T23:22:25Z")
You’ll have **prayers/positive thoughts/good vibes** coming from me 🙂 In the meantime, please do be kind to yourself (and have that cuppa tea anyway). Make sure you & **Kal** turn toward each other during this (understandably stressful) time and not away from one another - that’ll only make things worse. From what I have read of both your & his posts though you both seem like caring, wise people. Give him lots of hugs - you both need them. And keep talking about how you feel. Best Wishes ---
**Author:** ![Serendipity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Serendipity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serendipity)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/9 "2002-10-30T00:48:57Z")
You, **Kal** , and the rest of your family are in my prayers. Take care of yourself, OK? ---
**Author:** ![airdisc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19adc/32.png) [@airdisc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/airdisc)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/10 "2002-10-30T01:51:55Z")
Geez, my life has never gotten that bad. My prayers are with you. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/11 "2002-10-30T02:03:28Z")
As the official self-appointed sender of good **DoperVibes** [sup]tm[/sup], rest assured that I am sending yours post haste! There is nothing I can say to take away the pain you must be feeling right now. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers. Keep us posted. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/12 "2002-10-30T02:03:28Z")
**Washte** , you and **Kal** have been tremendously supportive to me during my recent run of bad luck. All I can do is offer you my love and support. Since I’ve already thanked God for you two, I’ll ask Him to look after you and your family as well. E-mail me if you need to whine, lament, or chat. {{{{{{Washte and Kal}}}}}} CJ ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/13 "2002-10-30T02:15:59Z")
Now that’s an image I **don’t** need! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nightsong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nightsong/32/3083_2.png) [@Nightsong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightsong)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/14 "2002-10-30T03:39:33Z")
More words of support from my little corner of the world… one step at a time, even if they’re small, even if they’re painful, but one step at a time will see you, Kal, and your family through this. Best wishes. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/15 "2002-10-30T11:16:41Z")
Excuse me. My last post somehow wound up here rather than in Washte’s thread in IMHO. No, you don’t want to know what image I’m talking about! CJ ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/16 "2002-10-30T11:28:12Z")
((washte and kal)) if it helps, i’ve been praying for your family since august, and will continue to do so. keep holding on, because it’s going to get better and stay better. have faith in the fact that things will come right. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/17 "2002-10-30T12:07:02Z")
Yes, life does go on. Some days you wonder what the point is, but it still trudges on. A good friend once offered me a perspective that has served me well over the years. Think of your life as a graph (sorry, we’re engineers - we think that way…) If you put all the ups and downs of your life on this graph, you’ll find they move around a fairly neutral level. Would you rather live your life at that neutral level, or are you willing to accept the low points knowing there will be high points along the way to balance them. I know I’d willingly sacrifice the safe and endure the bad in order to enjoy the great things that come along. (Somehow, it was more profound when he said it.) I wish you strength and peace as you deal with all the insanity being tossed your way. Lean on each other - it makes all the difference. ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/18 "2002-10-30T12:10:08Z")
All the best to you and **Kal**. Cling on to each other, you’ll make it through. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/19 "2002-10-30T13:46:19Z")
My best thoughts and wishes are going out to you and your mom. Don’t let things get you down, and remember that this, too, shall pass. Take some time to yourself. You and **Kal** can face this together and take strength from each other. As I once said to my wife, it’s you and me against the world; when do we attack? ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2002, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439/20 "2002-10-30T13:50:31Z")
**Washte** , damn. I wish there were something I could say or do to help you through this tough time. Just keep at the top of your mind that things **will** get better. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/life-goes-on-or-does-it/134439.md?page=2)